Jessica Simpson vs Christina Milian vs Kim Kardashian
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In October of 2015, E-News On-line ran blurb about celebrity Mommy Moguls who are dominating the business game. The article featured Christina Milian, Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson. Of course, each of the women felt like the other two were superfluous. Milian complained to her agent, who came up with an idea: stage a celebrity wrestling match with the three women to see who truly dominates. Very quickly, contracts were drawn and it was game on!
The night of the event, the three combatants draw straws, with the short straw sitting out the first match. Kim draws short and smiles. “Let them kick the crap out of each other, and I’ll clean up what’s left,” she muses.
Christina faces Jessica in a large well-lit ring. "Simpson, you may be half the cow you were, but you're still just about twice as dumb as dirt if you think you can dominate me," Christina taunts.
Christina, hands on hips, stiffens, then smiles half-turning away from Simpson. "Take a good look at this butt. You're gonna spend the night under it," as she displays her formidable glutes.
Simpson unhooks her bikini top and slowly massages her tits. "I think I'll smother you with my perfect juggs," Jessica coos.
Slipping out of her own bra, Milian responds, "Your saggy tits are nothing." Cupping her hands under her own boobs, Christina continues, "these two are all I need to finish you off, Blondie."
Plenty fit, Christina nonetheless looks softer than the slimmed down and pumped up Jessica, whose taut and hard belly, trim hips and unbelievably cut thighs and calves put her in a whole other league.
Simpson marches forward and slams her boobs into Christina's chest. Milian stands her ground. Two ample and two huge globes squash together. Simpson leans forward, shoves her tits from side to side and up and down. She thrusts her chest up and forward. Christina's boobs are pancaked flat. Milian shoves Jess away, then grabs Jessica’s left tit. As Milian's fingers dig in, she slips around Jess, wraps a leg around her foe and trips her down. Christina lands heavily on top of the blonde. She scissors Simpson’s left thigh and wraps an arm around her foe’s head, fingers still scrunching her boob.
"Bitch," spits Simpson, pulling Christina’s hand from her tit. Milian wraps both arms around Jessica’s back and holds her foe tight as she maintains her scissors. Jess grimaces, but manages to plant the foot of her free leg on the mat and shift her weight. Simpson locks her own thighs together around Christina’s leg as a test of strength and wills begins. Milian rolls Simpson onto her back, but Jess quickly rolls her over to gain the advantage. The brunette tries to maintain her scissors, but realizes that she is losing that battle. Simpson vices her legs tighter and wraps her arms around Milian’s back, draws her foe’s body boob-flattening-ly close. The brunette attempts to rolls Jessica off of her, but her legs are over-matched. Simpson can feel the pressure from Milian’s scissors ebb. She cranks up her vice-grip.
Christina howls, “Stop, you're breaking my leg, stop!”
Simpson rolls her foe onto her back and dishes out one last long crushing squeeze as Milian wails. Jessica unsnaps her legs and kicks the brunette away.
“Get up, my sorry little bitch,” Jess taunts.
Tears streaming, Christina slowly makes it to her feet. Jessica kicks her hard in the wounded thigh. The brunette crumbles to the mat on her side. Simpson drives her knee down on her Christina’s thigh. Jess stands to hair-haul her abused foe up then drives a knee into Milian’s belly. As Christina doubles over, Jess pulls her head between her glistening thighs.
“You’ve been beat. Now you get DOMINTATED!” Jess shouts.
Clenching her legs tight, the blonde smiles as Christina’s hands flail and slap ineffectually. Jess leans over. She wraps her arms around the brunette’s waist and hoists her upside down, and then drops her foe head-first into the mat.
Christina is sprawled and nearly out of it, but Jess is relentless. She stoops to lock Milian’s damages leg into a figure four leg lock. Jess drops down to the mat, leans back on her palms and lifts her butt off the mat to maximize the damage she can inflict. Milian wails, agonized. There is no fight left in her.
“Please, stop! I submit!” Milian pleads.But Simpson is merciless and pours on more pressure.
“Who is my little bitch, Christina?” Simpson taunts as her victim clutches at her leg.
“I am, I’m your little bitch! Just let me go,” Milian pleads.
“You’re so right! You are my little bitch, and I’ll let you go when I’m finished with you,” Jessica threatens.
“Let her go. Now!”
