PENELOPE CRUZ vs JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT

VS

Ms. Cruz was a national hero. The Spanish Prime Minister was aware of this. What better way to jump start the Spanish economy then by challenging the American lightweight catfighting champion to a unification match? A match in the Barcelona soccer stadium which holds 100,000 people. Plus the American tourists who would travel and spend their money in Spain, just might pull Spain of of a recession. Calls were placed to Ms. Cruz by the Prime Minister's office.

When Penelope got the call from the Spanish Prime Minister, her first thought was this is a joke, right? No, not at all. They offered a chance to further your career, defeat the American champion, and earn $8,000,000 euro's. "Hmmm", thought Penelope.

Jennifer Love Hewitt just won the lightweight title, defeating the legendary Alyssa Milano. Milano also was the world champion. In fact, Milano held the title so long, and the American catfighters before Milano dominated the lightweight catfighting world championships. In fact since Yvette Mimeax won the lightweight world championship in 1963, and then lost it the next year, the Americans have ruled the lightweight class. For 46 years an American was the world champion.

Penelope started to think, and also watched some film of Jennifer Love Hewitt. Jennifer was a fearless attacking fighter. However, America was not the same country today that produced the great champions like Welch, Parton, Lucci, Milano, etc. America was a country of couch potatoes, spoiled whiny arrogant people, who thought only of money. Penelope thought America was in decline. Watching the tapes of Hewitt did not impress Penelope. Yes Jennifer had a long winning streak. But against who? Milano was well pass her prime. Aguilera almost KOed Jennifer in the first minute. Stefani controlled Hewitt, only to lose on a lucky punch. "Hatcher, Longoria?" Penelope chuckled, "those two would only be fit as sparring partners. Hmm, if I could defeat Jennifer," thought Penelope, "my career is set. I could do those action films, which I am not getting now." Penelope called the Prime Minister. "Yes, send a challenge to Ms. Hewitt. State the challenge and see if she accepts."

When Raquel Welch calls a catfighter and say let’s have lunch, the called catfighter drops whatever she is doing and accommodates Raquel. Everyone knows that Raquel Welch is to catfighting what Babe Ruth was to baseball, what Michael Jordan was to basketball: Simply the best ever. Raquel is the only catfighter to retire undefeated. Alyssa Milano retired after losing her belt to Jennifer Love Hewitt, her only defeat. But Raquel had a catfight record of 171-0, also Raquel had caused 59 fighters to retire. Contrast that to Alyssa Milano record of 58-1 and 12 retirements.

So, when Jennifer Love Hewitt received a call from Raquel, Jennifer thought it was a thank you lunch for Jennifer's securing Raquel's legend when she defeated Alyssa. Jennifer arrived early, no one is late or big times Raquel. Raquel's entrance was stunning. Dressed in a tight as skin on a grape leather pants, and a form fitting blouse, Raquel still turned heads.

Jennifer and Raquel hugged and chatted. Raquel was thankful for Jennifer's victory over Alyssa, saying to Jenn, "If you lost, I might have had to come out of retirement to kick Alyssa'a ass."

Jennifer smiled her famous little girl smile, and thought "Geez, this bitch could probably still kick my ass."

After lunch, Raquel got to business. "Jenn, dear, I have an idea for your next fight." Jenn perked up at that comment. After her win over Alyssa, fighters were not exactly lining up to take on Jenn. Maybe some talk of Jennifer Aniston who was winning her fights and looking really in shape. Or maybe a cross weight class match with Angelina Jolie, the middleweight champ, but both matches fizzled.

"Really, what’s your idea, Raquel?"

Raquel gave Jenn a toothy smile and simply said, "Spain."

Jenn was bewildered. "Spain?! I don't understand, Raquel?"

Raquel laughed and said, “It’s easy, Jenn. You go to Barcelona, Spain and catfight Penelope Cruz the European lightweight champion. Its a unification match."

Jenn shrugged, "Penelope Cruz?" Jenn was clearly caught off guard. "Eerr... Why Spain, Raquel?"

"The Spanish prime minister called me. As you know Jenn, Spain's economy is really bad. Well, Spain has a new national hero when Penelope won the Euro championship. So", continued Raquel, "the Spanish government is strongly considering a unification match to bring tourists, attention, and money to Spain."

