KELLY HU
Born: February 13th, 1968 Height: 5' 5" Weight: 122lbs Eyes: Dark Brown Orientation: Bisexual Measurements: 34A-24-34 Years Catfighting: 21
Previous League: BZL (defunct), SF-CF, GNE (Great Northwestern Apartment League), G3L, Video-1 (V1), NNL (Japan), Aloha League of Ladies (Hawaii)
Previous Belts: SF-CF Femme Fatale 2x’s, GNE Champ 1x, G3L Champ 1x, G3L IC Champ 2x’s, NNL World Champ 2x’s, NNL Queen of Honshu 2x’s, NNL Hokkaido Queen 1x, NNL Kyushu Queen 2x’s, Shikoku Queen 5x’s, Shikoku Street Fighting Champion 3x’s, Aloha League Kahuna (Champion) 3x’s
Finishing Moves: K-1 KICK! (Full Extension, Jumping Front kick to the bitches HEART-TIT!), E.C.H.! (Cunt-kick to stoop and stun, then hip-toss! She keeps her hold and forces them
up again for a second and then repeats it with a THIRD RELEASE HIP-TOSS! She immediately gets up and hits them with a JUMPING LEG-DROP TO EITHER THE TITS OR THROAT!), 2nd Strike! (Grabs opponent by their hair and then hits them with an Over-the-Shoulder HIP-TOSS! She then pulls them up and strikes them with a Left-handed Open-Palm to their armpit and right-tit! She then hits them with a Right-handed Open-Palm strike to their left armpit and heart-tit! She finishes with a JUMPING SPIN-KICK STRAIGHT BETWEEN THE TITS!)
Strengths: Veteran Experience and has been catfighting internationally, great fighter, great speed moves, great technical moves, ultra-aggressive, attacks weaknesses early and often, knows how to stay on an opponent, fast, good at pressuring and pressing her momentum on opponents, abilities increase with momentum, Mistress of Dirty Tactics, good brawler, understands BDSM, great showmanship, good ring awareness, does not
submit under normal circumstances, eager to kowtow to power after failing miserably during the Escape From Las Vegas Odyssey of the Fab-4, due to her loss she is looking for management/leadership and coaching and has a strong desire to serve someone, abilities increase with manager/master/mistress, eager to submit to power
Weaknesses: Due to her failure as a Rescue Ranger during the Escape From Las Vegas Odyssey she has lost a lot of her confidence, she used to be too aggressive at times and probably will be again once her confidence returns, ring awareness decreases as match goes against her or if she is overconfident, prideful and arrogant which can cause her to be duped and tricked/this may or may not increase pending on her new master or mistress, can be whittled away at, breaking her momentum continuously wears her out mentally, ambushing her causes her to take damage like a bitch and she rarely recovers, currently traumatized by her
treatment by Jeri Ryan and Lisa Lipps, low psyche because of her absolute failure during Escape From Las Vegas, she hates Jeri Ryan and Lisa Lipps but is vulnerable to them due to the ass-whipping they put on her, much like Lucy Liu she becomes extremely vulnerable if she misses her Finisher moves, power moves do abnormal damage and so do brawling moves, tits
The Flavor of the Month… That is how Kelly has dealt with the massive failure that her catfighting career has become. The Flavor of the Month. It is something she has heard all too often about herself… and her hated rival Lucy Liu. “Oh, those two Asian bitches? They’re just the fuckin Flavor of the Month. You don’t call on them for serious shit, just for some eye-candy crap and shit like that. Then you toss’em away till you need’em again.” She’d done very well as a celebrity catfighter, but she could never quite get in good enough to really reach that mainstream appeal that always eluded her in this area. She waited too late to skip from the G3L to the XCF and before she knew it, the XCF was gone! She continued to push her career, but she’d lost much of her White mainstream audience once Nash Bridges and
Martial Law ended. She especially made a bit of a gaffe with a comment about Sammo Hung and it kept coming back to bite her, and not in that good way either. Things slowed down dramatically and she finally had no choice but to try to push her way back into celebrity catfighting to try to open up some doors that going through the normal agent channels, just wasn’t opening anything. She quickly got back in by joining the Great Northwestern Apartment League. She became the champion and had a great run which opened the door for her to skip out and move up to the SF-CF using her credit from Jason Takes Manhattan as a means to get into the Sci-Fi catfight league.
But what she really wanted was to get into Stone Rage’s exponentially growing, Battle Zone League. However, she also found herself getting compared more and more to Lucy Liu, something that irked both actresses, but grated especially hard on Hu since she actually fought long before the current craze of celebrity catfighting. Unlike Lucy, Kelly actually grew up whippin-ass and taking names! Eventually becoming a bully and needing to slow her roll! Her cocky attitude though, did help her to push forward as a model and it helped her blaze actual Asian American history, while all she saw Lucy Liu doing was blazing Asian American buffoonery! Having toured as a model and as a catfighter in Japan and Europe, Kelly found it downright insulting that Liu was getting more opportunities than her with Stone Rage. Then Kelly’s luck took
a turn for the better when Scorpion King was a box-office HIT in 2002! Opportunities started opening up again and Hu began gaining ground in popularity on Liu. The two had a brief feud in 03, but since neither could find a professional venue to fight it out in, they actually had a Street Fight! This was broken up by Lucy Liu’s management literally in MID-FIGHT! Liu’s stock had risen considerably past Hu’s and Hu was unaware that near the end of that year Liu would star in the Grindhouse homage movie of Quentin Tarantino’s, Kill Bill Volume One!
