KIM KARDASHIAN vs BUFFIE THE BODY
"You've got to be fucking kidding me! After all that I've done?" Buffie exclaims as she stands in the notorious ABA board room. Buffie the Body defiantly stares at the women seated at the table. Those women are Demi Moore, Jenny McCarthy, Denise Richards, and Lucy Liu with her assistant, Chiaki Kuriyama standing behind the Asian boss. Buffie has just been informed that her request to become a 'made woman' in the ABA without making the standard 'hit' has been flatly denied.
"Sorry Buffster, not going to happen." Jenny sings back with elitist tone. "You've got to earn your position around here just like everyone else. This is not the Fab Four where you can be weak, and given everything."
"What about Lisa Lipps or Chiaki here?" Buffie challenges back.
"Lisa and Chiaki have earned their spot!" Demi snaps back, tired of Buffie's insolence. "Just ask Kelly Hu, Catherine Zeta Jones or Eva Mendes if Lisa has earned her spot. If you have a problem with Chiaki, I welcome you to go down stairs to the ring, and talk it over with her."
"In fact, If you were to defeat Chiaki and Lisa, I would be inclined to waive the hit rule for you." Lucy Liu offers.
Buffie looks at Chiaki who stares back at her with a truly evil, murderous yet mischievous smile. Something about it sent a chill down Buffie's spine, even though she glared back defiantly with her arms crossed her chest. Buffie did not like the idea of getting into the ring with this sick puppy, Chiaki, and chasing her around. The extremely petite woman may look like an easy victim, but Buffie knows that she is a lighting fast wrestler who can quickly put you in some weird tortuous Japanese wrestling hold. Then she loves to hear her foe scream, or a bone crack. Buffie definitely did not want to fight Lisa Lipps either. If the muscular Lisa beats her, she would spend the rest of the day and night lapping her pussy like a starving puppy. Buffie definitely is not into that type of thing either. Lisa does not beat people, she defeats them and breaks them spiritually. There had to be an easier way.
Buffie rolls her eyes, then huffs, "Fine, I'll make the hit." Buffie turns and walks out of the room. Buffie's body language clearly and purposely displayed her displeasure with their decision.
Lucy shakes her head as Buffie exits the room. "What a fucking bitch." she says.
"No she's a bad ass bitch, and she is going to make somebody pay for us pissing her off." Denise says with a smile. "I can't wait. She's perfect for us." Denise finishes, thinking about how she is going to recruit Buffie to be in her syndicate in the ABA.
Several hundred miles away a renowned photographer, Michel Pigeon, looks through his portfolio with displeasure. Technically his work is flawless, but personally it was far from fulfilling. Although the magazine editors raved about his work and he stayed in high demand, he has become jaded on many of his photo shoots. The tall slender gorgeous models started to look alike to him. Something was missing and he had no clue what it was.
He tried new models with the supposed, "different look". He went through several exotic beauties with unique features. It kept his interest for a while, but ultimately did not fill the void. Next, Michael tried full figured models. He found them intriguing. He tried several new ideas with them. He liked the direction, but knew that they were not the answer he was looking for. Michael came across a peculiar looking model named Amber Rose. She is a hauntingly alluring woman that defined the, "different look". Amber, better known as Kayne West's girlfriend, intrigued Michael. She is very shapely, with a cute butt. Michel loved her cute ass. He found an important clue on his journey.
Michael's agent, Paul LeDuc, found an opportunity for he and Michael to make a lot of money, and break him out of his funk at the same time. An European car magazine made an offer for Michael to shoot Kim Karsashian with some of their exotic cars. Paul thought this was perfect. First, he thought Kim was the model that Michael has been searching for all this time. She has the face of an angel, and a body built for sin. Paul knew Kim's curvy figure would drive Michael wild. He is sure Kim is the model that Michael has been searching for so long. Second, the photo shoot is in Atlanta Georgia. Although Michael has never visited the city, Paul has been their several times, and had a wonderful visit each time. The night life in the city is phenomenal. It is similar to New York and LA, but smaller with a down home, southern hospitality. Several celebrities are around, but the affairs are far less uppity, and more relaxed and informal. He knew Michael would have a great time on the town.
