SHANIA TWAIN VS POSH SPICE
VS
Shania Twain(50%) draws
Posh Spice (50%) Whilst her
husband David was playing for England in
their abortive European Championship
campaign, Victoria Beckham took the
opportunity to go to New York to finish her
much awaited solo album. She needed to
get away from the bitching of her fellow Spice
Girls and the attention of the paparazzi. But
Victoria was disappointed by the lack
publicity she received from the American
press and positively livid when the resources
she was expecting at the recording studio
where diverted to meet the needs of Shania
Twain. Victoria had a snit and threw
Brooklyn's teddies in the corner and went in
search of Shania to give her a piece of her
mind.
When Victoria found Shania reclining at
leisure reading the Financial section of the
New York Times, her rage was driven to new
heights of apoplexy. Shania regarded the
Spice Girl with her shoulder length black hair
and red face as one would regard something
unpleasant on the pavement. Certainly not
something to trouble a singer with the record
for biggest selling sole album in the world.
Victoria regarded Shania as some banjo
plucking country bumpkin who had only had
three number ones by dressing like some
third rate whore; and she told her so. Shania
stood up and angrily told Mrs. Beckham that
she was an escapee from a freak show who
could go piss up a rope. Victoria responded
by throwing a glass of water in the Country
Singers face who responded with a slap.
Only the presence of ever diligent and
conscientious publicity staff prevented an
Anglo Canadian fight starting right there and
then. Instead Shania suggested that Victoria
come up to the top floor conference room at
7pm when everyone had gone home. The
record company readily agreed to this
arrangement not wanting to offend either
singer.
Both women slightly nervously whiled away
the day. At just before 7pm Victoria walked
up to the Conference Room only to find that
Shania was waiting for her. The tables had
all been pushed against the far wall with all
the tables and other peripheral items
removed. Through the large windows there
shone the lights from the street several
storeys below. As Mrs. Beckham entered the
room Shania, who had been sat on the a
table idling away the time, got up and walked
towards her English opponent. The country
singer was bare foot and clad in tight black
leather trousers, red strapless bra top and her
long brown hair worn natural. Posh Spice
was also clad in black leather trousers with a
black strapped bra top. As she closed the
door she removed her heels that although
expensive were a trifle impractical for the
fight to come. Both women were confident;
Shania had recently comprehensively kicked
Madonna's* butt and Victoria was unbeaten to
date, although she had been quite careful
about who she had tangled with. The two
singing stars slowly walked towards one
another in the center of the room.
"This is your last chance to back down, you're
new to town and on your own." said Shania
reasonably, as if discussing the price of Pork
Belly.
"I came here to take you down slut, not to say
sorry!" sneered Victoria. For good measure
she raised her right hand and slapped the
Country Singer across the face. This
completely stunned Shania who had
expected to overwhelm the British woman
with her reputation alone. Her head was
knocked sideways by the stinging blow, but
this wasn't new territory to Shania and she
was able to recover in the blink of an eye by
slapping Victoria across the cheek. Both
women ignored the stinging pain and the
large red marks that now adorned their faces.
They glared at one another for several
seconds before leaping forward and taking
two-handed grips on each others hair. Their
bodies slapped together and they started to
pull one another around the normally staid
boardroom by the roots of their hair. Short
sharp squeals and grunts of pain cut through
the silence. Their bodies, much admired and
lusted over rubbed up against one another
before slowly being pried apart as the two
singers pulled one another down by the roots
of their hair so that they were both bent over.
The pain in their scalps negated any chance
of a peaceful reconciliation.
They tried to pull one another around the
room and lashed out with their feet, but to
little affect. Indeed Shania came off worse
from the kicking as her foot made painful
contact with Victoria's knee. But this was the
first time that Victoria had fought with her
new long hair style and had not realized how
much more painful the hair pulling would be
now that her opponent had more to work
with. Shania managed to drag Mrs. Beckham
down onto her knees, although she didn't
release her hold on the country singers brown
locks. Shania followed up by advancing
towards her kneeling opponent. Posh Spice
tried to scramble backwards but her position
worked against any swift movement and she
soon found that she could no longer maintain
her hold on the brunette's hold. As her hands
fell away Victoria let out a squeal of
frustration. Shania pushed forward thrusting
the crotch of her leather trousers into the
English woman's face. As she kept moving
forward the Canadian woman pushed Victoria
onto her back and ended up sitting astride
her chest just beneath her breasts. Victoria's
shriek of frustration turned to anger and she
rained blows onto Shania's leather clad legs
either side of her body. When this had no
visible affect the Spice Girl turned her
attention to punching Shania in her bare
midriff. Shania grunted with pain at these
blows and twisted Mrs. Beckham's head she
her right cheek was being pushed into the
floor.