Jen shrugged her shoulders non commit tally. "Raquel, I can get matches here."

Raquel smiled, patted Jenn's hand with her hand and said, "No you can't Jenn. Look, Aguilera, washed up. Stefani, rather do music. Milano?" retired. Hatcher, Longoria, retired." Jenn smiled broadly at that remark. Raquel feigned annoyance and said "No thanks to you" Both catfighters laughed. "And besides Jenn, you will be compensated well."

Jenn arched her big beautiful eyes."How much compensation?"

Raquel had the hook in the fishes mouth. A big sigh and Raquel said "Well, in US Dollars $4,200,000 to the loser." Jenn was sipping water and almost choked hearing that."And to the winner, hmmm approximately $9,600,000 million dollars."

Jennifer rarely swears. However, in his instance her response was, "Are you shitting me?" Raquel merely smiled, a subtle shake of her head saying no. "9.6 million dollars"? Jenn gasped.

"Well, it gets better dear."Raquel replied. Jenn was mouth agape ,waiting for Raquel. "The winner will also get a starring role in an action movie. You will own a piece of the movie, thus sharing in the profits. The featured lead role either you or Ms. Cruz will do will pay $15,000,000, plus profits every time a ticket is sold, or a bottle of coke, and a carton of popcorn sold."

Jenn shook her head, her beautiful glossy hair sparkled in the light."I dunno Raquel, this is too good to be true. Look, who the hell is Penelope Cruz?. Just some rich European girl, hell there are 30 girls here that would destroy her. You know that."

Raquel, shrugged her broad shoulders. "What can I say Jenn, I was born 40 years too early," and smiled. Both Jenn and Raquel laughed.

"Ok, fine, yeah, I will go to Barcelona or where ever in Spain. Just put together and a crew to train with. Nine point six million for a catfight, and the lead role in an action flix is too much to pass up. This is a real chance to break away from TV and made for TV movies." Jennifer smiled broadly. "Sure, let’s do this Raquel."

The country of Spain was absolutely giddy with joy after winning the World Cup. Great Spanish teams of the past had bitterly disappointed the fine Spanish citizens. The results of July 11th were still being felt in Barcelona, the site of the Hewitt/Cruz World Reunification Lightweight catfighting Championship. Spain had never had a champion catfighter, until Penelope Cruz surprise win in the European championship, this past spring. The dismal economy, with bank failures, high unemployment had cast a pallor over the beautiful country. The pallor, was replaced with a nationalistic jingoism, provided by the world Cup win, as well as Penelope's ascendancy to the European catfighting champion.

Penelope knew she had a formidable challenge in Jennifer Love Hewitt. Jennifer possessed terrific hand speed and strength. These qualities were the lynch pin of American catfighters. Penelope was most impressed with Hewitt's ability to absorb punishment and still fight at a high level of intensity for an extended period of time.

Given these strengths to her opponent, Penelope still thought Jennifer was quite beatable. Penelope thought the American catfighters were not as formidable as in years past. Watching the tapes of the Stefani and Aguilera matches gave Cruz plenty of reason for optimism. The athletic Stefani dominated the match against Hewitt. A lucky punch won that match. The speedy Aguilera controlled the early part of her fight with Jenn. Aguilera mysteriously tired and then Jennifer took control.

Jennifer Love Hewitt and her band of American catfighters flew into Barcelona to prepare for the unification match. Jennifer would train with Gwen Stefani and the recently retired Alyssa Milano. Jenn thought that Penelope would try and use her height and reach advantage. Alyssa would be the confidant, offering encouragement, advise and counsel.

Jenn had tremendous pressure to retain the championship. The last European to hold the world championship was Sophia Loren in 1963, before that Gina Lollabrigada in 1961, and Elke Sommer in 1959. But then along came the legendary American catfighters. Joey Heartherington won the title in 1964. From 1966 it was Raquel Welch's personal prize and then various Americans ending with Alyssa Milano who held the title from 1991 until 2010. Her reign ended with her defeat by Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Jennifer knew she would be facing a hostile crowd, 100,000 roaring Spaniards, intent on cheering their favorite daughter to victory. Jenn was not to thrilled with Penelope's comments regarding the state of American catfighters. "Who was Penelope Cruz to say that American fighters were overrated? Who had she beaten?"