Michael arrived in Atlanta a couple of days prior to the shoot. Michael hit the town late night, and true to Paul's predictions, loved the city. Atlanta had a bold, brash honesty to it mixed with a Southern hospitality that Michael loved. The city seemed to say, "I don't know how you do it, but, yo dis is how we do it down here." For example, if you felt that a tomato red suit was "cool look" in the club, well thatís what I'm sporting. If you wanted to rock a jheri curl, thatís cool too. The city does not put on airs like many other places.
The brashness of the city turns out to be a piece in Michael's puzzle. That strength and, 'Don't give a damned what you think about me' attitude becomes a key component as he searches for his next photographical masterpiece.
The next day, the curvy Kim Kardashian shows up for the photo shoot. Michael, of course, had seen pictures of Kim, but never met her personally. The pictures did not do Kim justice, Michael was floored seeing Kim's sexy body in person. Kim has the bright beautiful face of the super models that Michael has grown so jaded with, but her figure is alarmingly different from the beanpole models. Kim's bodacious figure is set off by her especially large ass. It is an asset that Kim is proud of and boldly flaunts to the world. Michael thinks he has at long last found the final key to his puzzle.
Michael gets to know Kim, and they start discussing the photo shoot. First Michael learns that Kim is a genuinely nice person. Michael goes on to explain that she will be posing with a hot and sporty car, the 2010 Ferrari Scuderia Spider 16M. He wants an edge, a bold and brash, meanness to the shoot, to highlight the aggressiveness side of the trophy car. Michael chose a mysterious smoke grey car, instead of the canary yellow or cherry red cars. He wants attitude in this shoot. Kim happily agreed, and did her best to give the famous photographer some 'attitude'.
Kim wore a white string bikini for the shoot. She beamed like a beacon against the dark colored car. Kim gave Michael her version of the 'attitude' he asked for. Although it would have been more than sufficient for 90% of the photographers in the world, it did not please Michael. The perfectionist, photographer added a white fur shawl, to add a little more attitude to the sexy socialite. However Kim refused to wear real fur, choosing to be politically correct. Instead she wore a synthetic fur boa. It helped, but still did not give Michael the look and illusion he desired.
Michael could feel that he is closer to that dream shoot than ever, but could not reach it. Kim was close to capturing his vision for this sleek sports car, but not quite there. The big breasted model looked phenomenal. Something was still missing. The car looks like a fierce predator. Although Kim is giving a great performance and selling the look he is asking for, her eyes betray her. Kim is a sweet person, and her eyes convey that. Michael next asked Kim to wear dark shades for the rest of the shoot.
The sunglasses helped. Michael's diminutive model has more of an edge to her. "Diminutive" Michael thought. "The model should be taller." Michael realized as he analyzed his work. "Also Kim is too refined. She looks like she belongs with a Ferrari. I need somebody who looks like she is claiming the car as her own. Someone who desires the car and is willing to do whatever it takes to get what she wants. I don't need political correctness, but the opposite." Michael continues snapping photos as these thought go through his head. "One thing for sure, Kim's ass isn't politically correct." Michael concludes. "As long as I focus on her ass, it'll come close to what I need."
"Wonderful Kim. Now can I get you to turn around and take some shots with you leaning over the car?" Michael asks. Kim understands what her photographer wants. She has been asked this question thousands of times before. The beautiful brunette happily complies.
As the photo shoot drug on, Kim started to wonder if this photographer would ever let her turn around again for the remainder of the shoot. She is used to take many photos looking over her shoulder or a profile, to show off her phenomenal ass, but this is starting to annoy even her. However Michael is so renown in the industry, that she had to trust his judgment.
