Dirty Politics
GOLD EXPERIENCE II
vs
- CATHERINE ZETA JONES VS ELIZABETH HURLEY -



In the days following RAGE! things turned chaotic. To recap recent events, in the main event of RAGE! The Resistance's Jennifer Aniston and Jada Pinkett won a controversial Unconditional Surrender match against the booking committee's Pam Grier and Lynda Carter. The terms of that match stated the booking committee must submit to any conditions the Resistanst instates. First they named Christina Applegate as the new committee chairman. Second, there will be an election for the other four positions. Only winners of matches for the next few events will vote for the new booking committee. Immediately the candidates for the committee started campaigning with the celebrities in the league, and started making deals and promises of what they would do once elected.

Ever since losing their Unconditional Surrender match to the Resistance, the booking committee's personal items were removed out of their luxurious offices and placed in a small room on the buildings' bottom level. All four women go about their daily duties in one cramped room where all four women coexist in close cluttered space, bumping into each other routinely.

The new committee chairman, Christina Applegate, is using the old committee members to execute the every daily business functions of the committee while she is rarely present. Christina comes through from time to time and barks orders, and complains about the committee's progress. According to their contract, the members have to complete the business side of the elections until the new committee is completed. If they are lucky enough to win one of the four spots they regain their plush office upstairs. Meanwhile Christina is exempt from the election.

All of the members of the old committee are hating their job right now. Being held under the terms of their contract, Loni Anderson, Pam Grier, Lynda Carter and Raquel Welch face stiff penalties and fines if they quit, or are fired with cause. None of them are willing to take that economic hit. Despite the uncomfortable working conditions, they must campaign for votes themselves. At the same time they have to do practically all the work for booking GOLD EXPERIENCE II without their normal support staff, and while listening to Christina's constant bitching.

One woman who is tired of going to Star Trek conventions and is aggressively seeking a new job on the booking committee is Marina Sartis. The woman famous for playing Deanna Troi in Star Trek: The Next Generation quickly developed and executed a plan to put herself on the committee.

Marina tracked down Catherine Zeta Jones for a meeting. Marina started her sales pitch to the former champion. "Catherine you can still be a force in this league, despite some disappointing performances over the last few years. However, you need someone on the booking committee making matches that are in your best interest. I saw your match at RAGE! with Lucy Liu. That was a bad match up for you. Speedy wrestlers give you trouble. The current booking committee knew that, but they're only trying to please the ABA, and sacrificing your career in the process." Catherine slowed and her attention was just captured. "You match up much better against Salma Hayek, Halle Berry, Angie Everhart, Angelina Jolie, Teri Hatcher, Elizabeth Hurley people that you can over power. The present committee won't put you in matches like that, because you will win, and mess up their marketing scheme. They are cashing in on you name, and notoriety and sacrificing you in the process. If I get on the committee, I promise to put you in matches that fit you and work to your advantage."

Catherine had a slight grin listening to Marina's proposal. She already wanted to get a match and have a vote in the new committee. Especially with her old enemy, Christina Applegate, taking control of the committee, Catherine new she needs a voice on the committee. Catherine and Christina have been enemies for almost 10 years now. Vindictive Christina will undoubtedly use her new position to make Catherine's existence in the league next to impossible. She really enjoyed the huge check she received for competing at RAGE! She was also looking forward to cashing in on a few more matches this year for more big paydays. "Marina I like what you have to say. If you can get me a match, you'll have my vote" Catherine answers.

Elsewhere, Elizabeth Hurley is meeting with her business manager. "Liz this is the perfect time for you to make a return to catfighting." he explains. "Especially now that you've got that new role in Gossip Girls, its time to cash in on our success. I've got an idea. I can book you into a match with Catherine Zeta Jones. She's a has been, practically a jobber, and you've never liked her. This will be the most anticipated celebrity catfight in the United Kingdom ever! What do you say?"

A few days later Catherine Zeta Jones is in another meeting with another hopeful candidate for the booking committee, Lucy Lawless. "Catherine, I'm the person you need on the committee. I can protect your interest on the committee. I can stand up to Christina Applegate. I'm still young, I can handle Christina anyway necessary. I'm not an old woman like Pam Grier or Lynda Carter. I can get it done in the ring against Christina if necessary." Catherine carefully considers these words. Of course this whole mess was started because Pam Grier and Lynda Carter could not get it done in the ring against Jennifer Aniston and Jada Pinkett Smith.

