CHRISTINA APPLEGATE VS JENNY McCARTHY
*Check out the Epilog for the story behind this story
Christina Applegate (57%) dismantles Jenny McCarthy (43%) Ever since the decision had been made a few weeks ago to admit 'the Crippler' Catherine Zeta Jones into the ABA, Jenny and Christina had been constantly arguing with each other over her. Jenny feels that CZJ could add valuable fighting experience to the team. On the other hand, not only did Christina bring up the fact that CZJ broke two of her limbs during their matches (whether intentional or otherwise), but that she had been on a losing streak as of late. They even continued arguing moments before their match.
"Do we really want a wrestler added to our team that doesn't care about her teammates? I fought side by side with you guys and put just as much into this team as you guys. That damn bitch broke two of my limbs and I don't want her on the team. I don't give a damn about her fighting experience. She could join one of the other teams for all I care." shouted an angry Christina at Jenny.
"All I'm saying is that I feel this team could benefit from her fighting experience. Granted, she broke two of your limbs and you don't have to like her, but that doesn't mean she can't be part of our team. Besides, I'm the leader of this group and the champion of the league and what I say goes." replied a frustrated Jenny.
That just pushed Christina over the edge as she got in Jenny's face and starting yelling at her using obscenities. Jenny, not being the type to back down, got in Christina's face and started yelling back. It got so bad that Alyssa and Nikki had to separate their teammates.
A frustrated Alyssa spoke out "Guys, calm down, would you? I hate seeing the two of you fighting like this. We're a team here, remember that. There's got to be a way for one of you to compromise on this."
"Not likely." said a bitchy Christina.
"Watch it Christ." retorted Jenny as she reached for Chris.
Nikki and Alyssa were able to keep the two separated as they tried reaching for each other, Alyssa continued "Guys, relax for a second and listen to me, alright? Here's the deal and I hope the two of you can agree to this. The two of you agree to a match with each other tonight. If Jenny beats Chris tonight, CZJ gets part of our team. However, if Chris wins the match, CZJ doesn't get in. Can we agree to that?"
Jenny and Christina coldly stared at each other for a moment. Alyssa finally broke the silence by asking "Guys? Say something. Do you agree on the stipulation?" After a few seconds Jenny and Chris both mumbled that they agreed. Alyssa had the two shake hands and agree not to argue any more until match time.
It wasn't too many minutes after the agreement was reached that the match between the two teammates was to begin. The lights dimmed, the ABA's song came on and out came Christina walked out to the ring in a two piece thong outfit. She had a bitchy, determined look on her face as she got into the ring. She went to the opposite corner and waited for Jenny. It wasn't much long after that Jenny made her way down to the ring in a similar outfit and look on her face. Neither wrestler took their eyes off each other.
The two didn't wait for the bell to ring before they charged at each other and duking it out. The more experience Jenny was able to gain an advantage during this slug match and began to force Christina to back peddle to the corner turnbuckle. Jenny unleashed a series of karate chops to Christina's chest and breasts that not only caused her to yelp in pain but the sounds of the chops to reverberate throughout the ring.
Jenny whipped Christina into the opposite corner and followed right behind and rammed her shoulder into Christina's gut which lifted her slightly off the ground. Jenny rammed her shoulder into Christina's shoulder a few more times to weaken her even more. She finished with a hip toss throwing Christina onto her back in the middle of the ring. Christina was obviously in pain and trouble early in the match. She had to quickly rethink her strategy if she was going to win the match.
Jenny took a quick moment to play to the crowd a bit before turning her attention back to Christina. She stood over with a leg on either side of her body and began slapping her face mockingly. "Hey Chris, this is what it feels like to be taken apart by your leader and champion. You and I are going to remember this beating for a long time." screamed Jenny. Jenny continued her assault and with one swift move removed Christina's top so she could start her work on Christina's breasts.