Suddenly a big dark figure speeds past Michael like a freight train. Michael is used to viewing the world through a camera's eye, so he kept on snapping pictures. Buffie the Body has just charged past Michael toward Kim. Poor Kim was leaning over the car, with her back to Buffie with her huge ass stuck out for another picture. The poor model is totally oblivious that Buffie has entered the scene. Buffie runs up behind Kim and seizes a handful of hair. Buffie draws Kim's head back before the socialite had a clue what was going on, and started slamming her face into the hood of the car. The first time Kim's head crashes into the hard metal, her shades dig into the bridge of her nose causing a searing pain. The next eight times, Kim took the impact with her forehead.
Buffie stops and hauls Kim upright by the handful of hair. Dazed Kim is swooning, and her knees are wobbly. Buffie turns Kim around to face her. Then very deliberately, the video vixen draws back her right fist and launches a right cross. Michael cringes hearing a loud crack as Buffie's fist slams into Kim's jaw, but he captured the picture. Kim's head snaps to the side, and her shades go flying across the room. It looked like a scene out of a Greatest KO's dvd. Kim crumples to the side then tumbles over face first to the floor.
A couple of Michael's assistants rush to the set to break up the attack, but Michael orders, "No! Stop! Let them fight!" Michael then mutters under his breath, "She's amazing."
As Buffie looms over Kim, Michael gets his first chance to get a good look at Buffie the Body. At first he could not believe his eyes. He never dreamed that a woman was actually put together like Buffie. Of course he could not but help but to first notice her enormous ass. Kim's ass is humongous, but Buffie's is gargantuan. Her ass looked liked two beach balls stuffed in her pants. Unlike his full figured models, Buffie's waist is trim and a flat, taunt stomach with defined abdomen muscles. Buffie is a statuesque beauty that commands attention, and respect. Something about her tells the viewer that she is one of a kind and nothing exactly like her is coming again anytime soon. Buffie stands over Kim like a Nubian Amazon hunter looking at her prey. Kim never had a chance. Buffie attacked when her back was turned. She never saw it coming. Buffie's assault was cold and calculated. "Poor girl" Michael thought. "I don't know what she did to deserve this, but I'm glad I'm not in her shoes."
Kim pushes her chest off the ground slowly. She groggily mutters, "Buffie?" as she tries to regain her senses after what Jennifer Lopez will later describe as "a punk ass ambush."
"She straight up stole my girl." Jennifer would say in a later interview. "Buffie jumped Kim like a punk" Jennifer spits. "Kim never had a chance. That's the dirty type of shit that the ABA does."
Seeing Kim starting to rise, Buffie viciously stomps down on the back of Kim's head. The socialite's face crashes back into the ground. Next Buffie grabs a handful of hair on the back of Kim's head, and a grip on the back of Kim's overstuffed bikini top to haul the woozy girl to her feet. Once Kim is standing, Buffie pushes her back against the car. Buffie draws her right fist back and launches it into Kim's soft belly. The fist harpoon's Kim, making her hop with a loud "Ooomph!" on impact, then double over.
After eight more impaling blows from Buffie, Kim slumps forward and starts sinking to the ground. Buffie catches Kim as she falls and wraps both arms around her body. Buffie hoists Kim off her feet as she squeezes. Kim howls loudly feeling the might of Buffie's bear hug.
Michael's eyes widens as he continuously snaps photos. "Incredible." he mutters aloud. "She's crushing the little one with her bare hands. I have never seen a woman who emanates such strength and power. She is phenomenal."