"One more thing" Lucy adds. "It's time to bring the old Cat the Crippler back. Ten years ago, you were vicious, a killer. What happened to the woman that carved up Salma Hayek? What happened to the Catherine that was breaking Christina Applegate's arms and legs? Aren't you tired of losing? You just loss to itty bitty Lucy Liu, then was attacked by Bai Ling. They don't respect you no more. Allow me to bring the warrior back, and they will tremble and fear you again!"

Catherine nods in agreement. She feels like Lucy knows how to build catfighters. Catherine thinks Lucy Lawless would be great on the booking committee.

Elsewhere Loni Anderson talks with Elizabeth Hurley's manager. "Is the deal in place?"

"Yes" the manager answers. "The producers of Gossip Girl are sponsoring the event. They are giving Liz a huge bonus to compete in the match. They think it will give the show a huge ratings boost now that Liz is part of the cast."

"Are you sure Liz is up for the match? She hasn't fought in about 10 years." Loni asks.

"No doubt" The man confidently responds. "Liz has been calling Catherine a pompous cunt for years now. She'll be ready to back up a lot of insults over the years." The manager adds, "Besides there is a butt load of cash on the line."

"Great!" Loni says, "Just make sure she votes for me, Pam, Raquel and Lynda!"

When all is said and done, and the deals were made, several facts remained true. Liz and Catherine really do not like each other. They have not said a kind word about each other in over 10 years. Each think the other is pompous, arrogant and classless. It is clearly a matter of pride. Neither is interested in simply beating the other, they want to break their rival.

Match night both women enter the ring with that goal in mind. Liz comes to the ring first wearing a red bikini from her designer collection. Liz is simply breathtaking. She practically floats to the ring with her shoulders back and exuding sophistication. Her long, shapely legs carry Liz to the ring with unbelievable grace. Liz's breast are pushed up and contained in her red bikini top looking like a pair of ripe cantaloupes. Her immaculate brown hair cascade over her shoulders with the tips bouncing and tickling the cantaloupe size tits. She is winning fans just by her classy demeanor and elegant appearance. Liz looks more like a dream or a fantasy woman constructed from an imagination than an actual human being.

Although she is more than capable of matching or exceeding Liz in sexiness, Catherine did not attempt to outshine her rival. Heeding the advice of Lucy Lawless and Marina Sartis, she is intent on returning to the old Catherine Zeta Jones; the championship Catherine Zeta Jones. She is wearing a scowl, and entering the ring with the intention of over powering then brutalizing the bitch. Catherine wears a black one piece swimsuit type outfit, and is obviously ready to rumble.

Finally the bell sounds and the opening match of the GOLD EXPERIENCE II begins. Liz and Catherine lock up collar and elbow pushing against each other. Liz has some success moving Catherine back until Catherine explodes with a burst of strength and shoves Liz hard to the canvas.

Liz was obviously embarrassed at being knocked over by Catherine like a small child. Liz vigorously leaps to her feet and charges at Catherine obviously upset. Liz quickly wrangles Catherine is a side head lock. Catherine fires a series of elbows into Liz's side and midsection to loosen the arms trapping her head. Once Liz's vice lock lessens, Catherine shoves Liz off of her and sends her running into the ropes. Liz bounds off the ropes and immediately rebounds back at her adversary. Catherine surges forward and plows over Liz with a shoulder block, and knocks Liz to the mat.

"Get up slug!" Catherine spews down at Liz. "I'm not through knocking you down!" Liz growls and springs to her feet. Liz raises her long slender arms above her head, challenging Catherine to a test of strength. Catherine has already been exhibited her superior strength so she eagerly raises her hands and accepts the challenge.

After the gladiators lock their fingers together, Liz's foot rockets up and kicks Catherine in the gut. Catherine bellows and doubles over holding her stomach. Liz grabs Catherine around the head and shoulders and takes her down to the mat, while at the same time grapevine her legs around Catherine's legs. Catherine finds her shoulders on the mat in a small package pin attempt, and the referee is already counting. Terror of yet another loss and another disappointing and embarrassing performance grips Catherine's heart, and she kicks out before the three count.