It was at this time that Kelly gained a new attaché and personal assistant, Amber Erickson. Erickson worked diligently and actually got Hu into the X-Men sequel, X2. Erickson was very disappointed with Kelly’s rewritten character of Lady Deathstrike, but X2 did major box-office mojo! However, Hu’s character was nowhere near as central as Liu’s O-Ren in KBV1, so Kelly went on the offensive again to try to drag Lucy out of her way! Erickson would begin getting Kelly backdoor deals and straight to production spots on TV and Cable, without Kelly even having to put up with the dreaded “casting couch” crap of Hollywood. Lucy Liu, fell out of catfighting swearing that KBV1 would open all the doors she would ever need or want. This also caused her to fall off of her limited appearances in Stone Rage’s celebrity catfight league. Erickson gave Kelly the inside scoop on Rage’s “disappointment” with Lucy’s lack of dedication to his promotion and “let her go”. But Amber made it crystal clear that one of her sources close to Stone Rage said he was livid with Lucy’s decision making and shitty attitude. And her sudden “decision” to skip out was the last fuckin straw! So!?!? Kelly quickly closed in and found herself on Stone Rage’s short list to replace the temperamental Liu. Kelly’s chance came when Stone Rage’s main group, the Fab-4, went to Sin City to find J-Lo. Only to find themselves caught in a huge ambush by all of the other groups of the Battle Zone League! Outmanned and outgunned! Stone Rage called up the reserves and gave them a simple order “Go to Las Vegas, and assist the Fab-4!” This group had no official name and was composed of Kelly herself, Tyra Banks, Roselyn Sanchez and Jaime Pressly.
Although the ABA originally called them the “Not So Fabulous-4”. They have since been dubbed the Rescue Rangers by the internet celebrity catfighting bloggers, especially in light of what happened to them. Amber, as soon as Kelly told her that she was headed out of town to help the Fab-4 in Vegas, vehemently protested that Kelly shouldn’t GO! But all Kelly saw was an opportunity, which Amber quickly told her, was a false opportunity! Amber, in actuality was one Geese Howard’s top Maid Enforcers, Mason Marconi. She’d been sent by Geese years ago to keep an eye on Kelly and keep her out of trouble. Geese
had long been building his way up in his hobbied hopes of creating his own celebrity catfighting promotion, and he thought that Kelly Hu would be a great core member to whenever or whatever federation he put together. But Geese knew about Kelly’s not-so-hidden past of Pride Fighting, and the fact that she wasn’t afraid to beat the crap out of a man or woman. She’d been away from that element far too long, and Geese had become concerned that she was still living off of her old street fighting skills, while she’d been chasing paper in Hollywood for far longer than she’d been consistently cat and street fighting. Mason attempted numerous times to tell Kelly that she and the others didn’t even work together at all! And that they were all blinded by possibilities while going up against a host of groups that had actual history working together as teams! They didn’t stand a snowballs chance in hell in helping anybody since they couldn’t even
stick together long enough to get out to Vegas as at least a phony looking FRONT!
That was the last thing that Amber remembered before getting bitch-slapped to the ground. She’d forgotten that her cover was that of a personal assistant and nothing more. She also came awfully close to tell Kelly that Stone Rage was using her and the others as a distraction to get the heat off of his favored Fab-4 bitches. Mason knew that Geese would never issue orders and send a bunch of bitches with not one moment of ever working together, more importantly… If the Fab-4 meant so much to Stone Rage, far as Mason was concerned, he should have led Kelly and the others out there himself. Vince McMahon has done it. Eric Bishoff has done it, hell even Vince Russo!?!? Has led his handpicked people to battle against those who challenge his authority, but Stone Rage? All Mason could do was watch helplessly as Kelly told her that she was fuckin FIRED! Pack up her shit and get the fuck out! But Mason knew that Kelly was doomed… and sure enough? Each one of the Rescue Rangers ran off in search of something personal that connected them to Stone Rage’s suicide order. And each one was summarily picked off, beaten down, and humiliated… BADLY! For Kelly? It was a devastating loss and even worse she was rescued by Halle, which added insult to injury. Once back at the hidden villa that the Fab-4 had tucked away for the Rescue Rangers, it was Mason that was already there… And it was Mason that took Kelly back to California by private jet, to try and get away from the media circus that was hot on their heels…
"My brother taught me how to fight. I was the neighborhood bully."
-Kelly Hu
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