Jennifer was also a film study freak. Penelope was a puzzle to figure out. Penelope had a variety of ways to attack opponents. She was graceful, almost like a figure skater. She had excellent hand speed and hand coordination. Yet she lacked finishing technique. She did not punch particularly hard. Jen was accustomed to hard quick punches, not the technical fighter that Penelope was.

Penelope loved to study film of her opponents also. She would spend long hours analyzing every punch Jennifer threw, finding her patterns, studying her defense. One thing was clear, taller opponents gave Jennifer fits. Penelope was 4 inches taller than Jenn. Using her reach advantage would be a big plus. As a result, Penelope spend hours working her right hand jab. She would try and beat Jennifer's pretty face into hamburger, sap her will to fight, fatigue Jennifer and then destroy her. As well as working on the jab, Penelope used her ballet experience, to throw the jab, retreat circle left, throw the jab retreat circle right, and throw the jab. Jennifer would fatigue, and then Penelope would attack those big American breasts of her opponent.

Jenn broke her training time down into these areas 1) film study 2) strength training 3) game planning.

One of the reasons Jennifer had improved so much as a fighter was her increase in strength. She pumped iron like a maniac. Explosive aerobic training, and heavy bag punching were the other main areas of strength training. Everyone would agree that strength was a major asset for Jenn against the lithe Cruz. Jenn also added some defensive boxing techniques, the bob, weave. She would not be a stationary target for Penelope’s long range slaps. Regarding those slaps, diligent film study revealed a flaw in Penelope's slapping technique. She had a flaw, a flaw that Jenn thought was a serious defect. Penelope would swing her hand backward then raise the hand and deliver a slap. Whereas Gwen Stefani, would raise her hand to rear level and slap. The result was that Gwen had a quicker, cleaner, faster, more accurate slap, not to mention more striking power. Jenn knew that Penelope would study the Stefani tape. However, Jenn thought Penelope's slapping was slow, inaccurate, and not powerful. Jenn would continue with her attack dog style. Relentlessly, boring in, closing off ground getting her strong hands on her opponent's body and literally shreds. Both fighters felt they had a great game plan that would end with a victory. Unfortunately, only one would prevail.

Jennifer weighted in at 110 pounds, down considerably from February 2009, when Jessica Alba destroyed her, sending Hewitt back to the minor leagues. A weight loss of 17 pounds of fat on her 5 ft 2 1/2 inches of height.

Hewitt and Cruz said little to each other at the weight in. Both fighters really felt as though they had fought superior fighters to get to this match. Both women expected to win, and to win easily. Jennifer felt that Penelope was slow and frail. Jennifer would stay in attack mode, attacking, attacking, thinking the slaps of Cruz would not be enough to stop her.

The fighters arrived 2 hours before the fight. The 2 hours crawled by as preliminary battles were going on. Up and comer Kelly Monaco and veteran fighter Jessica Biel were fighting. Later it was revealed that Monaco destroyed Jada Pinkett Smith and Biel hammered Kate Beckinsale. A good start for the Americans.

At 8:50 PM a tremendous roar from the packed throng arose as Penelope took to the ring. Wide screen televisions on both ends of the stadium showed Penelope entering the ring. Her entourage was waving the Spanish flag, to the deafening roar of the crowd. Penelope, wearing a red sports bra, black wrestling boots, and red bike short, pranced along the ring her European title held in both hands over her head. Her hands were protected by black cobra gloves.

At 8:55 the American entered the ring. The only capping was from the band of American catfighters. Jennifer walked around the ring, ignoring Cruz. Jennifer was wearing her black sports bra, black bike shorts, her wrestling boots were red as were her cobra gloves.

Fight day was finally here. Both women were anxious relieved that the difficult training and waiting was over. Tonight either Hewitt or Cruz would reign as the world champion lightweight fighter.

