THE ROAD TO
Jessica Simpson (56.2%) slams
Britney Spears (43.8%) "We are here for a historic contract signing". the booking committee's Marina Sartis announces in the middle of the ring with a table covered with a black table cloth and a leather folder containing a contract on top of it. "Britney Spears is a multiple time former champion. She is arguably the greatest competitor in the history of Stone Rage's league. She has always been a big part of our biggest card of the year, RAGE, and this year will be no exception. Please welcome Britney Spears to the ring!".
BRITNEY SPEARS VS JESSICA SIMPSON 2
Britney's classic hit, Hit Me One More Time plays as Britney prances to the ring. Britney is dressed in her typical current Instagram fashions of cut off blue jean shorts and a sleeveless tube top. The fans pop seeing their heroine in the flesh. She is confident and unapologetically Britney, as she graciously acknowledges her fans. Britney smiles and waves as she walks down and enters the ring to greet Marina Surtis.
"Britney, this has been a tumultuous year for you, but we are thrilled to have you back." Marina starts. "You were a huge part of the first two RAGE events. You're to RAGE as the Undertaker is to Wrestlemania. You've had show stealing matches against Shakira and Beyonce in the past. So I knew that I had to come up with another iconic opponent for you this time. This year we have a young pop star who has dominated the country and pop music scene like the greatest of the past have dominated in their prime. Today we are signing a contract for you to battle Taylor Swift at this year's RAGE III."
As Marina finishes the fans' attention is being diverted to a stacked blonde beginning to walk boldly from backstage to the ring. The murmur among the fans grows like a epidemic as most fans recognize the blonde as pop star Jessica Simpson. While causing a commotion, she walks to ringside, and up to the TV soundman, Sam. Jessica demands a microphone. The blonde has more than enough clout to get her demands met. Sam hands Jessica a microphone and then she enters the ring.
With all eyes upon her, Jessica walks the length of the ring while switching her sweet ass from side to side. Jessica stops and says, "Hi Britney! It's been a long time." Jessica begins. "Congratulations on you new found freedom. I'm sure that I speak for everyone here that we are happy that you have liberated yourself and have full control over your career." Jessica pauses for the audience to voice their approval of Jessica's statement. "I've been on a personal journey for freedom myself." Jessica confesses. "It took 2 years for me to buy back ownership of my Jessica Simpson fashion line, and I've released my first song in years independently on the internet without any record company or executives telling me what to do."
Jessica continues "Britney, our friendship has been up and down and adversarial since we were twelve years old. I chronicled this in my bestselling memoir, Open Book. This is the first time in about thirty years that we both can do whatever we want to do. I say you forget about this studio arranged commercial fight with Taylor Swift, and me and you get it on one more time. We fight it out one more time, then hug and kiss it out afterward." Jessica panders to the crowd, trying to win their support. Some voice their support, while others, frankly, would rather see Britney versus Taylor. Those fans view Jessica as a diminishing star, who is trying to cash in with Britney to regain her glory days.
Britney Spears looks around and reads the crowd's reaction. Jessica had significant reaction but not near enough to overturn a crazy huge money match with Taylor for a great money match with Jessica. At this point she no intentions of backing out of her match with Taylor Swift. "I'm honored that you want a want a match with me. Jessica." Britney begins. "I think that Britney Spears versus Jessica Simpson 2 is a great idea. I want to make it happen. But it will have to wait a little bit. I have an agreement to face Taylor Swift first." Britney pauses for a positive crowd reaction. "Then me and you can have a battle for the ages, Jessica."
Jessica stares at Britney after her offer is carelessly dismissed. Britney sees that Jessica is spurned so, she tries to help Jessica save a little face. Britney extends her hand for a handshake and says, "Next time?"
Jessica responds with a fairly friendly smile, then accepts Britney's hand and extends hers to shake Britney's hand. They shake hands at first, then Jessica jerks Britney towards her and then slams Britney across the jaw with a hard forearm shot. Britney goes down to the mat, as Jessica quips, "Just a little something to remember me by." Then Jessica turns and the pop star starts to strut out of the ring.
Britney looks up with a Mississippi fire burning in her eyes. Britney springs to her feet and charges after Jessica and tackles her from behind. They start wrestling and tussling and rolling around on the mat, as a good ol' southern rasslin' match breaks out. Britney and Jessica have death grips on each other’s blonde hair and are pulling and jerking harder with each tug. The two new age southern belles fight like cousins tearing into each other for first prize at the county fair.