Kim is grimacing with clenched teeth and flailing her arms and legs in Buffie's grasp. Shortly, she regains a little awareness and begins to fight back more effectively. Kim starts pawing and clawing at Buffie's face. Kim tries to dig her fingers into Buffie's eyes to make her release the bear hug. Buffie squints her eyes and holds on with a dogged determination. Kim feels like she is about to pop open and her guts are about to spill out. She bats Buffie's head, but she is held so close, that she cannot get any power behind her blows. Kim tries to push Buffie away to get enough room to take a breath. Kim is able to take a quick sip, but that only seems to severely piss Buffie off.
Kim's fingers to the eyes almost make Buffie lose her grip. She knows that she may never get a better chance to perform a hit and become a made woman in the ABA. Buffie frequents Atlanta, and caught the tip through her contacts that Kim Kardashian would be in town, also when and where. Although she has been associated with the ABA before, she doubted Kim or anyone else would have expected something like this. A botched hit would make another attempt much more difficult. It would make people think that she is not ready for "the big leagues". Buffie has achieved a lot since rising out of a strip club in South Carolina to being the top hip hop model in the industry. She is actually a pioneer in the field. Her phenomenal assets transformed nameless, faceless video models from being momentary objects of desire in hip hop music videos, to being household names to big booty lovers worldwide. Buffie has grown from the covers of magazines to magazines dedicated totally to her, along with a website that generates tens of thousands of dollars monthly. She has movies roles like Big Booty Trudy in ATL, a workout video, Bootynomics, and a book about being a video Icon. She is admired by young girls for redefining beauty and proving being bootylicious is not a bad thing, but wonderful thing. Next on her agenda, is a move more into mainstream media with the help of the ABA.
Buffie is not about to let this opportunity slip through her hands, literally by allowing Kim is slip out of this bear hug. She redoubles her effort to crush her victim. Buffie sees greater distress registering on Kim's face. To combat the fingers in the face, Buffie slings Kim from left to right. The whipping movement makes it too hard for Kim to keep clawing at her tormentor. Buffie violently wrings her victim from left to right. Shortly Kim's arms and legs are flopping around as she loses control in Buffie's crushing clutches. Kim is like a rag doll who's limbs are flopping everywhere.
Seeing that she has squeezed the fight out of Kim, Buffie tosses her near limp body on the car's hood. The breathless beauty lands on the hood with a loud bonk. Kim lies dizzy and woozy from this sneak attack that Tia will later describe to the press as, "A cowardly and disgraceful act. Buffie shows no honor attacking a competitor when her back is turned and defenseless, but she'll get hers. That kind of ilk always does."
Buffie rolls Kim onto her stomach. She has no problem pulling and untying the strings holding Kim's white bikini top in place, then jerking the skimpy garment off her body. Buffie tosses the top aside, and climbs onto the hood of the car with Kim. Buffie repositions Kim on the hood, moving her up till her tits are lying on the car's windshield. Buffie mounts Kim from behind and starts a series of punishing kidney punches.
Brilliantly, Michael races to the car and leaps over the door into the interior of the roofless convertible car. The photographer aims his lens at Kim's breasts smashed against the other side of the windshield. Being seated in the driver's seat gives Michael a superior and unique view of Kim's fantastic rack. Meanwhile Kim is screaming bloody murder as Buffie pepper her back with an endless supply of fist. Michael stands in the driver's seat to capture all angles of Kim's destruction.
"Wild! Amazing!" Michael says loudly "More! I need more!" At first Buffie is confused by the renown photographer's reaction, but she needs the camera present to prove her hit. Buffie allows Kim to slide down the glass a bit until Kim's face is against the windshield. Buffie pushes Kim's face against the glass by the back of her head, and resumes pounding Kim's spine and the back of her neck.
The next series of photos will earn Michael awards. He settles back in the driver's seat and snaps pictures of Kim's gorgeous face pressed against the glass. Kim's face told the whole story. She wore a mask of terror, pain and agony as Buffie beat her like a drum. Other pics reflected her helplessness, hopelessness and defeat. The photos were eerily fascinating.