Penelope weighed in at 106 pounds, height of 5 ft 6 inches, and age 36. Cruz was very confident of her chances to win. Penelope would use her reach advantage, keeping Jennifer away, wear Hewitt down, take her famous aggression away a la what Gwen Stefani accomplished. Penelope trained rigorously trying to increase her hand speed, as well as tuning her body to absorb the hard punches and slaps of Hewitt. Cruz respected the punching and slapping ability of Hewitt. Many others overlooked Hewitt's attack methods, only to be destroyed by the petite brunette.

Jennifer Love Hewitt was also pleased that the fight date arrived. Hewitt felt enormous pressure to win. After all, since 1965 the Americans had owned the world championship in the lightweight class. Since Hewitt's dominate performance against Alyssa Milano, taking the championship from Alyssa, the World Championship belt was now open. Penelope win at the European Championship allowed her to challenge the new American title holder to a match.

The fight would be held at 9 PM in the Barcelona futbol stadium. The seating capacity was 100,000, almost all would root for Cruz. Spain was in a sports frenzy. The Spanish men ruled futbol, easily dominating the Netherlands last month in the World Cup championships. Now, if Penelope could win at catfighting, Spain would rule supreme.

Both fighters were summoned to midring. The referee instructed the women on the rules. Winner would be by submission only. As the ref was giving her instructions, Penelope aggressively bumped her chest into Jennifer's chest and placed her boobs on top of Jennifer's boobs. The crowd roared as Jennifer angrily pushed Cruz away. Both fighters almost got into it at that point. The ref regained control and told the combatants to touch gloves and go to corners. The women touched cobra gloves roughly and when to corners. The bell rang. The fight was on as the 100,000 people stood roaring. The noise was deafening.

Both fighters seemed out of sorts a bit due to the noise. Cruz attempted a long range slap, which missed as the fans groaned. Jennifer tried to power her tight body toward Penelope, but Penelope pushed her away roughly. The crowd liked that and roared their approval. Penelope swiftly tried a left handed slap, which surprised Hewitt. CRACKKKKK as Hewitt's head turned right from the slap. The raucous crowd was on its feet, as Penelope stepped in toward her muscular opponent and reached out with her hands, finding Hewitt’s breasts. Penelope gave each melon a 1/4 turn to the right. The crowd roared. Hewitt yelped in pain. Cruz had the fast start she wanted. Jennifer balled her right fist and slammed her fist into Penelope's left ribcage. Penelope retreated, taking her hands off of Jenn's orbs.

Jenn tried to press in towards Penelope. The crowd roared as a left/right hand slap to Jennifer's face stunned the American fighter. Hewitt stood straight up as the slaps hit her face. Cruz gambled. Penelope grabbed Hewitt's hair and tossed Jenn toward the right corner turnbuckle. Jennifer was flung into the corner. Jenn was startled to see Cruz running toward her, and then concerned as Penelope slammed her body into Jennifer's body. Penelope slammed Jennifer with a right/ left slap combination to the face, and then Penelope took her left index finger, and slid that finger inside Jennifer's bike shorts. The finger went searching for Jenny's kitty. At the same time Penelope's upper body had pinned Jennifer into the corner. The finger found Jennifer's vagina and Penelope roughly massages the vagina. The crowd roared as Jennifer screamed. The American catfighters were both concerned and stunned. Nobody thought Penelope was this fast, this accurate a slapper, and attacking Jennifer’s kitty would definitely slow Jenn down. Jennifer herself was at a near panic. Penelope finger was getting deeper and deeper into her kitty stabbing near her clit. Also just as bad, Jenny could not push Penelope off of her.

Penelope used her left hand to squeeze Jennifer's breast. The American catfighters were screaming at Jennifer to fight back. Penelope was being urged on by the crowd and was surging with adrenaline. Finally Jennifer reared her head back and head butted Penelope's nose. The crowd booed, Cruz screamed, but more importantly, Cruz stepped back. Hewitt quickly grabbed Penelope's hand and pulled it from her injured kitty.

The injured Hewitt quickly went to mid ring trying to circle and clear her head and gain time. Penelope recognized this and now Penelope crowded Hewitt, trying to slap Jenn, but her slaps were wild. Hewitt got her elbows up deflecting this attack. Jennifer then slammed her right fist into Penelope's right breast. The Spaniard screamed and retreated.

