With Special Guest Sarah Michelle Gellar, Neve Campbell & Charimsa Carpenter
NOTE - This story immediately follows Escape From Las Vegas: Fab Four versus ABA
Things have calmed down from for the ABA. After Demi Moore negotiated their release from that Las Vegas jail cell, she chartered a flight back to Los Angeles. After a few days of nursing their wounds and getting reacquainted with their husbands or Jim Carey in Jenny McCarthy's case, they meet for cocktails at a secluded, paparazzi free, martini bar frequented by celebrities. The ladies sit chatting, getting to know their new member, and planning.
After thirty minutes, Jenny McCarthy sits back and says, "So Demi, now that we're out of jail, and gotten what we wanted, why shouldn't I smack your ass around right here?"
Demi puffs on a cigarette as the mood at the table turns serious. "Because you're smarter than that. You need what I can give you" Demi says.
"You know we have been doing fine by ourselves." Nikki says. "Christina is the champ, everybody still fears us. We do what we want, when we want to do it."
"And WE still will." Demi answers. "Only with me around it will last a lot longer. It's only a matter of time before Rage gets that title belt out of your hands, Christina. You can only scare and bully people so long before they band together and stand up to you. There is no future in the way you're going. This group has to evolve to stay on top."
"We have.... uh hmm... our ways to get around Rage's office to keep him in check." Christina Applegate says with a mischievous smile. "We won't let one bad day against the Fab Four change us." Christina responds sharply.
"One Bad day??!!?!" Demi asks in dismay. "Honey, you got destroyed by a team that was beat and dead on their feet. Do you really think anybody is still scare of you now?" Demi continues "Maybe that is why your careers are in the toilet. You can't see the end coming until it runs over you."
"I'm sick and tired of her arrogant ass!" Nikki Cox shouts while standing up. "We don't need this pompous bitch guys" Nikki spits out very annoyed "I think its time for a Milano!"
Nikki, Christina and Jenny rise to their feet and start to surround Demi. They were very amicable to Demi in Vegas when they needed her to negotiate their release from jail where the Luxor's general manager had them "detained" until the Fab Four left, but that is no longer the case. Their purpose in meeting today is to see if Demi can be useful to them, and if she is not, or says the wrong thing, give her a Milano. Demi does not even raise an eyebrow at the three would be attackers intending her doom. She only calmly takes another sip of her martini, then bats her ashes in the ash tray.
Demi opens her mouth to speak when the Bad Asses hear, "HEEEYYYYY its Christina Applegate and the ABA!" call out from across the room. The ABA sees Charisma Carpenter walking across the bar toward them. "Damn girls, I didn't expect to see you after what happened to you in Vegas." Charisma has been drinking enough to have a buzz, and is accompanied by equally buzzing Sarah Michelle Gellar and Neve Campbell. "I thought you might still be in the hospital after getting beat down like you did." Charisma continues.
Christina looks annoyed by the approaching drunk bitches and sharply responds "Look Charisma we're handling some important ABA business here. Could you leave us alone... NOW?"
But Charisma and friends keep coming. "Whoooooo ABA business" Charisma says with a chuckle, as she puts her arm around Christina's shoulder. "Important stuff. What are you planning next? How to get knocked out in five minutes flat?" Charisma laughs. "What are we doing today Brain? Try and take over the world, Pinky!" Charisma jokes laughing harder imitating the famous cartoon.
"See I told you nobody fears you anymore." Demi calmly says. "Hell, I don't think they even respect you anymore."
"Come on Charisma" Sarah interjects. "They look busy. Let's leave them alone." Sarah is part of Stone Rage's league and knows what the ABA are capable of doing.
"No they're fine, we aren't bothering them. Let me buy them a drink to ease the pain. They've had a hard week." Charisma slurs back. "Christina here got choked out by Pam Anderson's super sized bra. J.Lo knocked Jenny into next week. Shit! They just caught up to her today." Charisma says laughing at her own joke with Neve. "And Nikki still got a big ass band aide on her forehead from kissing the concrete." Charisma barely gets out before laughing harder, followed by Neve's laughter and Sarah's snickering.
Spurned by the laughter Nikki roughly shouts "Look you drunk ass bitches, get the fuck out of here before we kick your silly asses!"
"Hmmpt" Neve says, "I guess getting your butt kicked all over Vegas makes you grumpy. Let's go."
"Yeah lets let them see to their important ABA business and figure out a new way to get beat up by the Fab Four." Charisma says as she walks away. "Bad Asses? My ass. Christina and Nikki are fucking child actresses that grew up in Hollywood! How tuff can they be?"