Halle Berry will later describe the pictures as, "Shameful. It's a shame that Big Bad Booty Buffie had to resort to a straight up ambush to get Kim. Buffie bushwhacked Kim from behind because she is not woman enough to fight her face to face." The pissed off vixen continued, "And screw that jack ass photographer for taking pictures of Kim in that position instead of helping her. He's no better than Buffie."
After pounding Kim's guts out, Buffie shoves her quarry off the car. Kim rolls off the hood and lands with a splat on the ground. Kim curls into fetal position and starts loudly sobbing.
Mindful of the man with the camera that is so captivated by her curves, Buffie slinks off of the hood after Kim. The video vixen pauses, and slowly takes off her top, posing for the camera as she does. Buffie runs her fingers through her hair afterwards to re-fluff her curls, and tease Michael. Next Buffie pushes her jump suit pants past her enormous hips and down her chocolate thighs. Buffie steps out of the pants wearing only a pink bra and panty set. She can almost hear Michael's penis go 'boing' looking at her unique figure. Buffie already thinks the man is a Cyclops, since she only sees him with one eye, the camera's lens that covers his face constantly.
Buffie returns her attention to Kim. Buffie drops to the ground, and forces Kim over onto her belly. With her victim lying face down, Buffie sits on her back. The dominant beauty jerks Kim's bikini bottoms up, to give her a wedgie, and shows more flesh. Kim's massive ass hungrily eats the fabric, making it disappear between her ass cheeks. Finally Buffie starts giving Kim a scathing spanking.
Michael laughs at first. Then quickly calls to his assistant for another type of camera. Within seconds, Michael is equipped with another camera and continues snapping pictures. This camera takes action photos, and slows then down. So now Michael actually captures Buffie's hand splattering Kim's soft ass, parting it like a hand striking water. It also catches the ripples from the shock waves that travel through Kim's ass, and down to her thick thighs.
Kim blubbers harder. Buffie laughs tauntingly. "I don't think I've ever heard a Fab Four shit cry like this. I guess I better ger used to it since I'm gonna be a made woman in the new ABA." Buffie says as she brings her hand up higher, and slams down harder on Kim's juicy ass.
"Buffie, you bitch!" the crying woman slobbers out. "I'll get you for this! I promise! I will fucking get you for this!"
Buffie smacks her lips in annoyance from Kim's threat. She rolls Kim over onto her back then positions her ass over Kim's face. Kim barely has time to protest, "No! Don't! No" before Buffie's ass comes down on her face. Buffie's notorious ass totally covers Kim's head. The only thing that is heard is several muffled screams an a lot more sobbing. A couple of minutes later, nothing is heard. Kim stops moving. To past the time until that happened, Buffie entertained herself by playing with Kim's big tits. She smacked them around and pinches them like massive stress relief balls.
Now that her hunt is complete, Buffie rises and stands over her quarry. Michael furiously snaps pictures of the mighty hunter. Indulging herself in some personal gratification, Buffie reaches down and grabs a handful of Kim's long, silky black hair. Buffie lifts Kim's lymphatic torso up and presses Kim's full lips against her perfect ass. "Get a picture of this." Buffie demands to Michael. He snaps several pics of Kim seemingly kissing Buffie's ass.
Buffie releases Kim's hair, allowing her to flop back to the ground, and steps away. Michael steps over Kim snapping pictures of the brutally defeated, unconscious woman splayed out before him. Michael takes a look up and seeing Buffie walking away. At first he is speechless, seeing Buffie's mind boggling ass bouncing up and down as she walked, contained only in a skimpy pair of lacey pink panties. "Mademoiselle.... please wait! Don't go!" Michael finally stammers. "I need a model to finish this shoot. Please come back! Urrrr I'll pay you double..... uh, no triple of what I was paying this one." Michael pleads. Buffie stops in her tracks, and her eyes light up. She was stopping at equal pay to the most famous Kardashian, but double and triple pay certainly got her attention. Buffie spins around and struts back toward Michael. "Please get this gorgeous woman some make up." Michael orders. "Somebody clean up this mess!" pointing down at Kim's wrecked body.