Jess looks up to see Kim Kardashian has slipped through the ropes and into the ring.
“Fuck off, cow, you’ll get your turn,” Simpson spits.
Kardashian looks to turn away, but then stomps a foot down into Simpson’s belly. Kim grabs Jess by the hair and hauls her off of the sobbing Milian. Kim throws Jessica across the ring and turns to Christina’s corner. “Get this sorry mess out of here, I have some business to dominate,” Kim commands.
Thoroughly pissed-off, Simpson raises her fists and stalks Kardashian. The mobile blonde stuns Kim with a quick strong uppercut that crashes through Kim's off-guard defense. Kim’s head snaps back. Simpson has spent nearly a year kicking and punching a heavy bag for an hour a day. She goes to town on the ultra curvy brunette. Kicks and jabs mash into Kim's tits, arms and ribs. Kim retreats and covers, absorbing some serious hurt. But Kardashian is not untrained. She counter-punches, catching Jessica in the ribs with several wicked shots. Jess pounds relentlessly on her foes arms and sides. Kim picks her shots and drives a fist into Simpson’s chest. Jess goes head-hunting. She lets fly a looping right but Kim deflects it. The brunette steps in, grabs Jess by the shoulders and rocks her with a knee to her belly that spins the blonde around.
Jessica steps away. Kim follows. Simpson stops, turns and nails Kim with a left that boxes her right ear. Kim retaliates and slams her left fist into Jessica's right tit and quickly follows up with another knee to the blonde’s belly and a kick to her crotch. Jess doubles up. Kim slams an ax handle down on Jessica's back, then grabs blonde hair and tosses the lighter now airborne blonde across the mat.
Splattered and dazed, Jessica makes it up to all fours. Kim steps in behind her to plant her foot squarely on Jessica’s ass and shoves, propelling the blonde head first into the corner. Kim charges in, yanks the blonde to her feet and hip-checks her up against the turnbuckle. The brunette presses her left forearm against her foe’s head as she slams those oh-so-oversized hips into Jessica. The blonde is pinned and hammered in place as Kim’s fist and knees pound repeatedly into the blonde’s toned but bruising body, followed by a hip-check for emphasis. Simpson slumps. Kim lets her fall to her knees.
Kardashian steps over her, trapping Jessica's head between thick, muscular-if-not-cut thighs. With one hand on the ring post for leverage, the brunette clamps her legs tight shut around Simpson's neck. Simpson wails. She reaches back and rakes her fingernails down the sides of Kim's legs. Kardashian relinquishes her standing scissors and jerks away, clipping Jess in the face with a knee as she does. As Jessica attempts to stand, Kim throws a headlock on her, spins her around and bull-dogs the blonde Texan to the mat.
Jessica lands hard and rolls onto her back. Kim is up on her feet. She hauls Jess up and kicks her in the belly. Kardashian hoists Simpson up to shoulder height and body slams her to the mat. Kim launches and splashes down full body on top of her foe.
Kim hauls the deflated, flat-Simpson to her feet. Twisting the blonde into an arm bar, Kardashian holds her in place while she uses a thick leg to pummel belly and boobs.
Kim twists the Jessica’s arm into a hammerlock. Shoving from behind, the heavier woman runs Jess into the turnbuckle, then throws her backward. Simpson is sprawled on her back. Smiling, Kim steps up to walk across Jess’s gut. She stands with one foot on the blonde’s heaving chest.
“Dominated yet? You my little blonde skank bitch?” Kim jeers.
“You fat pig, I’ll…” Jess begins.
But Kim drops down to squat on Simpson’s chest. The brunette shimmies forward, pressing her big thighs around Jessica's head. She latches onto the blonde’s tresses and jerks up on her head. Kardashian starts to trash-talk her foe, promising her a humiliating finish. The brunette is caught off-guard when Jessica sucks in her taut abs, pulls her legs up to catch the brunette just under the shoulders. Strong legs force the brunette over.
Startled, Kim turns to grab the blonde but Jessica’s foot slams into her chest. Kim recovers before Jess and leaps on her foe. As they struggle on the mat, Kim warps her legs around Jessica's trim waist and traps her in a full nelson.
“You’re just too dumb to know when you’re owned,” Kardashian growls.