Both women scramble to their feet. Catherine wears a frantic expression, Liz gets a small smirk seeing Catherine rattled. Liz has absolutely no time to enjoy her minor success, Catherine is already on the attack with a fist headed toward Liz's head. Liz ducks under the haymaker trying to take her head off. Catherine whizzes past, then Liz strikes. Liz rocks Catherine with a forearm blast to Catherine's jaw. Catherine is rocked and wobbles stunned into the ropes. Catherine bounces off the ropes and walks into Liz's knee driving into her belly.

Catherine heaves and doubles over clutching her stomach with both arms tightly. Liz takes her wobbly opponent's arm and whips her across the ring and into the corner. Catherine goes crashing back first into the hard turnbuckle. A moment later Liz comes charging in. Instinctively Catherine moves out of the way. Liz stampeded into the empty corner, missing almost everything. Liz's shoulder slides between the top and middle corner turnbuckles goes clear through and smashes into the unforgiving iron ring post.

Liz hangs on the middle turnbuckle feeling the intense pain in her shoulder. Catherine cannot miss this opportunity. She slides out of the ring onto the floor where Liz is hanging above. First Catherine grabs Liz's injured limb and starts jerking and yanking the arm, trying to pull it out of its socket. "I'm Cat the Crippler bitch!" Catherine shouts. "I'll break your arm off and beat you with it!" Then Catherine starts slamming Liz's arm into the corner post.

Liz pulls her arm back and falls off the turnbuckle and falls to the mat. Catherine smiles sadistically and re-enters the ring. Catherine has always taken much enjoyment and pride in not beating, but injuring her opponents. With a fiendish smile, Catherine looks down at Liz lying on the canvas, while holding her arm. Catherine snatches the hurting arm and spreads it out on the mat. Catherine proceeds to stomp on Liz's arm while keeping it trapped under her other foot. Then Catherine leaps in the air to drive her knee into Liz's arm. Liz moves her arm out of the way, allowing Catherine to awkwardly and painfully crash to the mat.

Catherine falls back to a seated position, clutching her knee and howling. Meanwhile, Liz wheels her foot up and kicks Catherine in the mouth. "Shut up skank!" Liz dramatically adds.

The two 5'8" actresses are rising to their feet, although Liz appears to have a little more vigor. Once standing, Liz strikes first with a foot to Catherine's stomach. Catherine doubles over holding her belly. Liz then punts Catherine in the face like playing football, and straightens Catherine up. As Catherine sways with googol eyes, Liz bounds into the ropes and comes charging into Catherine with a clothesline that knocks Catherine off her feet. Catherine lies on her back looking up at the lights and trying to gather her whits. Liz comes bounding off the ropes again, and this time launches herself in the air and comes crashing down on Catherine's chest. Next Liz hooks Catherine's leg and goes for the pin. Catherine kicks out at the two count.

Both ladies, especially Catherine slowly rise to their feet. Liz is standing as Catherine uses the ropes to help pull herself erect. When she is almost standing, Liz's foot comes banging into Catherine's side with a thunderous boom. Catherine cringes to the side where the sudden pain just erupted. Immediately Catherine has to jerk to the other side as Liz's foot slams into that side. Soon Catherine is jerking from side to side as a flurry of Liz's kicks come alternating in on either side. Finally a nasty two handed hair pull rips Catherine off of her feet and slams her to her back on the canvas.

Fans raise their eye brows in surprise as Liz shows a more vicious side with her nasty hair pull. With a mocking laugh, Liz says, "Cat the Crippler? More like Cat the Fat over the last 6 years."

With a smile almost as sadistic as Catherine wears, Liz reaches down for her prey. As she does Catherine lashes out with her feet, and does a leg sweep, knocking Liz's feet out from under her. Liz falls flat on her face. Catherine immediately grabs Liz's hair and starts slamming Liz's face into the mat repeatedly.

"How dare you call me fat, you toad!" Catherine screams. The fat comment lit a fuse in Catherine. She knows that she is not fat because Catherine spends several hours daily in front of her mirror admiring her figure and form. Catherine keeps slamming Liz's face into the canvas. In fact, the fat comment sent Catherine over the edge. She kept slamming Liz's face into the mat countless times. It was like the mat was a huge drum and Liz's face was a mallet and Catherine is playing a drum solo.