Britney winds up on top. She is able to plant her feet and start to power up to standing. While rising, Britney brings Jessica in tow with two handfuls of blonde hair. Once on their feet, Jessica starts pumping uppercuts to Britney's chin. Next Jessica uses her thick, Daisy Duke thighs and pushes Britney back into the corner. Jessica starts driving her leg or specificity her thigh into Britney's bread basket. After several loud huffs, Britney loops her right fist around and down to crash into Jessica's jaw. The bomb drives Jessica back a couple of steps. Britney's left swoops in and follows. It sharply collides into her rivals jaw. Another left-right combination immediately follows, that all drives the stout buxom housewife backwards. "You're still Glass Jaw Jess!" Britney jokes.
Jessica leans into Britney to tie her up before another assault follows. Britney knocks Jessica's hands and arms aside. "Still predictable I see too." Britney says as she scoops Jessica up in her arms and body slams her rival to ring mat. Britney wears a confident borderline arrogant expression after predicting and foiling Jessica so effortlessly. The arrogance is evident as Britney moves and workman like continues her beat down of Jessica. Suitably, the arrogance is knocked out of Britney as Jessica's two feet rocket up and rams her in the boobs with a mule kick. The soles of Jessica’s feet sound off with a thump on Britney's chest. Britney makes a loud "Umph!" as her breasts are flattened and Britney sucks back to prevent all the breath from exiting her body as she reels backwards.
Jessica springs to her feet as fast as a forty year old with huge jugs could. Jessica takes a few strides toward Britney then launches herself in the air towards her with those big tits leading the way. Jessica crashes into Britney breast to breast, and squashes Britney like a bug with her tits. The results of Jessica's tit flop has Britney flat on her back with Jessica's breasts burying Britney's boobs and chest underneath. Jessica sits up on Britney's belly and pulls her own tank top off over her head. Jessica stretched the shirt to use as a garrote to press against Britney's throat to choke her. Predictably Britney gets her hands up to defend against being strangled. Jessica switches up and starts stuffing part of the tank top into Britney's mouth that's open and gasping for air.
Jessica stuffs a few inches of the fabric into Britney's mouth. Then she slams her tits that over stuffs her tiny black lace bra down on Britney's face. Britney tries to make a short yelp that is immediately smothered out. Britney immediately starts kicking and thrashing around with Jessica's breasts totally engulfing her face and completely cuts off her oxygen
supply. Britney knows instantly that she is in trouble. She had been breast smothered by Jessica's bigger tits plenty of times before. However that was long ago, before Jessica became a mother of three, and her breasts ballooned to mythical sizes. Britney fights like a wildcat to escape from underneath Jessica.
Jessica pins Britney's arms down with her hands, and she has her legs intertwined around Britney's thighs to keep the wild woman down. However is was not long before the Mississippi born, cornbread fed, Britney exerts her natural strength and rips one of her arms free. Britney immediately buries her fist into the side of Jessica's tit with a sharp punch. She harpoons Jessica's huge boob again in the side with another blast. She dislodges Jessica's breasts off of her face temporarily with her hard punches. Britney's fists made loud smacks into Jessica's breasts again with a couple more shots.
Britney uses her Mississippi strength to roll Jessica over off top of her and reverses positions to get on top off Jessica. Britney rips off a vengeful flurry of punches to Jessica's tits. Rising up like the Texas heat, Jessica's hands rise off the mat and seize Britney’s tits and engulf them in a sweltering squeeze. A quick adjustment and Jessica yanks down Britney's tube top and goes after her rivals naked breasts. Jessica's clutch and twists on Britney's breasts and takes her breath away like the blazing Texas sun. Immediately Britney retaliates by squishing Jessica's larger knockers, but she just cannot generate equal intensity and pain as her rival. Britney's attack fades away while Jessica grills Britney's busts with a devastating tit attack. Although Britney is in the dominant position of sitting on Jessica's chest, she is clearly the one in the pressure cooker. Jessica pulls Britney down toward her by grabbing her hooters and into a head butt. Their heads bonk together and Britney's eyes roll around in her head. After Jessica has baked Britney's breasts and taken her breath away, Jessica throws Britney off to the side from being seated on top of her like an empty husk.
