Uncivil War THE REVENGE OF THE RESISTANCE ThE RoCk tHe BoAt CrUiSe!
JESSICA SIMPSON VS KELLY CLARKSON
For the Songbird Championship
All resemblance of life in Generation Next has been in shambles since Alyssa Milano's betrayal and departure. The close knit group and friendship vanished. Rather than face the pain and emotions of their betrayal, each woman chose to dive into their careers and their personal lives, and ignore the situation all together. That plan worked for most of the year, until it came time for Kelly Clarkson to defend her Songbird title. Kelly tried to prepare on her on as Shakira did for her Bootylicous Title defense against Kim Kardashian, but without the rest of the team, she is failing. Finally she reaches out to Nelly Furado and Shakira for help.
Kelly calls her friend saying, "Shakira, I'm freakin' out man. This fight is coming up, and I'm no where near ready. I need your help."
Shakira was pretty eager to help Kelly out. Especially since her opponent was Jessica Simpson. "Chill out Kelly." Shakira assures. "There's no way I'm letting a tramp like Jessica win that match. I'll be down to help you. We're kicking Jessica's ass just like we did last time."
When Kelly made the same plea to Nelly, she gets a different response. Nelly was too committed to her new cd, and engagements with her new husband to assist with her training. However she did agree to make the ThE RoCk tHe BoAt CrUiSe! after a little encouraging from her mates.
Once Shakira and Kelly started working together, they realized that the 'sisterhood' of the team was genuine, and Alyssa had nothing to do with it. It was nothing of Alyssa's construct, Kelly and Shakira really got along and were good friends. Slowly it begins to creep into their minds that the guidance, coaching, and preparation that made both Shakira and Kelly champions was of Alyssa's construct. Although Shakira did her best to recreate Alyssa's training regimen, it lacked the veteran's effectiveness. Although at the end Kelly felt prepared, just not as prepared as she did when Alyssa was around.
Once they boarded the cruise and met with Nelly, they sensed she was obviously distant from the two of them. Luckily there was three days before Kelly's match. Over those days, the trio quickly rebonded. Their sisterhood was reborn. Kelly could not be happier to have her friends back. She wants it to last forever.
Jessica's journey to the boat was quite different. She has new 'friends' in her life. Jessica happily joined The Resistance following her bout with Pamela Anderson at the BATTLELINES PPV. The Resistance is a new group determined to bring down the current power structure that is largely influenced by the Fab Four and the ABA. It was their combined efforts, star power, and influence that obtained her this championship opportunity. "Championship opportunity? No this is a payback opportunity. This fight is about revenge, pure and simple. This is personal between me and Shakira and Kelly." Jessica said in one of her rare interviews leading to this match.
Jessica is normally a media whore before her matches, but has oddly avoided the cameras leading to this bout. She avoided the lime light and trained. Jessica trained harder for this fight than she did for her colossal main event against Britney Spears. Harder than her Fatal Fourway match for the War Queen title, and harder than her big match against Pam Anderson. All she did was dwell on the history between these four women.
It started when Jessica accepted a match with Shakira. It was Shakira's first match in the Battle Zone. Shakira boasted and bragged all the way to the ring that she could beat Jessica with one hand tied behind her back. In short, Jessica completely annihilated Shakira in the ring. Jessica humbled the singer and gave her the beating of a lifetime, and left her to be carted out on a stretcher. Jessica thought it ended there. However it ignited a flame in Shakira. That defeat drove her to become a champion, beating the league’s elite like Alicia Silverstone, and Beyonce and earning the Bootylicious title.
Shakira's special friend, Kelly knew how much that loss to Jessica bothered Shakira. She wanted to avenge that loss for her friend. She tried to get a match with Jessica, but only succeeded in getting a match with Jessica's younger sister, Ashlee. Jessica was in Ashlee's corner while Shakira was in Kelly's. Kelly beat the crap out of Ashlee while Shakira whipped Jessica and made her watch her sister getting destroyed. In the end both Simpson sisters were left laying on the canvas.
That is when it became personal for Jessica. It is now a family matter. Family pride, commitment and sisterly love is at steak. The only thing that Jessica cares more about than her own fame and fortune is family. Jessica trained with the intention not to beat Kelly or win a title. Whether the match ends in a win, loss or draw was irrelevant. Jessica's primary objective is to hurt Shakira and Kelly, and see them carried from the ring on a stretcher for what they did to her sister. Of course getting her hand raised in victory and getting championship gold around her waist for the first time is a very nice side benefit. Besides, it would hurt Shakira and Kelly even more to take their precious title from them.