Michael's staff leaps to his orders. A makeup artist is in front of Buffie in seconds and dabbing powder on her sweaty face. Another attends Buffie, providing her with a glass of water and adjusting her clothing.
While they treat Buffie like a queen, Kim received the opposite. An assistant drags Kim's body away and back to her dressing room. Once she woke up they hurriedly helped her dress, and shoved her in the back of a limo with an ice bag, telling her to check out the hotel in the morning, they were not paying for another day.
Buffie completed the shoot, wearing just her pink bra and panty set. She was Michael's dream. Buffie was big bold and voluptuous. She epitomized the strength and aggressiveness that said, "I'm taking this Ferrari, it's mine! I want it and there's nothing that you can do to stop me!" It is an attitude prevalent in the city of Atlanta, and definitely the epitome of the original spirit of the ABA.
Pam Anderson commented, "The ABA is back up to its old tricks. Now they are getting other to jump people, ambushes, lies and dirty tricks. I'm letting Buffie, the ABA and anybody looking become this 'made woman' the Fab Four won't tolerate this. We kicked the ABA's ass last time, and we'll do it again." Pam said the words definitely and solemnly. However she well remembers that during the ABA's initial reign of terror under Alyssa Milano and Christina Applegate, that the ABA whipped the Fab Four's ass regularly and often before the Fab Four were able to turn the tide.
Pam's words as well as Jenifer's, Halle's, and Tia's comments were all shown on the Stone Rage DVD of Kim's destruction. As is frequent at today's photo shoots, Michael had video cameras rolling on set for a later documentary on the shoot. Kim was reluctant to sign the release out of embarrassment, but the paycheck was too big to pass up.
Michael and Buffie spent a couple extra days in Atlanta together. Michael was pleased, actually ecstatic about the results of the shoot. He set up another shoot with Buffie to complete that dream shot. He spent the entire time wining and dining his new favorite model and getting to know her better. Biffie proved to be every bit the woman he thought she was. She is strong minded, determined, bold and sassy.
Three days later, Buffie travels back to the ABA headquarters for a ceremony inducting Buffie the Body as a made woman in the ABA. Jenny McCarthy, Lucy Liu, Denise Richards and Demi Moore are in a dimly lit room. All the ABA members are dressed attractively in business suites.
"Buffie...." Jenny starts almost subconsciously sounding like Marlo Brando in The Godfather. "You have preformed a favor for the ABA. You've executed a hit on Kim Kardashian, crushing a member of the Fab Four, the arch nemesis of the ABA. Your execution was flawless and brutal, a true credit to our organization. You did us a tremendous favor, and the ABA will now show our appreciation."
Jenny says as she gestures for Buffie to come forward. Jenny takes Buffie's index finger and pricks it with a pin. The blonde squeezes the finger, causing the blood to ooze out. Jenny takes Buffie's finger, and smears blood on a picture of the original four members of the ABA. Jenny hands Buffie the picture. As Buffie holds the photo in her hands, Jenny takes a lighter and sets the picture on fire.
"Buffie the Body" Jenny says. "You are now a soldier in the ABA family. You enjoy our favor, our protection, and our promotional assistance. Our home is your home. Our facility and training staff is at your disposal. If you betray the ABA, your flesh will burn like these saints." Jenny says looking down at the burning picture.
"Now kiss the ring and swear your loyalty to the ABA." Jenny says offering her hand, with a large gold ring on it. Buffie drops the photo, and kneels before Jenny and kisses her ring. Next she kisses the rings on Denise, Lucy and Demi's hand too. Buffie rises and is presented with a metal piece of jewelry with the letters ABA embossed on it. "Buffie The Body, welcome to the ABA family." Jenny proudly announces.
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