Jennifer pursued with a left handed slap to Penelope's pretty face. The sound rocketed throughout the packed stadium. The American catfighters relaxed as Jennifer seemed to survive Cruz's initial onslaught. Jennifer had used her experience to stave off defeat. She again seriously underestimated the attack capability of her opponent. A lesser skilled, or experienced fighter would have been finished by Penelope's attack. Penelope was cursing herself. She had let a golden opportunity go to waste. Her hurried follow up attempt to slap Jennifer into submission was thwarted. Both fighters settled in for a grueling fight.

Penelope quickly went back to her game plan. The Spaniard targeted her foe and rained slapping lefts and rights toward Jennifer's face. This tactic was keeping Jennifer away. However from Jenn's practice with Gwen Stefani, Jenn easily blocked these slaps. Jennifer still was searching for a way to attack. The counter slaps were working for Cruz. The trademark aggression of Jennifer was being neutralized.

Penelope was flustered as her slaps were not hitting her intended target. Worse, her constant slapping was beginning to fatigue her lithe body. The combination of 90 degree heat, constant slaps, and the withdraw of initial adrenaline was slowing Penelope down. Jenn noticed this as well.

Jenn gritted her teeth as she stepped toward Cruz grabbing her opponent's wrists and hurling Penelope toward the left side ropes. Cruz slammed into the ropes and bounces back toward Hewitt completely off balance. Jenn balled her right fist and slammed that fist into Penelope's gut. The combination of Penelope's momentum, and the perfect balance of hip and shoulder of Hewitt's punch, caused Cruz to gasp. Spit flew from her mouth as she hit the mat flat on her face.

Finally, thought Jenn, a break. Quickly, Jenn sat her powerful thighs on the lean ass of Penelope Cruz. Jenn balled her fists and slammed right and left combinations into Penelope's exposed kidneys. Left "UGh!" Right "UGh!" Left, "UGh!" Right, "UGh!" Left, "Ugh!" Right, "Ugh!"

Suddenly the stadium was deathly silent as Jennifer tortured the European champion with pulverizing punches to the kidneys. The American catfighters were urging their champion. Even Eva Longoria was rooting for Jenn.

Penelope was not done yet. Champs don't quit. Penelope slammed her left elbow backward, catching Jennifer's right breast. Stunned, Hewitt fell off of Cruz.

Both fighters now were seriously hurt. Cruz would pee blood for weeks. Jenn's kitty throbbed like a migraine. Both women were plastered in sweat. Mental discipline was critical at this point of the fight. The 2 hurt exhausted catfighters were fighting on their championship DNA. Their eyes showing lots of white, chests heaving the sense of hatred palpable throughout the stadium, as the 2 queen bees squared off.

At this point of the fight, emotion and instinct over took common sense and game planning. Both women had been hurt by the other. The urge to destroy the other women caused both women to stand toe to toe and exchange vicious slaps to the face. The heads of each fighter was turned 90 degrees as their opponent lands slaps which would have felled almost any other catfighter. Sweat flew from their battered, tired, sweaty bodies as their opponents landed uncontested slaps. The CRACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKkk of a blurred hand striking flesh, the UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH sounds coming from the hit catfighter. Every one in the stadium were on their feet urging the women on. The courage displayed by both Cruz and Hewitt was exceptional.

The slapping, was followed by a period of intense hair pulling, as the 2 combatants, tugged at each other's glossy thick hair. They were tugging like a farmer milking a cow. Exhaustion was beginning to set in for the women. The referee came in and separated this scrum as both women were sucking in air. Their hands were in their opponent’s hair, but not tugging. The referee told both women to release on the count of 3 and take 2 steps back. The fighters did this, stepping back, allowed a few seconds pause in their war. Both fighters knew they had to finish their opponent quickly, or be finished.

Jennifer raised her hands, her elbows offering partial coverage of her big breasts. Her forearms are protecting her face to some degree as see moved toward Penelope. Penelope instinctively slapped viciously as Jennifer bore in toward her. Jenn had covered her face well, and Penelope's blows landed on Jenn's arms, not hurting her at all. For a split second, Penelope's pretty face was exposed, and like a cobra, Jennifer's right hand streaked toward her opponent's unguarded face.

CRACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKkk!!!!!