Jessica trained alone. Her biggest distraction was Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Aniston and Eva Longoria calling her dribbling on about her winning the title being crucial to The Resistance's success and securing a power position in the league. They say the Resistance will feature her. After her long membership in Generation Prime that never highlighted her, these were welcome words to Jessica's ears. It was something for her to look forward to after thrashing Kelly and Shakira.
Once boarding the cruise, Jessica remained very reclusive. She wants to focus on the task at hand. She only trained with her sister, Ashlee. She even shunned her Resistance members on the cruise to support her, much to their chagrin. Eva Mendez, Spontaneous Xtasty and Nikki Cox tried to reach out to their team member with little success. Eva was very persistent, leading the others into Jessica's training session time and time again. She offered advice and echoed the leader's message about the importance of this match. That was until Jessica got sick and tired of Eva's advice.
"Yeah I know what's at stake!" Jessica explodes during one of her training sessions. The blonde leaps out of the ring where she is training and storms over to Eva. "Now let me explain something to you!" Jessica sneers as she grabs Eva by her shirt and pulls the sexy Miami native face to face with her. "This is about family! Those bitches crossed the line, way over the line. Nobody messes with me and my family and gets away with it. Now I'm a team player, and I'm going to bring back that precious belt for the team. But I don't need your freaking mouth, or help! If you think I can't do the job, or need you help, let's get in the sparring ring, and I'll erase all of your doubts!" Jessica says with a murderous look in her eyes as she challenges her team mate. "Now get out of my training sessions, and don't come back unless you're getting into the sparring ring!"
Eva and Jessica stood locked in a stare down for a moment. Eva froze, seeing the conviction, in the younger woman's eyes. She knows that she does not want to test the young blonde. "Let's go." Eva tells her comrades. "Let's let Jessica train." They leave Jessica and Ashlee alone, and never interrupts her sessions again.
During one of Kelly's last training session, the champion confidently asks "So Nelly, are you going to accompany me down to the ring?" as if she already knew her friend would be there.
"No, I don't think so." Nelly softly answers. "Shakira will be there." Nelly says and looks away. "This is it for me. I'm no longer Gen Next." Nelly confesses as she slowly shakes her head. "Shouldn't even be called Gen Next at all. This bastardizing of the concept that Alyssa created should not bear the name." Nelly looks at her friends solemnly and explains. "When Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera created the group, they were young, cocky, thought they knew everything and had the world at their feet. Like most people in their early twenties, they thought they had all of the answers. They were going to get what they wanted, and didn't care what the older generations said. They broke the rules, literally," Nelly says with a chuckle, "and ruled, and forever changed the league. The members always changed, but the concept remained constant; the youth expressing themselves and challenging the league."
"I was the last to join, before we lost one of our guiding stars." Nelly continues softly.
"The pressures of the world came crashing in and we lost our innocence." Nelly explains. "When we figured out that we didn't know everything, we went searching for answers. All we found was the older generations ready to take advantage of us, and use us to their advantage. Britney found Madonna, and I found Alyssa. Alyssa gathered us and turned us into her personal bodyguards and assault team."
"Its time to give Generation Next back to the youth." Nelly confesses. "You're that youth Kelly, not me or Shakira. We've both decided to leave the group. Its time for your generation, the Idol generation, to forge your own destiny. Its time for you to lead that generation."
"Huh! Nelly you must be smoking dope! I ain't no dang gone leader!" Kelly exclaims.
Nelly chuckles a bit. "Don't worry, Kelly. The voice of the young can't be stopped. Just let nature run its natural course. Everything will work out, but this is the end of the road for Shakira and me."
Kelly drops her head, obviously disappointed about Nelly and Shakira's intentions to leave. Suddenly, Shakira gives the young woman a cracking slap across the face. "Snap out of it Kelly. You've still got a fight ahead of you, and I'm not gone yet." Shakira snaps returning into coach mode. "Get your head in the game. We've got a Songbird title to defend."
Kelly looks up with a killer's eyes. She has the same focus and determination that she had when she won the Songbird title, and the same fire that she had when she beat 10,000 contestants to become the first American Idol. "Right, if this is our last match together, there's no way that I'm losing." Kelly states with total conviction. "I'm going to win this match for us!"
Shakira smiles with pride. She knows what Kelly can do when she is motivated. She has crushed the league's elite like Christina Aguilera, Janet Jackson and Shania Twain with ease. Shakira is proud of her special friend. She is especially happy that her rival Jessica Simpson does not stand a chance against Kelly.