"Lie still you skanky British bitch and you
won't suffer to much!"
"Fuck off you stupid Canadian whore and go
back to your hog wrestling." sneered Victoria
defiantly, despite her position. To remind her
opponent that the fight was not yet over, she
brought her knee up into Shania's back. The
Canadian howled as the knee drove into her
spine and broke her hold on the prone British
woman. This enabled Victoria to turn her
head so that she was again looking at her
opponent, and seeing that Shania was still
writhing in pain, she reached up and clamped
her fingers over her red bra top. As Posh
Spice started to pull at the taut material of the
top away from Shania's breasts it not
unnaturally concentrated the country singers
mind. She reached for Victoria's hands in a
defensive move, whilst simultaneously
pressing her knees into the British singers
body. Posh Spice squealed with discomfort
whilst struggling to remove her opponents
top. The two women battled on in this
position for several moments, Victoria
eventually losing and letting Miss Twain's red
top to snap back into place. Shania then
used her dominant position to push Mrs.
Beckham's to the floor so that she could pin
her. But her apparent dominance caused the
Canadian to grow careless, so that Victoria
was able to free her left hand, reach up and
take hold of her long brown hair. Before
Shania could react Posh was able to pull her
head down so that their chests were pressed
together.
Shania Twain squealed and having returned
Vic's one handed hair pulling was forced to
adjust her body position to ease her
discomfort so that she was practically lying
on top of the British superstar. As they
struggled Victoria was able to roll them over
so that she was now on top. Shania
responded by using her other hand to attack
Mrs. Beckham's new hairstyle. Victoria did
likewise and the two singers rolled back and
forth across the floor pulling hair and hurling
insults. After a few minutes it became clear
to both women that there was no decisive
advantage to be achieved, however much
satisfaction they derived from the grimaces
on their opponents face. As if by some
mutual agreement (highly unlikely given the
new found hatred they felt towards one
another now) they broke apart and rolled in
separate directions.
Having broken apart the two women got to
their feet, their pin up bodies covered in a
light sheen of sweat. Victoria was actually in
some mild discomfort, this being the first time
she had fought in leather trousers. The two
singers circled wearily before locking their
hands together in a test of strength and
resolve. Posh Spice wanted to draw Shania
in close to her so that she could get to grips
with her. But the Canadian woman had been
around the block a few times (allegedly) and
wasn't playing that game. As a consequence
the two fighters stumbled around, trying to
bend each others wrists back, to little affect.
However the intensity of the struggle was
causing Victoria's tight trousers to chaff
painfully, and in order that she could adjust
herself she broke off the fight momentarily.
Shania, sensing an opportunity charged
forward, pushing her Posh Spice backwards
by the shoulders. As their momentum took
her backwards, Victoria was able to recover
sufficiently to flail some wild blows at the
Canadian, which appeared to have no affect.
It did distract Victoria from keeping her
balance in the face of Miss Twain's
momentum and, inevitably, she stumbled and
fell onto her back. In the process she brought
Shania down with her and the two women
landed in a tangled heap on the floor, a sight
that would have excited any red blooded
male.
Disappointed as she had not gained a
decisive advantage, Shania set about
plunging her hands into Vic's hair, which the
British woman returned in kind.
The two battlers resumed rolling back and
forth across the expensive carpet, neither
ever quite achieving a dominant position.
Having resumed the upper slot, so to speak,
Shania started to press her larger breasts
against Posh's. Even through the skimpy
material of their tops Posh could feel
Shania's larger nipples seeking out her own,
trying to dominate her. She secretly wished
that husband David could be there watching.
