ThE RoCk tHe BoAt CrUiSe! 3
NATALIE PORTMAN VS JESSICA ALBA
"It was just humiliating!" Jessica Alba exclaims talking to the league's studio advisor, Quatro Calderon. "My agent and I were talking to the casting agent for the new Heyman movie, and he laughed in my face when I said I wanted the lead part." An angry Alba continues, "Then he said that Natalie Portman was very interested in the role, and they would get back to me, if Natalie doesn't take it." Jessica took deep breaths with distress clearly on her face, as her mind was still rushing with thoughts, memories and ideas.
"Natalie is an Academy award winner. That carries a lot with the critics and putting butts in movie theater seats." Calderon explains. "I'll get you a quality role. Don't worry about it."
"Then I called Avi about a movie role. It was just a supporting role that was just a step up from eye candy. I reminded him that me in spandex was pretty much the only reason to watch his two lousy Fantastic Four movies. I said he owed me one. He knows that I want more substantial roles now. A couple of weeks later, he calls me back and says someone else wanted the part. Guess who it was! It was Natalie Portman! He said he argued for me, but market research proved that Natalie would be more favorable to the fans. I asked what fucking proof? Then he emails me a poll that 51% of the movie's target audience picked Natalie being hotter than me!"
"Those polls don't mean anything." Calderon explains. "It all depends on the criteria for the audience, I've seen some insane results. It's been a long time since Sin City and you were the undisputed hottest thing around. A lot of people forget quickly. Natalie has got the cool, Thor thing, going on now, while you've got the Cagney and Lacey type role in LA's Finest these days.
Jessica adds, "Do you know what I think? I think that Natalie is sabotaging me from getting roles! The jealous bitch has a vendetta because I was always the hot girl and was on all the magazine covers. I was the one everyone that wasn't a Star Wars fanatic knew my name instead of her's. Now she's using her influence as a leading actress to keep me out of substantial roles."
"Jess calm down and be reasonable." Calderon knows that Alba tends to fly off the handles sometimes. "I've worked with Natalie before. She's not like that."
"No I want a match with Natalie Portman." Jessica demands. "I want the producers and the fans to see me stomp Natalie into the ground. Then we'll see who's hotter or better for what acting roles."
"Whoah!" Calderon exclaims. "Not a match with Natalie. That doesn't make any sense. Slow down." Calderon starts debating. "You're too valuable to be wasting your time fighting Natalie. Do you realize when your name is mentioned in the Fab's dressing room it gets quiet enough to hear a pin drop? Then you hear knocking sounds; that's Tia Carrere, Jessica Biel and Kim Kardashian's knees knocking. If I say that you're on the way, then I'll need a mop because those three pussies will start pissing their panties. Why not a match against one of them or any of the Fab bitches? That makes more sense. I can fix this problem with Natalie for you. Let me fix that and you kick Zoe Saldana's ass for what she did to you at ThE RoCk tHe BoAt CrUiSe! 2"
"No I don't want you to fix it!" Alba answers definitively. "I want you to get me a match with Natalie! I'll fix Zoe sooner or later. Besides after I crushed Kim Kardashian and had 80,000 people call her a 'fat ass whore' while she cried like a baby, I felt vindicated. Ebony Ayes and Christina Applegate said they couldn't get the match for ThE RoCk tHe BoAt CrUiSe! 3. I need you to use your studio influence to get the match on the card!"
"My Disney contributors will not be happy if their new Thor suffers an embaressing defeat in the ring. Deals must be made and debts must be paid. If I pull this off, and that is a big if, you will owe me a couple of favors. First, Gabrielle Union, your LA's Finest co-star, convince her to leave the ABA and join your group, the Resistance. The ABA is one of my targets, and I will leave them in shambles. Unlike the Fabs that I have to meet head on, it's easier to destroy the ABA from within. Just manipulate a few situations and let their own nature devour them.
"Deal, I'll try" Jessica immediately answers. "There is a chance gabby will make the jump with the proper incentives. But you know Gabby. She's going to do what she wants’ to do. I can't make any promises."
"I understand" Calderon calmly answers. "Don't be surprised if I as for additional compensation if you can't." Calderon adds with a smile.