A couple of days later, both divas find themselves staring across the ring at each other. Jessica has a murderous scowl across her face as she glares across the ring. She stands in her corner with her younger sister Ashlee, tingling in anticipation for the opening bell. In contrast Kelly's expression is cool, calm and focused and confident. She sees no need for Jessica’s theatrics. Kelly knows that she is going to dish out a beating to the bosom blonde. Shakira however cannot hide her contempt for the Simpson siblings. She stares daggers across the ring with a curled upper lip.
After seeing the two fighters start to get antsy in their corners, The referee calls for the bell to start the match. Jessica charges at her foe like a rabid dog. She leads with her knee, and drives it deep into her opponent's belly as she reaches Kelly. The blow doubles Kelly over, allowing Jessica to wail away with forearms across the back of Kelly's head, neck and shoulders. Jessica grabs Kelly by the arm and whips her opponent across the ring into the corner. Kelly winces as her back crashes into the turnbuckle. Kelly blinks and tries to draw a breath, but the breath will have to wait. Jessica is already charging into the corner after her. Kelly barely has time to step to the side before Jessica slams into her. Kelly goes behind her foe, and captures her around the waist. Kelly throws herself backwards and rolls Jessica up in a small package. Jessica is doubled up with her shoulders on the mat and her hips in the air, with Kelly pressing down on her on top. The spunky blonde is able to kick out at the one and a half count.
Jessica springs up to her feet and launches a haymaker at Kelly. The champion ducks the wild swipe then returns with a clobbering fist to the blonde's face. Jessica is about to reel back a couple of steps when Jessica captures her with a handful of hair to keep her near so she could wallop her enemy with a couples of forearm smashes to her face. Kelly starts to whip her opponent into the ropes, but Jessica reverses and whips Kelly across the ring. Jessica bends over far to early to deliver a backdrop after Kelly rebounds off of the ropes. Kelly easily kicks the doubled over woman in the face, standing her up immediately. Kelly launches herself at Jessica, clobbering her with a clothesline. To her credit, the emotionally charged blonde feels no pain and pops back to her feet in an instant after the powerful blow. Kelly kicks Jessica in the stomach after she stands, then grabs Jessica's head, and executes a spinning neck breaker. Emotionally charged or not, Jessica's neck is swiftly twisted and she is taken down hard to the mat. The blonde is stunned, and lies on her back defenseless. Kelly drops across her rival for the pin. Jessica kicks out at two.
Both Texas cuties rise to their feet. They square off against each other, then start trading punches. Their mutual grudge shows as both women put as much power as they can behind their blows, genuinely trying to hurt the other. Kelly delights seeing the blur of blonde hair streaking around Jessica's head as she recoils from the hard punches. She focuses on this and too zones out the pain from Jessica's fist. She focuses in on causing the blonde blurs.
Kelly, the larger girl, start to march Jessica backwards into the corner with her heavier blows. Jessica fires back at Kelly fiercely, but the out gunned smaller blonde is steadily moved back, looking like a giant blonde bobble head doll. After backing and trapping Jessica in the corner, Kelly loads up for even heavier blows. Jessica launches a fist intending on taking Jessica's head off. The fist is enroute, and Jessica ducks. Kelly's momentum brings her forward, allowing Jessica to straighten up and back drop Kelly over the top rope. Kelly sails over the top rope and is about to tumble out of the ring, when she grabs the top rope and saves herself from a hard fall. Kelly rightens herself and lands on her feet on the ring apron. Jessica turns and sees Kelly standing on the apron. Kelly looks surprised herself that she was able to somehow semi gracefully avoid the tumble. Jessica reacts quickly, and does a low dropkick, nailing Kelly in her shins. Kelly's feet are kicked out from under her, and she falls off of the ring apron. She did not expect this under cut either. Kelly tumbles off of the apron, hitting her head on the apron along the way.
Kelly takes a hard fall. She looks around trying to gather her wits for a moment when Ashlee charges over to kick and stomp on the downed warrior. Jessica immediately distracts the referee to allow her lil' sis a little payback. The audience erupts with "boo's." Suddenly the boo's transform into cheers, as Shakira appears swooping in from out of no where. Shakira has dashed from the other side of the ring, and bound up the ring stairs onto the ring apron. Shakira darted the length of the apron and leaped off with her left leg extended and her foot aiming at Ashlee's nose. Hearing the commotion, Ashlee looks up just in time to kiss the sole of Shakira's boot with her lips. Ashlee's head snaps back like it is a soccer ball booted by Ronaldinho. Ashlee's eye roll back in her head, and she drops like she's been shot. Shakira takes quite a tumble on the landing, but the acrobatic move put the crowd in a frenzy.