Demi coolly takes another puff of her cigarette. "Do you finally see what people think about you? You're fucking jokes." The ABA stands with their mouths open. They are angry and embarrassed and did not know who they wanted to beat down more. "If you clowns had any brain what so ever, you'd be begging me to join you." Demi adds. "The ABA as you remember them are DEAD! Let me help revitalize you."
Christina is fuming and about to jump Demi when they heard Neve say, "They are just a bunch of LOSERS!"
The word losers reverberated in Nikki, Jenny and Christina's heads and touched every nerve in it. The word has haunted them their whole careers. Christina, who has been made famous for playing the 'lovable loser Kelly Bundy'. Nikki, the loser Kelly Bundy wanna be, who picks looser boyfriends. Jenny, the loser Pam Anderson clone, who keeps making bad career moves. The word loser sets all of them on tilt.
"Let's get em'" Jenny says through gritted teeth. "And hurt em bad."
Charisma, Neve and Sarah all hear the hurried footsteps coming from behind and turn just in time. Although they were slightly intoxicated, getting smacked across the face has a very sobering effect on them. In fact all the effects of the alcohol go away except for the liquid courage. Sarah, Neve and Charisma all started flailing away at the advancing Bad Asses.
Maybe the alcohol had a numbing effect on their punches. Maybe they were still weak from their thrashing at the Fab Four's hands. Maybe Neve, Sarah and Charisma are tougher than they thought or maybe the ABA just is not as tough as they think. Whatever the reason, the girls that the ABA pegged as easy victims were not going down, but fighting back and giving as good as they got. In fact they were standing toe-to-toe with the dreaded ABA and more than holding their own. They exchange punch for punch with the ABA as they fought tooth and nail. The rival groups fought and exchanged pairings constantly to help their comrades. Basically they were hammering each other senseless. Call it a 'Pier Six Brawl.'
"Are you one of us or not Demi?" Jenny hollers as she engages in a hair pulling battle with Neve. "Where the fuck are you Moore?"
"Sitting here wondering when you three are going to realize these old tactics aren't going to work anymore." Demi says as she takes a fresh martini from the waiter. "You guys remind me of Mike Tyson after Buster Douglas knocked him out. In your mind, you're still the baddest bitches on the planet, but in reality, nobody is afraid of you anymore. Everybody will stand up to you now. The mystique is gone. If you don't change, you'll become as big of a joke as Mike Tyson. Or you can listen to my plan and wise up." Demi finishes and takes a puff off her cigarette again.
Reeling from the crushing defeat from the Fab Four, now coupled with being challenged by these three scream queens whom everybody has always considered as creampuffs, Christina is now willing to listen to Demi. Christina is thinking that these are the toughest creampuffs she has ever seen. "You got five minutes to tell us this plan you keep talking about." Christina says while vigorously shaking Sarah's head back and forth with a two handed choke hold around her neck. "And if we don't like it, we're going to literally use you as a mop to wipe up the floor, just as soon as we're done with these lushes."
Demi raises both eyebrows. Not much reaction, but the biggest demonstration she has made all day. Demi realizes that Christina was going to make good on that threat if they did not like her idea. These are dangerous women whom she has been playing with. Moreover, she was not the one in control of this situation, the ABA were. Quickly regaining her composure and trying to hide the nervousness in her voice, "If you want to take over the league, then you must own it." Demi starts, "I'm talking a hostile corporate takeover. We're buying stock ladies. Enough stock till we call the shots."
"Stupid" Nikki spits. "Wrestlers aren't allowed to own stock." As she speaks, the distraction allows Charisma to bury her fist into the red head's stomach and double her over.
"Hide it like everybody else does." Demi answers. "You know relatives, spouses, the usual. The Fab Four are hiding stock. Kid Rock has some of Pam Anderson's. Halle has her ex-husbands still holding hers from when she was married to them. This makes for some interesting opportunities ladies." the raven haired seductress continues. "They aren't the only ones." Demi says and takes a sip from her drink. "Once we have enough stock, we can vote to have Rage removed from the commissioner's chair. Once we have control of that chair, we'll rule forever. We all know what that means. More popularity, better acting jobs, more money, and more power in Hollywood!"
Christina has Sarah's tongue hanging out and light headed from the choke while she feverishly tries to pull Christina's hands from her throat. Sarah just wishes she were sober enough to think of a way out and put Christina down. "Stock ownership is confidential, and highly guarded. How do we get this information?"
"Do you think I'm dumb enough to speak without that information? I've already got it. In fact other than Stone Rage, I'm the only person with the complete list." Demi says proudly. "It took months to get that list. It cost me a bundle of money before my computer hackers finally pierced his system to get the information. Rage is smart enough to update his computer's security constantly so it will be just as hard to penetrate his system again."