Kim bears down on her victim while Simpson struggles, unable to break free of the cobra that crushes her. Jessica's thrashing subsides as Kim saps her strength. Finally, the brunette loosens her legs just a bit and rolls Jessica over on top of her. Kardashian forces Simpson's face into her chest and clamps her legs tight shut around her waist. Kim wraps her arms tight around the back of Simpson's neck, holding her head securely in place.
"This is just the start, Jess. I'm gonna smother you and break all your ribs. Then I'm gonna introduce you to my world-renown ass personally,” threatens Kim.
For an agonizing minute, Simpson tries to break free, but Kim has her immobilized. The brunette is all business and her business is domination!
“Tell me you’re my bitch and I might let you go,” Kardashian taunts.
Jess mumbles something but Kim’s big juggs are fully sound-cancelling.
“What? What-- can’t hear you, guess you want some more,” the brunette considers as she cranks up the crush.
Simpson’s body shivers and twitches. Another mumble tries to escape.
Kim smiles and relaxes her arms as she coos, “Jessica, are you my…”
Before she can finish, Jessica turns her head to sink her teeth into Kim's left tit.
“Bitch!” Kardashian screams.
She yanks back on Simpson's hair, desperate to pull Simpson off of her. Kardashian jams her thumbs into the sides of Jessica’s mouth and stretches, forcing the blonde to let go. Kardashian kicks Simpson away. Kim cups her wounded boob. The blonde is on her feet, rubbing her mouth, panting, aching, gulping in air… and furious.
Kim stands, shaking out her cramped and trembling legs, still cupping her tit. She glares at the blonde and then charges at Jessica. The blonde side-steps and then trips the brunette to the mat. Kim scrambles to a knee and starts to rise but Jess rushes forward and nails her in the head with a spinning kick. Kim hit's the mat hard. She lies on her back, starry-eyed. Jess stands a few steps away, bent over with her forearms on her thighs, panting.
Slowly the two women are on their feet and resume the fight. Neither woman is eager to engage. They circle slapping each others hands away, looking for an opening.
Kim kicks at Jess’s belly but misses. Simpson spins around and kicks an off-balance Kim in the thigh, just above her knee. As the brunette’s leg buckles, Jess leaps up to drive a knee into the brunette’s back. She grabs her foe’s long hair and face-plants Kim decisively to the mat. Simpson straddles Kardashian’s back. Fists and forearms pummel Kim’s neck and back. Jess grabs Kim by the hair, bashes her face down into the mat and follows up with two forearms across the back of her neck. Jess props herself up and drives her left knee into Kim’s back again and again.
Jess drags a harried Kim to her feet. Two left hands slam into Kim's belly, a forearm crushes her epic, tormented juggs. A devastating left slams low, low into Kim's gut. Simpson repeats the combination, waiting for Kardashian to topple. But Kim launches herself forward to head-butt the blonde. Kim seizes the stunned blonde around the waist. Jess locks her arms around the brunette’s neck. They tumble to the mat with Kardashian landing on top. Kim wraps her hands around Simpson's throat and spreads her legs wide, trying to pin Simpson under her. Simpson wriggles loose and rolls her over. On her back, Kardashian manages to slip her arms around the back of Simpson's head and pulls Jess down on top of her, pulling her foe’s face toward her deep cleavage.
“My juggs own you,” Kim hisses as she inches Jess closer in.
Simpson struggles to pull free. She lifts up her pelvis up—a mistake that allows Kim to pull her legs up and open. The brunette clamps her thighs tight around Jessica's still aching waist. Kardashian squeezes as tightly as she can.
Simpson's body wiggles and flops. Each time Kim squeezes tight, Simpson screams in shear agony. In between Kim's squeezes, Simpson's fists are flailing at Kim's ribs. The brunette grunts under the assault. Still scissored, Simpson twists up her knees, trying to break free, lifting the brunette up with her. For the next several minutes, Jessica fights to her feet and tries to twist Kim over. Kardashian holds her off. Three times her thick, strong legs throw Jessica back to the mat. Kim gathers her strength, cranks up the pressure on Jessica's waist and rolls to her side, taking Jessica with her. Bearing down, Kardashian’s legs constrict Simpson's ribs brutally. Kim lets go of Jessica's head. Her left hand grabs a handful of blonde hair and pulls Simpson's head away.