Wheels turned and deals were made until Jessica Alba got her wish; Natalie Portman in the ring. The second match of the unique ThE RoCk tHe BoAt CrUiSe! 3 format. The four luxury liners dock at an exotic island location. Locals and fans on the cruise pile off into a stadium for first, a concert. Keri Hilson performs first with hits from,Turnin Me On, Knock You Down to Pretty Girl Rock. Next Britain's Got Talent judge Alesha Dixon takes the stage. She sang The Boy Does Nothing and Breathe Slow amongst other hits. Britney Spears is the headliner, but she performs after Portman and Alba faces off. The match gives stage hands plenty of time to prepare the stage for the high energy and extravagant Britney Show.
At the time for the match, Natalie and Jessica are both in the ring waiting for the bell while wearing sexy string bikini's. Both women cannot wait to get at each other. The two rivals eagerly want to settle any debate about who is better. The bell could not ring fast enough for either of them. As soon as it sounds both women race out of their corners and lock up collar and elbow when they meet.
The stalemate does not last long. Natalie's knee shoots up and hits Jessica in the belly. Jessica doubles over immediately. "Come here!" Natalie grunts as she grabs Jessica's hair and pulls Jessica's head between Natalie's thighs. Natalie squeezes her legs locking Jessica in a standing headscissor. "Nice ass!" Natalie quips with a smile as she gives Jessica's ass a good slap with Jessica heplessly bent over. Then Natalie grabs Jessica's bikini bottoms with both hands and gives it a real good tug. The fabric disappears between Jessica's ass cheeks. "Wedgie time!", Natalie playfully shouts. Once done with her juvenile fun, Natalie hops and wrenches Jessica's neck as she does. Natalie opens her legs allowing Jessica to drop to her hands and knees.
Natalie steps over Jessica, then grabs her around the neck and chest and falls to her back. Jessica is on top of Natalie, but she is the one trapped. Natalie has a rear chin lock on Jessica with one arm around her neck from behind. Natalie's legs intertwine with Jessica's legs, trapping them. Natalie is in total control. She advances her position by entangling Jessica's arms in a full nelson lock. Natalie is able to press down on Jessica's neck making her whine and squeal. "You're a stupid bitch!" Natalie insults. "Do you think that I've got time for petty bullshit like interfering in your measly career?"
"You're a jealous cunt!" Jessica snaps back. "Despite all your big roles and awards, more people still know my name more than yours!" Jessica keeps struggling and wiggling in Natalie's grasps. "My face is better known than yours". Jessica is taller and stronger than Natalie and is able to loosen one arm. Seeing her grasp fleeting, she lets go of that arm and starts crushing one of Jessica's tits with her newly freed hand. Jessica squeals and her body cringes. Jessica is able to pry one finger away from her boob and bend that finger back. Natalie shouts and releases Jessica and pushes her away to keep her finger intact.
As both women are scrambling to their feet, the more experienced grappler, Jessica reaches out and pushes Natalie over while she is off balance. Jessica rises while Natalie falls back down. Then Jessica reaches back down and grabs Natalie by her bikini top and snatches Natalie harshly to her feet. Natalie’s top is loosened and dislodged and expose her breasts. Natalie gasps in shock. "Don't worry. You don't have much to look at." Jessica jealously snips. Jessica continues jerking Natalie to her feet, and then slips behind Natalie. She quickly pulls Natalie's bikini top strings until she unties it. Then she jerks the top's ends back and pulls the top around Natalie's neck.
Natalie goes crazy being strangled by her own bikini top. She thrashes and jerks around wildly. Natalie came here to grope a smoke hot body, to shut up a big mouth bitch and espectially, the 3 million dollar payday, but not for a death match. She did not expect this dirty tactic out of Jessica, but she figured out how to adjust fast enough. Natalie reaches her hand back and feels out Jessica’s face. Then she drives her thumb into Jessica's eye socket and tries to press Jessica's eyeball in. Jessica shouts loudly and abandons Natalie's top to get Natalie's thumb out of her eye.
Natalie wheels around to face Jessica and is totally pissed. The gall of Jessica taking this match to this level infuriates Natalie. "Really bitch? It's that serious to choke me to death?" Natalie shouts. The Academy award winner growls like an animal and starts punching. Natalie takes out all of her anger and aggression on Jessica's rig cage. Only seeing out of one eye, Jessica twists and turns like a tree in a storm. She sees the crazed look in Natalie's eyes. Her anger makes her hit harder, but Natalie is blinded to much else.