Catherine stands and is still rampaging. She roars and shouts "Get up skank! I'll tear you from limb from limb!" Liz has been beaten senseless. Instinctively Liz tries to get back to her feet. She is totally dazed and takes a long time to pull her body up to two wobbly legs. Liz has a confused and hurt as she lifts her head and brushes away her long brown hair to see around her. Liz does a dazed, wobble and stumble, trying to figure out where she is.

Catherine roars and charges at Liz. Catherine leaps in the air and tackles Liz to the canvas. Catherine easily flattens the bewildered actress down and sits on Liz's chest. Next Catherine unleashes a two fisted flurry of hell on Liz's face. Fist after fist rains down on Liz's face like a drenching rain. The already muddled beauty is overwhelmed. Liz just lies there defenselessly under the merciless assault. After a little over a minute, Catherine's arms ache and her knuckles are throbbing. At that point she stops and rises to her feet.

Catherine shakes out her tired arms, trying to get some life back into them. Liz lies trying to sober up from her punch drunk daze. Liz's face is numb and her brains are scrambled. Even in this vegetated state, Liz realizes that she is still in a fight with Catherine. Her brain desperately tries to restore the connections between itself and her body. The process is fueled by Liz's will power. It is not by the will of preservation or to avoid pain, but motivated by revenge. Liz is desperate to complete this task before Catherine can regain her strength. By being left alone for so long Liz's brain concludes, "The idiot bitch has punched herself out." Liz's loathing of Catherine is soaring by every second. Liz's will power will not be denied, it slowly starts to command Liz's brain and body work in unison and rise against Catherine.

Liz stirs and sits up, then presses her palms on the mat to push herself up to her feet. At that moment, Catherine's two strong hands wrap themselves around Liz's neck and start choking her. Immediately Liz's hands try to pry Catherine's hands from her neck. The referee comes over and orders Catherine to release Liz. Catherine is strangling Liz with all the strength she can muster. "Fine!" Catherine spits back.

Despite saying she would comply, Catherine continues choking Liz "Cut it out Catherine! You know better!" the referee loudly admonishes. "Break that choke!" he yells. Catherine again agreed to break but made no move to release Liz. The referee understood that Catherine was just stalling to choke Liz longer. He started a five count demanding the break or face disqualification. At the last moment before five, Catherine releases Liz only for the briefest of moments then reapplies the choke. Liz only had time to make a quick gasp of breath before Catherine started choking her again.

Catherine is shaking Liz back and forth like a rag doll. The referee immediately restarts the count. Maintaining the choke right up to the instant before he said "five!", Catherine again releases her choke hold. This time the referee physically intervenes and grabs Catherine's wrist, preventing them from reapplying the choke hold, and physically forces Catherine away from her victim.

The referee is furious. He is in Catherine's face reading her the riot act. Catherine wears a scowl and responds with a few choice words. The referee threatens and wants to disqualify Catherine, but he knows management would look unfavorably on him. They want the combatants to determine the results, not the officials.

The referee breaks off his argument with Catherine and looks back at Liz. She is lying, curled up on her side on the mat and not moving. The referee goes and kneels beside Liz. "Liz, are you okay? Can you continue the match?" he asks gently checking on her. He then realizes that Liz is unconscious. He takes a deep breath realizing that Catherine's treachery has been successful.

Dutifully the referee lifts Liz's arm off the mat and watches it fall lifelessly back to the canvas. He raises Liz's arm again and watches the limp limb fall back down. He raises Liz's arm for a third and final time. The arm drops like a rock. The referee springs to his feet and calls for the bell to end the match. The referee goes over to Catherine and raises her hand in victory. Catherine strikes a sexy pose, putting more weight on one leg and jutting her hips to the side. Then she releases a loud mocking laugh. She knows the referee hates raising her arm in these circumstances. The laugh just made this experience worst for him.

Catherine leaves the ring, and hugs and kisses her husband seated in the front row. Mean while the referee attends to Liz. During the brief exchange Catherine's husband hands her a pair of hand cuffs. Catherine then returns to the ring. "Ohh mister referee!!" Catherine sings beckoning him to come to her. The man looks at her for a moment, while trying to hide his disgust. He walks toward Catherine. Once he gets close, Catherine clocks the official over the head with her fist enhanced by the hand cuffs wrapped around them like brass knuckles. The unsuspecting referee goes down like a ton of bricks. "Nobody speaks to me like that and gets away with it." Catherine spits as she kicks the man under the bottom ropes and out of the ring.