"I'm going to snap you in half," Kim threatens, looking into Jessica's glazing eyes.
As Kim squeezes, Jessica's bosom heaves. Kim can't resist the targets. Her right hand reaches across, grabs Simpson's right nipple and twists. The shooting pain seems to snap Jessica back into the fight. She cracks her left elbow across Kim's cheek.
Twisting her body around, Simpson is once more on top, though Kardashian maintains her scissors. Kim throws her arms around Jessica's head but Jessica twists her body violently, managing to spread her legs wide, she finally twists free of Kim's scissors. Her thinner, but muscular legs wrap around Kim's thick right leg. The brunette tries to secure Jessica with a head lock, but Jessica is now pressing forward from her knees, leaning heavily on Kim, pinning her to the mat.
Kardashian grabs blonde hair and tries to pull Simpson off of her, but Jessica pounds her right hand into the curvy woman's belly and juggs. Simpson grabs onto Kim's hair and hauls the heavy-weight to her feet. Jess throws a punch into her foe’s belly. Kim starts to double up but instead straightens and slams a double ax handle down on the blonde’s chest. Kim spins Jess around, grabs her by her neck muscles and drives her right knee thundering up into the blonde’s back. Kardashian shoves Jess jugg-first into the corner. Both fists hammer away at Jess’s lower back.
“This is how you dominate, you has-been blonde bitch,” Kim hisses.
Kim stops to spin Jess around. Grabbing the top ropes, Kim starts to slam her chest into Jess. Boob-sweat flies as well-matched tits slap together.
“Give up,” Kim commands.
As Kim propels herself forward once more, the blonde jams the palms of both hands into Kim’s chin. Jess grabs the startled brunette, spins her around and cracks a forearm across Kardashian’s collar bone. Jess steps back and unleashes a devastating series of kicks. Her all-out assault pummels Kim’s belly, boobs and sides. The blonde drives a knee up into Kim’s pussy. She grabs the brunette by the hair and snap mares her to the mat.
Jessica quickly wraps a figure four scissors around Kim’s neck. Kim reaches for Jess’s tit but Jess slaps her hand away. She manages to grab the blonde’s hair, but Jess holds her wrist tight and pours on more pressure. Simpson rolls onto her back, taking Kim with her. The blonde’s right leg is tight around Kim’s neck. Jess digs both hands into Kim’s long brown hair close to her scalp to hold her tight in place. Kim’s face turns beet red. Her eyes well up with tears.
“Give up. I own you but I don’t want to kill you, you stupid cow,” Jess urges.
“I give!” Kim stammers.
“Duh, you think?” mocks Simpson.
Simpson stands slowly. Kim lies on her back, tears streaming down her flushed face.
“That was just the beat-down. Now what’s next is how you dominate, you famous-for-being-famous nobody" scoffs Simpson.
Jess hauls the nearly dead-weight Kim to her feet and seizes the back of her thong bikini. Yanking it up, Jess marches the wedgied Kim on tip-toes into the nearest corner. Jess spins their bodies around and leans back against the turnbuckles. She wraps her hands around Kim’s head and buries her face into hungry cleavage. Kim has nothing left. In just a few moments, she is fully jugged-out. Jess lets her slump to her knees.
Simpson drags Kim by her hair to the center of the ring. She hoists her defeated foe down across her outstretched knee, tits up.
“Hey, wake you—you really don’t want to miss this part!” Jess jokes.
Jess strokes Kim’s belly twice. She takes her time squeezing and then fondling Kim’s tits, until the brunette responds.
“Ah, you’re back. Good. Nice juggs. Not in my league, but they’re down-right second best,” Jess muses.
Simpson gut-punches her helpless foe. She rolls Kim onto her stomach. With Kim draped across her knee, Jessica proceeds to spank the brunette's over-sized ass, striking her with harder and harder slaps.
"This ass is so big that it'll take me all night to beat it," Jess hoots. When she has had her fun, when Kim's ass is as red as her face, Simpson shoves a dissolved Kardashian off of her knee, leaving her sprawled out on the mat.
The blonde stands up and announces, "Consider that just your introductory lesson from the first lady of domination!"
ENews decided to revise its headline about which mommy mogul dominates!
BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO KIM KARDASHIAN
TO JESSICA SIMPSON
TO CHRISTINA MILIAN
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