Jessica reels backward towards the ropes knowing that Natalie would follow. But she created some distance between them. It was enough for Jessica to strike with a kick to Natalie's gut. That gets Natalie off of her. Jessica lunges and leaps up in the air at Natalie and nails her rival on the top of the head with a bionic elbow move. Natalie wobbles and is dazed and confused by the clubbering blow to the crown of her head. It stunned her long enough for Jessica to scoop Natalie up and body slam her to the canvas. Jessica reaches down for her victim. However Natalie grabs Jessica by the arms and with a mighty tug and jerk, Natalie's arm drag sends Jessica tumbling head over heels and sliding across the mat.
Natalie is up and on Jessica almost immediately. Natalie pulls Jessica up to a seated position from behind. She clasps her fingers together under Jessica's chin and pulls back while planting her knee against Jessica's back. "Nobody is jealous of you, delusional nut job!" Natalie angrily explains while applying her surfboard hold. "I'll explain this one time." Natalie continues. "I'm a three time Academy award nominee with one win for Best Actress. Meanwhile you are a four time Razzie award Worst actress nominee and one time winner for Worst Actress." Natalie jerks back on Jessica's neck harshly. "Get it! Me... Best actress... You... Worst actress. That means I get great acting jobs while you get jobs that only need a talking chimp with a pretty face and tits."
Now Jessica is getting thoroughly pissed. Calling her a terrible actress is a sure fire way to find an ass kicking. To add more insult to injury, Natalie adds, "That is what Calderon was politely trying to explain to your dumb ass!". Since Natalie is already pulling her backwards, Jessica reaches back further until she can grab a handful of Natalie's hair. Natalie gets weary that the more experienced fighter is about to turn the tables on her. So Natalie releases Jessica and pushes her away to find another way to secure an advantage.
Natalie is up quickly while Jessica takes a bit longer. Once standing they lock up again. After brief pushing, Jessica snares Natalie by the arm and whips her into the ropes. Natalie is whipped into the ropes then rebounds off and comes back. Jessica gets up a head of steam and blasts Natalie with a clothesline. Natalie's feet are taken out from under her and she lands flat on her back. Not allowing any mercy for the 'award winning actress', Jessica jerks Natalie right back up to her feet. Jessica slings Natalie right back into the ropes. Natalie rebounds to see Jessica bend over for a back drop at the last instant. At that last moment in time Natalie leaps and flips over Jessica and grabs her by the waist as she flips over to execute a Sunset flip. Jessica winds up on her back, with Natalie in a seated position holding her down with her legs across Jessica's arms. Natalie gets a two count before Jessica can kick free to avoid the pinfall.
Jessica scurries away in disbelief. Natalie has proven to be a formidable foe. She demanded this match to show how far superior that she was than Natalie. So far Natalie has proven that her success as an actress and multiple awards are no accident. Jessica is proving to be a loud mouth bit of fluff with little substance. She is proving a perfect candidate for eye candy or a sex kitten movie role.
Natalie is up and standing looking composed. Jessica rises looking more frantic. Both are very aware of the situation. The heavy favorite Jessica Alba is being matched at every move by a less achieved foe, Natalie Portman. The looks on their faces say it all. They go to lock up yet again, but Jessica slips the lock up, and reaches down and grabs one of Natalie's legs and jerks it out from under her. Very quickly Natalie falls onto her back. Jessica grabs both of Natalie's ankles and spreads her legs apart enough to stomp down on Natalie's pussy. Jessica takes deep breaths as she keeps stomping on Natalie's pussy and grinding her foot on it too. Jessica starts to focus and enter the zone. She needs to enter the role of the vision of success and start changing her stereotype. So, Jessica does a coldhearted precision step on Natalie's cunt.
Natalie's championship metal resurfaced and she is finally able to kick Jessica off of her. Jessica is propelled away several steps. Natalie is trying to rise, while with one hand holding her crotch. When Natalie is halfway up, Jessica steps up with a super kick to Natalie's jaw. The sound resounds through the stadium. Natalie drops to the mat with stars floating around her head. Jessica reaches down and grabs Natalie by the hair and pulls her up to her knees. She held her dazed prey up by her mane. "Not bad for a chimp with tits?" Jessica asks. Natalie more or less dangles there with a distant look in her eyes. Then she pulls Natalie up higher and tucks Natalie's head under her arm then falls backward and DDT's Natalie's head into the canvas.