Jenny's eyes soon widened with a look of pain and shock as Chris had unknown to her reached up with her hands and attacked her crotch with a pointed jab combo. From the laid down position that she was, grabbed Jenny's head with one hand and landed a few well placed punches to her cheeks and jaw. Chris rose to her feet and whipped Jenny off the ropes. On the return, Jenny ducked under Chris's attempt at a spin kick. She bounced off the other ropes but was met by Christina driving her shoulder into her gut and placing her flat on the mat. Christina reached up pummeled her face and chest with a series of vicious punches, slaps and chops.
Out of rage, she then began mauling Jenny's breasts with her bare hands. The referee counted to five before reprimanding Christina for her illegal attack. Christina got in the ref's face and told him to back off before he got the same treatment. She turned her attention back to Jenny who was now on her hands and knees. Seeing a golden opportunity to attack, she kicked Jenny in the stomach causing her legs to lift off the mat. Amazingly, she returned to being back on her hands and knees, whereupon Christina once again kicked her in the stomach. This time, Jenny fell back to the mat and held her stomach showing her pain in her face. Christina used Jenny's predicament lay into her further by kicking and stomping her chest and ribs. She culminated with a few knee drops to Jenny's throat.
Christina dragged Jenny to one of the sets of ropes, placed her foot on Jenny's throat and using the ropes for leverage increased the pressure on her throat. Jenny's lower body flailed trying to get out from under Christina's foot. The refereed got back in Chris's face after the five second count to have her release the hold. Christina held the hold for a few more seconds before getting off Jenny. Jenny rolled up holding her throat gasping and wheezing for air. She wasn't about to give up now. Christina reveled in her domination of Jenny as she gloated in front of the crowd. Christina pulled Jenny to her feet and forced her back to the center of the ring with a series of chops to her chest and breasts.
She hurled her off the ropes and when she came back she monkey flipped Jenny that sent her flailing. Instead of falling on her back, Jenny somehow stayed on he feet and in an amazing feat of athleticism did a back-flip off the ropes and one as she approached Christina with another flip. When Christina turned around, she expected to see Jenny on the ground, but instead saw Jenny back-flip into a handstand and slam both her feet into her face causing her to stumble back and onto her knees. Christina used the second rope for leverage. Jenny, sensing Christina being in disarray, bounced off the ropes, ran toward Christina and jumped on her back crushing her beasts and causing the air to leave her body. She repeated this move a couple more times, but on the third time, Christina was able to move out of the way causing Jenny to slip through the second rope and to the outside of the ring onto the cold and hard concrete floor with a loud thud.
Both wrestlers lay motionless for a few moments as the referee administered the count. Both found their way to their hands and knees, then to their feet before the ref finished the count. Christina struck first with a baseball slide under the bottom rope that pushed Jenny to the barricades separating them from the fans and to a sitting position. Christina grabbed Jenny by the hair and threw her into the steel stairs going into the ring. Jenny didn't have much left in her and Christina knew it. Christina walked over to Jenny and quickly removed her bra to return the favor from Jenny. Christina laid a few karate chops and slaps to Jenny's back side to weaken her even further. Jenny was losing control of her body and emotions as she yelled out in pain with each chop and slap. Wanting to end this match soon, Christina rolled Jenny into the ring and followed after her. Christina pulled Jenny to her feet and whipped her into the corner and followed up with a clothesline when she got there.
Christina continued her assault with a number of chops, slaps and punches to Jenny's body and especially her breasts. She soon concentrated again on her breasts by mauling them with her hands and digging into them with her nails. Jenny was now at wits end as she screamed like a banshee with the breast torture. The referee soon pulled away Christina and once again reprimanded her for her illegal tactics. The two got into an argument over this. With Christina's back to her, Jenny used the time to reach down to her bottom and pulled out a pair of brass knuckles. Christina and the ref finished arguing just as Jenny charged at Christina with the brass knuckles. Christina saw her soon enough and ducked under Jenny's wild punch. Christina put a small distance between the two after she ducked. She connected with a sidekick to Jenny's head as she turned around causing her head to snap back and for her to stumbled backwards a few steps. Jenny dropped the brass knuckles as she was hit.