Jessica freaks out seeing her sister obliterated by Shakira's Bruce Lee like kick. She fights to get out of the ring, but the referee struggles to hold her back. The poor man struggles to maintain some semblance of order in this match, and not let it dive into total anarchy.
Shakira rises on shaky legs after the daredevil move. Kelly crawls away into the shadows, and Ashlee is down with her bell significantly rung. Jessica is furiously fighting to get out of the ring at Shakira. "Stay away from my sister you little cunt!" Shakira smiles maliciously at Jessica, then adds to her emotional stress by reaching down and slapping Ashlee a couple of times. Next, Shakira grabs a handful of the dazed singer's hair and starts hauling Ashlee to her feet for some more devilish treatment. "Noooooooooo!" Jessica howls seeing her sister in for some more punishment.
Jessica never sees her sister's fate. The forgotten Kelly has sneaked back in the ring, and grabs Jessica from behind. She wrestles Jessica out of the referee's grasp, and rolls her up into a small package pin. Jessica shrieks in surprise and fear that she is about ot lose. It takes three hard thrusts to finally escape the pin at the two and three quarters mark.
Jessica scrambles to her feet with a wild, confused and terrified expression on her face. She knows the momentum has completely swung into Kelly's favor. She has seen this before when studying all of Kelly's matches. The champion has been a superb finisher. Once she has gained the upper hand, and her opponent is off balance, Kelly has steamrolled over her opponents from there. Jessica knows a DDT and getting a mud hole stomped into her is in her immediate future. From there Kelly usually painfully punishes her victim, leaving no doubt that she is a very decisive victor.
Kelly squints her eyes slightly looking at the totally confused prey before her. Kelly lashes out with a chop across Jessica's big fat tits. Kelly grins slightly with a smidge of jealousy attacking her sexy rival's notable breasts. Jessica howls, covering her tits with both hands and cringes over a bit. Perfect position for Kelly to blast her with an upper cut, straightening the smaller blonde up and sending her reeling backwards into the ropes. Jessica bounces off the ropes and back to Kelly. As Jessica approaches Kelly, the champion strikes her in the gut with a strong kick. Jessica doubles over into position for Kelly capture her into a reverse head lock briefly, before falling backwards and DDT'ing Jessica into the canvas.
Kelly spring to her feet and hollers "Yeeaahh Haaaa!" to the crowd, that is roaring their support for her. A quick glance outside the ring confirms that Shakira is beating, slapping, kicking, and punishing the skinny little Ashlee at will. Jessica is struggling to her feet wearing the look of a death row convict heading to the electric chair. Kelly grabs Jessica by her arm and hair and jerks her up to her feet. The champion whips the smaller girl into the ropes. The notoriously dizzy blonde's head bobbles on her shoulders like it is totally empty as she runs across the canvas into the ropes, and rebounds off.
At the last moment as Jessica approaches Kelly she leaps up into Kelly's body, like a Lou Thez press. However, Jessica wraps her legs around Kelly's waist, and does not take her down. Jessica squeezes her legs around a shocked Kelly's waist, making her freezes for an instant. In that moment, Jessica captures Kelly's head and pulls it under her arm. Jessica brings her arm around and clamps it against Kelly's Adam's apple. Jessica secures it in place with her other hand, locking Kelly in a MMA standing guillotine choke. Kelly gags and flaps her arms like a bird. She had no clue what kind of hold Jessica has her trapped in, or how to escape.
Outside the ring, Shakira is gleefully whipping Ashlee. Shakira stands over the prone girl flat on her back. Shakira bends over and gleefully slaps the defeated girl across the face. The Columbian is thrilled to once again have taught the haughty Simpson sisters a painful lesson. "I can't wait till Kelly is through with your sister, so I can ass smother you out, you lil' snot!" Shakira threatens. Then she glances back in the ring and sees Kelly standing with Jessica's legs wrapped around her like an anaconda. She sees Kelly's head tucked under Jessica's arm, and realizes her team mate is done for. "No!" she gasps in disbelief. Shakira steps off Ashlee and starts for the ring. At that moment Ashlee returns to life and seizes Shakira's ankles, making her fall on her face.
"Un huh!" Ashlee says as she holds onto Shakira's ankles and legs, preventing her from entering the ring. Shakira frantically fights to get free, while shouting and screaming. "Shut up bitch. You won't be able to help Kelly out. She's done for. All you can do now is watch."