Natalie certainly understands why Calderon warned her against taking this match. After two savage strike to her head, Natalie is knocked loopy. She rises up to her hands and knees. Jessica is there to again help by hauling Natalie up by her hair. Suddenly there is another resurgence out of Natalie. She knocks Jessica's arms away and Natalie starts firing forearms and chops at Jessica. The crowd rises and gets behind the spunky under sized scrapper. At first Jessica did not respond to Natalie's assault. She just stood and took the fury. In her mindset, the blows did not really hurt. But after hearing the fans backing Natalie, that ignited a torch in Jessica. Then she explodes with fists and chops of her own. Jessica and Natalie stood their brawling like wild women. That does not last too long before Jessica out brawls Natalie. The smaller hellcat cannot keep up. Jessica is hitting harder than she could, faster than she could and with more desire than Natalie had.
Finally Natalie starts wobbling backwards. Her brain is in a haze. Jessica steps up and scoops Natalie up in her arms, but instead of a body slam, she drops Natalie throat first on the top rope. Natalie bounces off the ropes and falls to the mat. However she had the where with all to roll out of the ring. Natalie rolled to her feet but she is beleaguered. The gorgeous actress coughs and gags from the throat drop, but is still dinged from the head shots too.
Jessica's eyes sparkle. The point of taking this match was to prove she has the same habits, qualities and characteristics of the award winning actress. Hopefully this ring success will translate to getting equal consideration for movies as Natalie. Natalie is shaky and topless teetering outside, while Jessica has her full bikini and looking scrumptious inside the ring, Jessica wants to really impress. She takes a running start and leaps through the ropes with a suicide dive. Jessica dives right into Natalie's chest like a bullet. Natalie takes the full brunt of the collision. She is propelled backwards and slams into the ringside barrier. Natalie goes down to her hands and knees. To her credit gets back up and stands on unstable legs, holding her back.
Jessica is not having this. She is not through with her 'audition'. Jessica slides back in the ring even as Natalie is just starting to rise. She races to the other side of the ring and bounds off the ropes on the opposite side. She darts back and leaps over the top ropes, this time to come crashing down on top of Natalie. At the last second Natalie ducks and rolls away from Jessica's daredevil cross body aerial plancha over the top rope to the stadium floor. Jessica flops tits first to the stadium floor from a great hight. Her body sounds like a wet towel hitting the mats around the ring. Fans audibly respond to the sickening thud.
Jessica immediately curls up into a ball. This miscue hurts more than she thought. Jessica never tried moves like this before, and promises not to do it again. Natalie was grateful for the respite. She caught a little bit of her breath then went over and started stomping and kicking Jessica's body. Natalie now knows that she is out gunned in this fight. She has to take advantage of every opportunity. Natalie hauls Jessica to her feet. "Talking chimps with tits aren't much on thinking are they?" Natalie asks and whips Jessica into a very nearby iron ring post. Jessica's body splats against the unforgiving metal. Before Jessica has another thought, Natalie materializes behind her and grabs her hair to slam Jessica’s face into the ring post, not once but twice. Finally Jessica is stunned and totally dazed, tottering on shaky legs. Natalie finally feels some confidence.
Natalie rolls Jessica into the ring and slides into the ring after her. Natalie rises to her knees. She grabs Jessica by the hair to hold her in place and plant a few punches to her face. After two, Jessica gets her hand up and catches Natalie's fist before it hits it's mark again. Jessica twists the fist and wrist making Natalie scream. Natalie releases her hold on Jessica's hair and of course that was what Jessica was waiting for. She seizes Natalie's other hand immediately the twists it too. Jessica gets another scream out of her rival.