This thought inspired Victoria and she
repositioned her hair hold, so that she was
able to pull the country singer's head back.
Ignoring the squeal of pain, Posh Spice was
able to free a hand and slap Shania painfully
across the throat. As the Canadian gurgled
with pain, Mrs. Beckham was able to roll her
over so that she was now on top.
"Know your place bitch!" snarled Victoria, her
finely honed accent starting to betray her
Essex roots.
Shania Twain responded by taking a hand
from Vic's sweat dampened hair and placing
it under her English rivals chin and pushing
upwards.
Victoria's response was to bite her lip rather
than cry out in pain and move her hands
urgently (almost seductively one might say)
down Shania's body and sinking her fingers
into her opponents red top. When this had
no noticeable affect she started pulling at the
thin material of the garment with a renewed
sense of urgency. Unsurprisingly the top
started to fall apart exposing the Country
singers swelled breasts. But before Victoria
could assault them though, Shania was able
to transfer her hold to Posh's hair and used
this to through her clear. In the process of
this maneuver several strands of dark hair
came away in Miss Twain's fingers.
The two women rolled clear of one another
and as Posh Spice slowly got up, she rubbed
her head were she had lost her hair (and no
she didn't get splinters). This only served to
fuel her determination to defeat her foreign
opponent and she rose up on to her knees.
Shania did likewise, and the forces of gravity
caused what was left of her top to fall to the
floor. As the two singers closed on one
another pondering their next attack, they
lashed out with their hands hoping to grab
hold of the other woman. Shania feinted to
slap Victoria across the face, and as the
English rose moved to defend herself, she
instead drove her fist into her stomach. Mrs.
Beckham let out a groan of pain and slumped
forward, one hand around her stomach.
Shania smiled to herself as she reached
down and grabbed two handfuls of black hair
pulling Victoria upright. Still smarting from
the blow to her stomach Victoria made some
efforts to push the Canadian woman away
from her, but without success. To protect her
now exposed breasts Shania pressed her
body against Posh's, holding her in place with
a one handed hair hold whilst the free hand
was used to pull at the straps of the black
top.
"So lets see what you've go that satisfies that
horny husband of yours!" whispered Shania
maliciously.
"Fuck you!" was Victoria's slightly weak but
defiant reply as she struggled to make
Shania's efforts to disrobe her. To retake the
offensive, Mrs. Beckham moved one hand
into Shania's hair and slide the other down
her opponents back and took hold of the
waist of her leather trousers. Miss Twain was
more engrossed in fumbling with the straps of
Vic's tops (OK so its not rocket science, but
you had to be there) than worrying about how
she might be attacked. It was therefore a
complete surprise when the Spice Girl pulled
hard and the seam of her leather trousers bit
into he crotch. The attack was made worse
by Shania having changed into a pair of the
most inconsequential panties that she could
lay her hands on in anticipation of humiliating
the British singer. Shania arched her back
with pain and screamed an unmelodious way
as the unforgiving material bit in to her. The
Canadian superstar stopped trying to disrobe
her opponent and instead moved her hands
to try and push Victoria away from her.
Wanting some relief herself, Mrs. Beckham
broke off her attack and pushed Shania away
from her so that she rolled onto her back,
with the Spice Girl kneeling between her legs.
The two women paused for a few moments,
Victoria catching her breath and Shania
desperately adjusting herself to bring some
relief. It was the British woman who pounced
first and grabbed hold of Shania's trousers
and pulled the Country singer towards her.
Shania struggled but could do nothing to stop
herself being dragged across the carpet.