Jessica gets to her feet strong and confidently. Britney stands less gracefully and coordinated. Jessica nonchalantly grabs her unsteady opponent's hair and bends her over into a knee lift. Britney's head rockets up and she falls over backwards. Britney is dazed and crawls away to get away from Jessica. She finds the table set up in the ring for the contract signing. Britney uses that table to help herself to her feet. Jessica magically appears behind Britney like a smiling vampire. Jessica grabs Britney by the back of her head and rears her back then slams her forehead into the table.
The fans 'oooh' in response to the hard impact. Jessica finds that Britney is more dazed and manageable after being slammed into the table. That makes it so easy and inviting for Jessica to do it again. Jessica slams Britney's head into the table and the audience starts counting along with her. After seven slams into the table Britney is out of it. Jessica holds Britney up by her blonde hair. Britney's arms dangle by her sides as she sways from side to side. Jessica turns Britney to face her then dips down and scoops Britney off of her feet. Britney is doubled up over at the waist over Jessica's right shoulder. Jessica gathers herself then tosses Britney off of her shoulder and slams Britney back first through the table.
Britney crashes through the table with a loud crack as the wood breaks in two. The Mississippi blonde went through the table cloth covered table like a hot knife going through butter. Britney's body rocks from side to side briefly as the pain surges through her body, then comes to rest in the mist of the rubble. She lies stretched out, completely done. It takes Jessica a couple of moments to realize that the fight is over and that she has finally beat Britney. Once it dawns on her. Jessica starts screaming and pumping her fist, then she celebrates her win.
Jessica climbs on the middle ropes and continues to celebrate with her fans. She is so exuberant that she had not noticed Taylor Swift jogging to the ring for some time. Taylor slides into the ring, then springs to her feet. She stands tensed and posed for action staring at Jessica from behind. Jessica senses her presence and hops down and turns to face who has entered the ring. Jessica asks the tall girl, "Do you want some too, string bean?" Jessica confidently goes after this new challenger.
As Jessica jogs toward Taylor, the tall girl jumps up and does a pump kick aimed at Jessica's head. At the last second, Jessica dodges to the side and slips the kick. Jessica travels on and bounds off the ropes and back at Taylor and runs into a spinning back kick by Taylor. The young singer's leg was like a strong tree branch as is spent around and wipes Jessica out. Jessica's feet go flying into the air and she is deposited onto the mat on the back of her head.
The audience pops loudly. They came to see a contract signing between Britney Spears and Taylor Swift. Jessica Simpson is the intruder in the proceedings, and now she is getting dealt with. Jessica gets back to her feet, obviously a little shaken by her movements. Jessica goes right back after Taylor. Jessica surprises everyone by grabbing Taylor's thighs and taking her down to the mat with a double leg take down. Once on the mat, Taylor's long legs spring up and lock around Jessica's head immediately to capture Jessica in a head scissors. Taylor whips her legs to the right and throws Jessica to the mat. Then Taylor flexes those long gams to give Jessica a quick taste of their power. She gets several squeals out of the big boobed blonde before releasing her and rolling to her feet.
Jessica gets up shortyly after Taylor and is greeted with a super kick that nearly takes her head off. Jessica limply falls back to the canvas. The fans go crazy seeing Jessica so dominant just a minute ago against Britney, and now she is getting dismantled in short order against Taylor. Taylor peels Jessica off of the mat and to her feet. Taylor quickly tucks Jessica's head under her arm and lifts her upside down into a suflex position. After holding Jessica upside down a while and parading her around the ring a bit, Taylor drops Jessica on the crown of her head, executing a devastating brain buster move. Jessica's body spikes into the mat and crumbles down like a dilapidated building.
Taylor goes to the other side of the ring and waits for Jessica's movement. When she finally sits up, Taylor charges toward her and blasts the blonde's flawless face with a running knee strike. Jessica's head snaps back and she falls over backwards, finished. Taylor pulls Jessica's compliant body off the mat again. Then with a grip on the back of her head and arm, Taylor tosses Jessica over the top rope to the arena floor.
Next Taylor goes to the wrecked table where Britney still lies. Taylor picks up the folder containing the contract and swiftly signs the last page. Taylor tosses the contract back on the wreckage and says. "I'll see you at RAGE III Britney." Then the Pop Princess prances out of the ring with a smile.
Britney Spears Versus Taylor Swift
BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO BRITNEY SPEARS
TO JESSICA SIMPSON
TO TAYLOR SWIFT