With Natalie trapped and paralyzed with pain, Jessica now powers up to her feet. Natalie stands too. With both standing Jessica changes her grip. She let's go of the fists and locks hands with Natalie for a knuckle lock test of strength. This was supposed to give Natalie a sporting chance, but it only demoralized and humiliated Natalie. Jessica overpowers Natalie is a short time. She bends Natalie's hands backwards and sent her sinking to her knees with a wail. Natalie shouted and struggled, but Jessica impressively held Natalie down. Even Natalie's most staunch fans give up on their favorite. She looks rather pitiful on her knees at Jessica's feet. Next Jessica strikes with her foot, kicking Natalie in the chest. Natalie shouts with every thud to her chest. Then Jessica finds the mark and knees Natalie in the face several times. Natalie's head bobs back and forth with every hard strike to her face. Once Jessica stops and lets go of Natalie's hands, the award winner pitches forward flat on her face.
Jessica throws her arms out to accept some appreciation from the fans. They cheer and give Jessica the reception that she desired. Besides, few were willing to admit that they were wrong by betting on the chick flat on her face and not moving a single bit. When Jessica finally returns her attention to her opponent, she starts yelling for Natalie to get up. Natalie hears the taunts but is lost in a world of hurt. Jessica can call her a "Flat chested freak" all she wants, but Natalie cannot rise. All she musters is pushing her upper body off the canvas. Jessica was thirsty to inflict more pain, she comes running in and executes a low dropkick to Natalie's face. Natalie's body and head snaps back and she pitches face first to the mat again.
It is showtime for Jessica once again. She climbs on the middle turnbuckle in the corner and plays to her fans in the stadium. Jessica takes her time, visiting all four corners of the ring and drinking in the cheers of the crowd. Poor Natalie has become an afterthought, but she the match is not over, and she refuses to go down being disrespected like this. Natalie pops up off the mat and charges in behind Jessica. She slams Jessica in the back and jerks her down by her bikini bottoms. Natalie clobbers Jessica will all she could muster, and that is not a whole lot at this point. Jessica actually laughs while Natalie unloads on her.
Jessica slips one of Natalie's punches and grabs Natalie's arm as it passes by. In a fluid motion, Jessica snatches the arm and pulls Natalie to the mat. Natalie is on her belly again when Jessica's legs jet up and scissors her arm. Jessica locks her hands under Natalie's chin. Soon Natalie is trapped in Jessica's very familiar finishing hold, the Crippler Crossface. Natalie screams like a scream queen from a B movie. Jessica applies the pressure knowing that the match is over.
Natalie knows that this hold reduced the great Jessica Biel to tears. The hold totally broke Biel; not only her, but Tia Carrere and Kim Kardashian too. Knowing what the Crippler Crossface can do, Natalie holds on for a while, but taps out before Jessica turns her into a broken sniveling bitch like the others. Jessica wants to maintain her hold like she did against, Biel, Carrere and Kardashian to totally break Natalie, but Calderon warned her against trying that on Disney's new Thor. So after a few more seconds of frantic tapping the mat, Jessica releases her hold.
Jessica rolls Natalie over onto her back. She points a finger at Natalie, threatening her, "If you hear my name going for a role, you better stay away from it, if you're as smart as they say you are." Natalie glared back but not to the level of defiance. Jessica stands and throws her arms up in victory. The crowd roars, as Jessica places her foot down on Natalie's bare chest. Natalie laid there until her pride would not allow anymore. Finally Natalie tries to knock Jessica's foot off her chest. Jessica repositions her foot and presses down harder, then looks down at Natalie with a mean sneer. Then she returns to her victory pose. Jessica makes Natalie wait longer before she ends her display of victory.
Jessica leaves the ring, allowing a very humbled Natalie to exit soon after. There is a brief intermission, then Britney Spears takes the stage to close the night out at the stadium. Jessica has an all-star victory party later of course.
After Natalie has cleaned up after her match, She is visited by the infamous Quatro Calderon. "Impressive match Natalie.", Calderon compliments the actress. "I think we can work together. There is a place for you in the second wave of my group after I get rid Stone Rage. I'm glad that we were able to make a deal.' Calderon smiles. "There will be a new trainer on the set of Thor: Love and Thunder for you and Tessa Thompson. After my trainer gets through working with you and Tessa, the two of you will be slapping Jessica Alba, or whoever you want around in no time. I've got big plans for you and Tessa. You will be headlining multimillion dollar main events in no time."
BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO NATALIE PORTMAN
TO JESSICA ALBA
TO ThE RoCk tHe BoAt CrUiSe! 3
TO Studio Specter
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