KEIRA KNIGHTLEY VS ALESHA DIXON

Two girls who don’t like each other very much will meet in the wrestling ring tonight.

Keira thinks that Alesha is ‘common to the point of roughness – some sort of dancing hooker’ whereas Alesha thinks Keira is ‘a stuck up posh tart who loves her bit of rough’.

So it’s all set up and ready for a showdown in the ring in a special fight at the end of a British wrestling show, and now the announcements. “Introducing, from Teddington, at 31 years old, 5 feet 7 and 8 stone 7 pounds, the serene Keira Knightley!”

Keira moves into the ring sedately, removing her robe to reveal herself in a baby blue basque, knickers and stockings, looking really good as she preens and pouts.

“And her opponent, from Welwyn Garden City, at 38 years old, 5 feet 7 and 9 stone 1 pound, every mans dirty secret, Alesha Dixon!”

The dark skinned beauty slithers into the ring, jaw droppingly beautiful in black bra, knickers, suspender belt and stockings, and she looks even better than Keira.

The referee is the envy of every man in the arena as he gets to check the girls out for hidden weapons, and he certainly lets his fingers slide over Alesha’s body longer than necessary, the bulge in his pants very obvious, even before she mouths a kiss at him.

The girls return to their corners, and the bell rings, the action about to start.

The girls move swiftly towards one another, Alesha trying to kick Keira, who throws her arm around the singer’s neck, then pulls her head downwards, turning her body at the same time, eventually having Alesha in a leant-over position, with her neck under her arm. But Alesha easily pulls her head from Keira’s grip while pushing the actress’s body forward, then, as they fall to the canvas, she’s pushing on Keira’s chin to get her head into position and then by slapping a neck-scissors on her, Alesha manoeuvring herself into position and catching Keira’s head between her legs. She then clutches her legs together at the ankle and begins to squeeze, but Keira is able to separate the singer’s legs at the ankles with her free arm, and Alesha cannot tighten the hold, so has to release her.

The girls are back on their feet, and it’s Keira straight into action as she pulls up on Alesha’s knickers up the brunette’s lower-back and gives her a painful wedgie. But the singer pushes her into the ropes, and Keira loses control of her. Alesha is pushing Keira's head back with one hand and delivering a thunderous slap onto her exposed chest, above her tits with her other. Then she gives her a few more chops as she tries soften Keira up a little. Although the actress has the wit and flexibility to fling Alesha into the ropes, after which she gives her a taste of her own medicine. Keira's hands smacking just as hard on Alesha’s breastbone.

Alesha slumps against the ropes, and Keira grabs her by the legs and drags her to the center of the ring. When Alesha sits up, Keira folds her legs up in front, securing the lock with her foot, then places her hands on the insides of the singer’s knees and starts pushing down on them. The brunette is flexible enough to have her knees pushed to the limit, and she gets out of trouble. Soon she is crawling away, and she gets to her feet and faces Keira again.

The girls circle, then Alesha grabs hold of the actress’s arm and pulls on it building up momentum, before sending her running into the ring ropes. Keira then bounces back from the ropes and rushes back towards the singer who catches her, reaching between her legs to hoist her up by the crotch, with her other arm over Keira’s shoulder. Then she turns the actress bottom up while slamming her downwards. In the last moment Alesha kneels down slamming poor Keisha across her extended knee. Alesha holds her draped across her knee and pushes down on her chin and knee for a short while, before tipping her off. Keira falls on her back, and wailing.

With Keira on her back, Alesha hooks her left leg, by reaching around the back of her neck with her right arm, hooking Keira’s leg with her left leg and then connecting her hands, whilst scissoring the actress’s right leg. When the hold is fully secured, Alesha straightens her body, also pulling upward with her arms and pushing downward with her thighs. Now Keira’s neck is being pulled forth painfully and her thighs are split and pulled apart, but, in spite of her agony, Keira doesn’t tap – because she’s close enough to the bottom rope to touch it, and the referee moves Alesha off her.

The girls are on their feet again, but Keira looks shaky, and Alesha quickly slips her hand between the singer’s legs and picks her up by the crotch, turns her and takes a few paces with her in her arms to show her newfound dominance. Alesha then suddenly jerks Keira upwards and back as she bridges backwards in the same time, throwing the actress over her head. A dazed Keira goes hitting the canvas sideways, and rolling away in much pain after the impact.

With Keira on her back again, dazed and groaning, Alesha drops down besides her. Alesha grabs hold of both her legs and pulls them both up, leaving the actress bottoms-up and legs hooked to suffer the humiliation of being counted out. The referee gets down to administer the three count with Keira more or less being displayed and paraded in this hold by Alesha - - but again she manages to tap the bottom rope, and the refree tells Alesha to let her go. The singer is angry and stomping her feet on the canvas.

Still angry, Alesha kicks Keira the bread-basket and bends her forwards with the actress’s head wedged between the singer’s glorious thighs. She then effectively hugs Keira, holding both her arms against her body, lifts her and folds her into a small package. After which she sits back, with Keira’s neck bent forward, an when she lands, she lands with her shoulders on her opponent’s thighs, piledriven with gusto by the older girl.

Keira really looks as though she’s had enough punishment now, almost motionless on her back. Now Alesha saunters around, preening before her fans, who cheer her on as she takes hold of both of the actress’s legs, hooks them under her armpits and turns the younger girl over onto her stomach. And then oh, so casually, she leans back into a semi-squatting position, pulling Keira’s legs towards her head. In just a few seconds Keira screams out her submission, feverishly tapping the canvas.

Now Alesha can celebrate her victory. She’s going to each corner of the ring, standing on the turnbuckles and blowing kisses. Then Alesha begins posing with her foot on the prone Keira’s head like a hunter on her prey.

BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO ALESHA DIXON

TO KEIRA KNIGHTLEY

Ryan Keely vs Ariel X