Kelly may never have heard of a Guillotine choke before today, but she is learning about it quickly. It cuts off her flow of oxygen as well as the blood flow to the brain. It is a very effective finisher, making it's victim black out in about 45 to 60 seconds, when applied properly. Jessica has it applied properly. Kelly started getting lightheaded 18 seconds into the hold. After the initial panic, the only course of escape Kelly could devise is to punch Jessica in her ribs to make her release her. Unfortunately, Jessica's body is pressed so tightly against Kelly's that she negates the leverage and position for Kelly to put the necessary force behind the blows. Kelly drops to her knees with a gurgle. Jessica grimaces as she applies more pressure and holds on for dear life. 15 seconds later, Kelly falls back off her knees onto her butt. 12 seconds later her shoulders slump. The referee raises her arm three times, and it lifelessly falls to her sides three time.
The referee stands and signals to the timekeeper to ring the bell. The fans are stunned to silence, at this rapid turn around. The official tells Jessica to release her hold. The blonde looks back at him like a child being told there is no Santa Claus. She is genuinely disappointed that she has to release her painful embrace on her enemy. Jessica reluctantly lets Kelly go, allowing her lifeless body to flop backwards to the mat. Jessica peers down at Kelly with her arms laid to her sides and out cold. Uncharacteristically, Jessica unleashes a two fisted assault on the unconscious and helpless woman's face. It lasts for a few moments until he hears Shakira desperately screaming and crying outside the ring.
Jessica pops to her feet in an instant and points down at Shakira and roars. "Your turn bitch!"
Shakira is already tearing up. She knows how important this match was to Kelly, and that she is going to be near devastated that she loss. Shakira feels like she must get some measure of revenge for Kelly. Ashlee releases Shakira allowing her to enter the ring.
Jessica has seen Shakira, the Bootylicious champion, out wrestle and out class the league's elite, like Alicia Silverstone and Beyonce. She has no intentions or desire of allowing this dangerous competitor any quarter. When Shakira ducks her head to crawl between the ropes, Jessica charges over and nails her in the temple with a hard knee. Shakira's body goes limp momentarily, allowing Jessica to wrench her into the ring by her long golden hair and sling her to the canvas. Jessica immediately mounts her victim and opens up a ground and pound assault. Jessica's fist and elbows have Shakira crying out and kicking vainly to try to escape. It turn into an absolute mugging, Jessica destroys Shakira in a matter of seconds.
Meanwhile Ashlee enters the ring and attacks a defenseless Kelly. She gets some precious payback for their previous match. The good news for Kelly is that the beating revives her, but as it continues she slips in and out of consciousness. Jessica has hauled Shakira over and propped her up in the corner, so she could continue a more varied assault with her upright.
In the stands, Nelly has to fight the urge to help her friends. But she knows her days in Gen Next are done, possibly Gen Next itself may be done. Nelly turns her head to avoid seeing her friends being abused. They are still her friends, she sill loves them very much, but this a battle that she can not interfere in today.
Finally the referee steps up and starts throwing threats around that gets the Simpson sisters to cease their assault. Jessica steps back, allowing Shakira to crumble to the mat. Ashlee and Jessica place a foot on their conquered rivals and pose with both arms extended up in victory. A steady chorus of "Boo's" and "You suck!" rain down on the girls from the fans for some of their questionable tactics and post match assault, but they do not hear it. The sisters are in their own bliss. They have won. They have vanquished their enemies, and they did it together, as a family. The referee hands Jessica her newly won Songbird championship belt and she holds it high. Besides they are now champions too.
Their Resistance team mates come to the ring applauding their teammates. Eva Mendes, Nikki Cox and Xtasty approach the ring kind of timidly. After Jessica's bizarre behavior throughout the cruise, they were unsure what her reaction would be.
To their surprise, Jessica leaps out of the ring and tightly hugs Eva. "Thank you for your help motivating me. You did a great job!" Jessica thanks her new team mate.
"Uhhh errr you're welcome." Eva responds, not quite sure how exactly she helped so much. But that is Jessica, she often sees the world through her own eyes. Meanwhile Xtasy and Nikki come under Jessica, and scoop up the petite woman, and hoist her on their shoulders. It is another blissful moment for Jessica. She is being carried from the ring by her friends as she celebrates her victory with her new belt. It is like a dream for Jessica. She has the adoration of her colleagues. She is a winner, a champion, the center of attention, the headliner, the star!
To make the moment sweeter, Jessica looks back over her shoulder, and sees medical staff loading Kelly and Shakira onto stretchers to be carried out of the ring in a very different way.
Both girls wanted victory at all cost. In the end their could be only one winner. In the end blood truly turns out to be thicker than water.
BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO JESSICA SIMPSON TO ASHLEE SIMPSON
TO KELLY CLARKSON TO SHAKIRA ThE RoCk tHe BoAt CrUiSe! FOLLOW ME TO ULTIMATE SURRENDER!