The sound of Jenn's hand hitting Penelope echoed throughout the stadium. Instantly, the stadium was hushed. Penelope's beautiful brown eyes rolled back in her head for a second, her legs buckle, she stumbled forward, as Jennifer landed a second left hand slap to Cruz's unguarded face.

Jennifer then pushed Penelope into the corner, pinning Penelope against the turnbuckle with her body. Jennifer quickly clawed at Penelope's breasts. Penelope screamed as Jenn kneaded, twisted, tugged and pulled at the firm breasts of Ms. Cruz. The American catfighters were standing screaming for Jennifer to end the classic battle. They were the only people in the crowd of 100,000 cheering. Penelope's soul shattering screams resounded through the stadium, as Jennifer had a pit bull grip on Cruz's breasts. Jennifer pulled one hand free, and gave an expert double backhand slap to Cruz's face. With that slap, Penelope hung her head, her beautiful hair hanging over her face, perhaps unconscious for a second.

Penelope was in deep trouble. Her strength was diminishing by the second. Her breathing was ragged and raspy. The ring seemed to be moving in a circle, as slap after slap hit her pretty face.

Finally, Jennifer cupped Penelope's face, like a school teacher to a misbehaving child. Jenn asked a 1 word question. "Enough?"

Penelope shook her head no. Jennifer sighed, and said "All right then. You had your chance." Jennifer commenced an all out assault on her defenseless, battered opponent. SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! Then Jennifer did a vicious tug to Cruz's breasts.

Finally Jennifer roped her defenseless opponent's arms over the top ropes. The American catfighters knew what would come next. Jennifer lifted the gorgeous thighs of the Spaniard, placing the thighs and legs outside of the ring. Again Jennifer Love Hewitt had staked her opponent to the ring. Jennifer had Cruz completely at her mercy. Jennifer then did a puzzling thing. Jennifer put her thumb and index finger on Penelope's chin, and directed the eyes of the beaten fighter to look into Jennifer's eyes. Jenn again asked "Enough?" Penelope again shook her head no. Jennifer was puzzled. Penelope was exhausted her body shivering. Penelope knew that Jennifer could destroy her womanhood in the next few seconds. But to surrender in Spain, in front of her fans, never.

Jennifer seemed to realize this. Jennifer came to respect Penelope during this fight. Penelope could fight as well as ANY AMERICAN catfighter. Jennifer quickly plunged her right hand into Penelope's kitty. Penelope's instant reaction was to rear her head back and scream. However, unknown to anyone in the stadium, Jennifer MERELY entered Penelope. She did not twist or pull on her defeated opponents clit. Penelope's reaction, like a flinch, gave her the cover to surrender. Again Jennifer asked "Enough?"

Knowing to refuse now could give the same fate that Eva Longoria and Teri Hatcher suffered. Penelope said "ENOUGH.I SURRENDER" Jennifer smiled demurely withdrew her hand stepped back as the referee raised Jennifer Love Hewitt's right arm, the new Lightweight Catfighting Champion of the world.

Jennifer Love Hewitt won $8 million for the fight. Also she would receive a movie contract to star in an action flick, and would be paid $18 million dollars. The total gross receipts for this catfight, counting pay for view, attendance was $200 million dollars. The catfight commission Raquel Welch received $40 million dollars. The Spanish economy received a tremendous boost from tourism and such. it was enough to avoid a depression in their economy.

Many catfight historians would rate the Cruz/Hewitt fight as one of the top 5 catfights of all time. Penelope Cruz and Jennifer Love Hewitt became close friends after the fight. Penelope would be eternally grateful that Jennifer showed mercy. Jennifer was grateful because this fight would vault her into the talk of all time great catfighters.

The only upset person was Angeline Jolie. Jolie, the middleweight world champion, bristled at the money paid to Love Hewitt, and particularly the $18 million for a movie. Jolie was heard to say. "$18 million is a lot to pay for a woman who can't act or fight."

This comment raised the eyebrows of many in the catfight industry, including the commissioners Raquel Welch. Welch prompted fined Joie, $10,000 for comments detrimental to catfighting. But, Raquel seemed to think a catfight to merge the light and middle weight belts could be worth 1 billion dollars. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...