Next Catherine turns her attention to Liz. She has awakening from her sleep, but lying on the mat coughing and gagging while trying to collect her wits. Catherine comes over and roughly hauls Liz to her feet with a handful of hair. Then Catherine shoves Liz back into the corner. Catherine is on Liz in an instant with a jolting elbow driven to Liz's chin. Catherine forces Liz's arms over the top ropes then behind Liz's back. There Catherine slaps her hand cuffs around Liz's wrist. Liz is trapped in the corner and defenseless with her hands cuffed behind her back.

"Now Miz Hurley, let's see if I can make you remember the name, Catherine Zeta Jones aka Cat the Crippler." Catherine taunts then kicks Liz in the belly. Three more kicks follow until the already breathless victim has lost most of her breath. Then Catherine locates the clips keeping Liz's bikini top in place and unclasps them and removes the top in a moment. Next Catherine slides Liz's bikini bottoms down her long slender shapely legs. Catherine tosses Liz's bikini out of the ring. Liz's foot flashes up and tries to kick Catherine but misses. Catherine repays Liz with a very hard fist driven into the pit of her stomach.

Catherine cannot help but laugh, knowing what she has in store for Liz. Catherine opens a quick flurry to Liz's belly, and finishes with an uppercut to Liz's chin. Next Catherine lifts Liz's left leg and drapes it over the middle rope, Catherine then quickly drapes Liz's right leg over the middle rope. Now Liz is trapped seated in the corner with her legs spread wide open.

Catherine takes a step back, then drives fist after fist into Liz's pubic mound. Catherine's fists make meaty smacks as she pulverizes Liz's cunt. Liz yelps and barks at each bone chilling punch. "You... Ung! Ung! Ung! Fucking bitch! I'm going to get you for this!" Liz threatens through cries of pain. Liz sounded like she was fighting back tears as her voice cracked with each word.

"No you won't" Catherine coolly answers, "Because you are simply no Catherine Zeta Jones!" Catherine finishes and completes her pussy pounding with an upper cut to Liz's jaw. Liz's head snaps back violently then falls forward and her body goes limp. Catherine releases another sadistic laugh. The crowd have been booing and jeering her ever since the match ended. Catherine does not care. They and everybody else is learning to respect and fear her again. Catherine cackles and exits out of the ring.

Catherine leaves Liz in the ring. Her head is bowed with her brown hair cascading down and covering her face. She is seated on the middle turnbuckle with her legs spread wide open and her hands handcuffed behind her back. Also she is totally stark naked. The camera zooms in capturing lasting images of the match and the night. It immortalizes images of a neatly trimmed pussy that was just pounded. Liz's sweaty plump breasts are canonized as the slowly rise and fall. No one could forget the battered yet drop dead gorgeous woman chained and defeated in the corner.

High above Liz's manager and the network executives from Gossip Girl look down at their girl from the VIP suite. All of them have already been drinking and partying for several hours. "Ahh our girl loss." One executive says while the others are still heartily partying and flirting heavily with the gorgeous young ladies partying in the luxury suite with them.

"Who cares" Liz's manager answers as he taps and move his finger across his Ipad tablet. "We are trending worldwide!" he proudly announces. "Liz is in the top 4 tweets in the world right now, and everybody is talking about how hot, sexy and gorgeous she looks! Tonight is a success!"

"I don't know. She looks pretty beat up right now." Another executive adds.

"Aww, she's fine" the manager dismissively answers. "If I know Liz she'll be mad as hell and ready to get in the ring again looking for revenge tomorrow. I'd like to propose a toast gentleman! To success and Gossip Girls!"

At the end of the night Catherine contemplates the events of the night. She looks around her dressing room, and sees the gold diamond and ruby studded bracelet that she receives for winning a match on the GOLD EXPERIENCE II. The bracelet is sitting beside the ballot she also received to vote on the new booking committee. Catherine carefully reads through all the names on the list. She knows the names that will get her vote. She knows the people who will look out for her best interest. "Lucy Lawless, Marina Surtis, Sybil Danning and Loni Anderson. I like that." Catherine quietly says to herself.



BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO CATHERINE ZETA JONES
TO ELIZABETH HURLEY
GOLD EXPERIENCE II

Mr. Skin