Christina charged Jenny and jumped up just before she got there and connected with a pair of kicks to her stomach and chest pushing Jenny back even further toward the turnbuckle and for her to groan loudly from the pain of the kicks. Upon landing on her feet, Christina once again leaped up into the air, spun around and connected with a sidekick to Jenny's chest which sent her flying into the corner turnbuckle. Jenny's arms draped over the third turnbuckle, her head bobbed about and her knees were wobbling about as she was barely able to stand. Christina confidently walked over to Jenny and began to mockingly slap her face around and verbally taunting her to fight back in her weakened state. Seeing that she is unable to fight back began to lay on the punches to Jenny's torso as though it were a punching bag. She then took a few steps back, charged at Jenny and slammed into her with her back and started to walk away. Somehow realizing that Jenny has dropped to a sitting position, Christina turned around and looked at Jenny with a smug smile on her face and put her hands on her hips. Jenny's arms were now draped over the second rope, her head leaning on the second turnbuckle seeing stars and breathing heavily from her assault.
Intending to now humiliate her beaten leader, Christina once again approaches Jenny with a sadistic look on her face. Through her half closed eyes, Jenny could see the look on Christina's face. She extended her arms, started shaking her head and pleading with Christina not do what she has planned, but Christina doesn't listen and approaches still. When she reaches Jenny, Christina pushes aside Jenny's arms, turns around and rubs her butt on Jenny's face imitating Rikishi's 'stink-face' maneuver. Jenny's arms and legs were flailing as Christina did the stink-face.
After a short while of doing the stink-face, Christina finally stood up and faced Jenny who was trying to catch her breath and had a look of shock and horror on her face as she looked at Christina. Christina reached down and pulled a squealing Jenny up to her feet again by her hair. She basically dragged Jenny to the center of ring, got in her face and yelled at her "Time to get a taste of your own medicine bitch." With that she reached with both her hands behind Jenny's head and shoved it between her breasts. Jenny tried every which way to free herself from the breast smother, but to no avail, she was simply too weak and beaten to get out of the hold. Christina forced Jenny to her knees and then to her back continuing the breast smother the whole way. Slowly but surely Jenny's punching and clawing turned to weak, intermittent slaps and finally her arms dropped to her side as she slipped into unconsciousness. The referee dropped by Jenny to administer the count. He lifted Jenny's arm up and dropped it for a one count. He repeated it for the second count. Before he lifted Jenny's arm up for the third time, Christina looked at the ref and told him in no uncertain terms "Give me a ten count ref." Not wanting to upset Christina any more than she already is, agreed to administer the ten count. He continued to lift and drop Jenny's arm until he counted to ten, after which Christina released Jenny's head and was declared the winner.
She went outside to where Jenny's bra was and picked it up. She then went to a male fan and talked him into giving her his water bottle and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She went back into the ring walked over to Jenny and rolled her over to her stomach. She then used Jenny's bra to tie her hands behind her back, rolled her on her back and straddled her. She then splashed some water on Jenny's face waking her up. She shook her head a bit and blinked a few times to clear her head. She felt her hands tied behind her back and asked Christina to release her.
"I'm not going to release you until I hear what I want and you know what that is." demanded Christina.
"Please Chris, don't do this to me. You've beaten and humiliated me already. Now release me already." sighed Jenny.
Christina smacked Jenny and reprimanded her saying "That's not what I wanted to hear. It's about the Crippler damn-it."
"Geez, for crying out loud. We made the agreement about her and you won. She's not getting in, alright? Now release me." said an aggravated Jenny.
"That's what I wanted to hear. Now, I just want one last thing before I release you." said a smiling Christina as she maneuvered her feet above Jenny's face. "Kiss and lick my feet." Jenny gave Christina a bitchy look but couldn't do anything due to her position, complied with Christina's request as she puckered up and kissed and licked both her feet. After a moment of that Christina planted her feet on the mat and stood up. "Next time Jenny, don't mess with me or I won't be as forgiving as this time." She then released Jenny from her bondage and helped her up. The two then slowly walked back to their locker room in silence and watching each other carefully.
The New Bad Ass Champion!!!
Jenny crawls away without her title and her leadership mantle
BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO JENNY McCARTHY
TO CHRISTINA APPLEGATE
* MJH pounds the Cat
** Cat Cripples Christina