Having just survived one assault on her
womanhood, Shania Twain was alarmed to
see Victoria reaching for the zip on the front
of her trousers. Her automatic reaction was
to protect herself, but the British singer had
the advantage in this struggle. Just as
Victoria managed to pull the zip down,
Shania reached up and grabbed hold of
Victoria's hair with one hand and the strap of
her black top with the other and pulled her
down on top of her. As Posh Spice fell
forward the strap gave way, causing a breast
to pop into view, which pressed into Shania's
as she landed on top of her. Both women
grunted with pain and went straight for one
anthers long, and now disheveled, hair. They
rolled back and forth across the floor for a few
moments, before Victoria, having resumed
the upper position, managed to get her legs
astride Shania's body straddling her. Ignoring
the pain in her scalp, which was intense,
Posh Spice, moved her hands and placed
them over Shania's breasts and started to
squeeze, the fingers sinking cruelly into the
flesh. Shania screamed anew and tried to
buck and arch her back, but Victoria kept her
position. The Canadian broke her own hair
pulling attack and instead reached up and
grabbed Vic's exposed breast. As the British
singer howled with pain Shania feinted to
launch another breast attack with her free
hand, but instead moved towards the crotch
of Posh's leather trousers. The fly zip proved
to be no obstacle to Shania's experienced
fingers and she was able to quickly pull it
down and plunge her hand into the hole and
use her fingers to tug and scratch at Victoria's
unseen pussy.
"You dirty slut!" screeched Victoria as her
womanhood was ravaged by the Canadian's
fingers.
Like a scalded cat the Spice Girl moved back,
breaking off her breast attacks reluctantly to
gain some respite. As she moved out of
range Shania was also forced to break off her
attacks, her hand emerging from Victoria's
trousers, her fingers covered in short, damp,
black curly hairs. Believing herself to be out
of hand range Victoria stopped retreating and
started to pay some attention to her minge
and how damaged it was. In taking her eyes
off of her opponent, she didn't see Shania
kick out with her right foot, which caught her
squarely in the stomach. Mrs. Beckham was
totally unprepared for this assault and fell
towards the table at the back of the room,
close to tears at the punishment she had
taken. Her only consolation was that Shania
had not been wearing any footwear when she
had kicked her.
But Shania Twain felt in no condition to finish
her opponent off, as she was nursing her
damaged breasts. Hearing sounds of Posh
stirring for a new attack Shania started to
crawl towards a corner, anxious for more
respite. Victoria had, meanwhile, discarded
what was left of her bra top (David would
always buy a replacement) and started after
Shania on all fours, her breasts swaying as
she pursued.
Posh caught up with the Canadian with
despairing dive and landing on her legs,
causing the Country singer to fall flat on her
face. As Miss Twain rose, Victoria snaked an
arm between her legs, pulled open the half
open fly zip and pushed her hand inside. As
her fingers started to pluck at hair, scratch
delicate skin and worse Shania let out a
scream of pain. She tried to crawl away but
the pain was to intense and Victoria's grip too
strong. If it wasn't for the pain, the
experience might have been vaguely
pleasurable to both women. Shania bellowed
every expletive and insult that she could think
of at Victoria, who responded in kind with no
effort to maintain her accent. In blind
desperation, she didn't see. let alone get out
of the way of the flying leg that hit her on the
side of the head and knocked her to the floor.
The relief that washed over Shania was only
momentary as a groggy Spice Girl got to
hands and knees. The Canadian had
painfully pulled herself up onto her knees
when Victoria flung herself forward and
pushed her onto her back. The two women
laid there momentarily.
"Do you give?" asked Posh
"Screw you whore!" was Shania's response.
Victoria adjusted her body slightly so that she
was able to press her breasts down onto
Shania's. Both women grunted with pain as
battered and bruised flesh pressed together,
and they forgot their public persona as tears
started to roll down their cheeks. They rolled
back and forth across the floor, mainly
tugging at hair, but occasionally getting in
surreptitious blows to the body. There
movements got slower and slower until
eventually their weariness overtook them.
They were found an hour later by a security
guard doing his rounds lying side by side.
Both women were revived in separate rooms
and left separately proclaiming their famous
victory. Neither admitted to be the one who
gave up, and there was no security camera
coverage to prove who got off who. Some
suggested that they had fought to a standstill.
But such an unsatisfactory response was
unappetizing to both women and each
maintained that they had won. Victoria
Beckham was certainly treated like a winner
by her husband. But only two people knew
for certain what the real outcome was.
Posh Spice and Shania Twain give it their all
*See Classic Shania vs Madonna
BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO SHANIA TWAIN
TO THE SPICE GIRLS
FOLLOW Francesca Le TO PUBLIC DISGRACE!