Christina carefully considers Demi's offer as she tightens her grip around Sarah's neck. Pam had called her a 'midcarder' during their encounter in Vegas. Truth be told, Christina suspects the popular actress she is currently choking the life out of, would get billing over her without the ABA. Christina knows what being part of the ABA has done for her, and does not want to give that status up. She must keep the ABA strong to maintain her status. Christina had choked Sarah down to her knees. In desperation, Sarah hits the War Queen with a low blow. Christina backs off howling and holding her crotch. While Sarah is still on her knees gasping, Christina retaliates with a kick to Sarah's head that topples her over and leaves her lying senseless on the floor. "Not bad Demi, I'm willing to give your plan a try."
"What about the Fab Four?" Jenny asks with Neve doubled over with her shirt halfway pulled over her head. Neve's arms are trapped and defenseless from preventing Jenny to pound her tits black and blue.
"You do nothing, you can't beat them." Demi starts again with more confidence in her voice. "They know you too well. They've studied you and discovered your weaknesses. You need others whose fighting styles they are unfamiliar with or that give them trouble. They're tough broads, very tough, but it doesn't matter how tuff you are, somebody, somewhere has got your number. We'll utilize those people who has their number." Demi adds. "Like all athletics, fighting is about matchups. Even a lesser fighter with the right style can upset the favorite."
In a trend that started after Christina crushed Jenny for the War Queen title, Jenny sides with Christina. "Okay I'll give this half witted plan a try. But if this doesn't work, you'll answer to me Demi!" Jenny says as she quits pounding Neve's battered boobs and allows her to collapse to the floor. Neve finally struggles to remove her shirt to free her arms. When she is done, Jenny leaps and come down with both feet into Neve's belly. "And you won't like it Demi!" Jenny adds and steps off Neve. Neve emits a blood curdling scream and curls up into a sobbing quivering ball.
Demi swallows hard and mutters, "I believe it" Demi looks away "I bet I won't."
"No... I don't like it....." says Nikki while wrestling with Charisma on the floor. "This isn't Ashton Kutcher's 'Punk'd'..... urrr This is real life, that plan belongs in a fucking movie script." Nikki says, desperately trying to hold off Charisma.
"Yeah I see how brute strength works so well for you." Demi says sarcastically. "Hey Nikki, 'Punk' d' IS a reality show, those plans actually DO work in real life tits for brains. Who do you think helps comes up with most of that stuff?" Demi says starting to raise her voice. "A lot of them are MY plans sweetheart." Demi blows in annoyance to Nikki's stupidity, than asks, "Why do you guys keep her around? Even Bobcat Goldthwait dumped her."
"Comic relief." Christina answers just as Charisma overpowers Nikki and mounts the big-breasted red head on the carpet. Nikki furiously struggles to keep the brunette from finishing her off.
"This is not a plan to just take control" Demi starts again. "This is a carefully scripted plan to eliminate all opposition PERIOD." Demi starts drifting into a villainous maniacal rant. "By the time I... uh WE are finished the Fab Four will be finished. Publicly slaughtered, with the press and the public support firmly behind us to destroy the whores." Demi continues ranting like a movie villain. "Not just the Fab Four either, anybody who can pose a threat will be eliminated. Anybody who is an enemy of the ABA goes down like Catherine Zeta Jones, Alyssa Milano, and Britney Spears if they dare oppose us!" Demi keeps going, "Stone Rage's other pussies like Tyra Banks, Roselyn Sanchez and Beyonce will be eliminated. We will create an empire! A hierarchy where underlings do our bidding. A world where we all are QUEENS!" Demi finishes in a evil glow.
Christina and Jenny smile buying into Demi's vision. A world where they are no longer considered 'midcarders' or 'B list celebrities' but rulers. Their day dream is broken as Nikki says "Sick, twisted evil bitch will be the end of all of us. I say NO to Demented Moore!" Nikki responds about to lose her struggle with Charisma, as the brunette starts to wear her down and land more and more punches to her face.
"Out voted" Jenny and Christian say in unison as they leave their defeated victims and walk over to Nikki and Charisma. The two blondes reach down and pulls the fighting brunette off the struggling red head. They both tuck Charisma's head under their arms and fall backwards executing a double DDT. Charisma's skull strikes the hard floor and flips her over onto her back lying senseless with her friends.
The blondes help Nikki to her feet as Jenny says, "I guess its official now. Welcome to the ABA Demi. Don't fuck it up!"
Demi smiles and walks towards her new comrades and puts her arms around their shoulders saying, "Don't worry. I like where things are going already!"
BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO THE ABA
TO SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR
TO CHARISMA CARPENTER
TO DEMI MOORE
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