The Fab Four Draft - Pam Anderson - Tia Carrere - Jennifer Lopez - Halle Berry
"So how are the twins and the hubby doing?" Halle Berry asks.
"Just fine" Jennifer Lopez answers, "Marc has been a doll, through everything too." Jennifer says with a smile. "And how is your little girl, I see she's growing!"
"Perfect" Halle answers "I wonder where's Tia, its not like her to be late for a
meeting, Pam on the other hand..."
"I know" Jennifer responds. "Beyonce isn't usually late either." Jennifer pauses. "I figure they're calling this meeting to tell us we need to come back to the league as soon as possible. I've gotten in good shape training for this triathlon, but still need to lose a couple of inches in the hips and thighs before I slip into a pair of tights. I've got to look fabulous, if I'm rolling with the Fab Four."
"I know. I'm way ahead of you girl. I've stepped up my training schedule already. There is so much going on in the league. Since the ABA has split, they're recruiting operatives to do their bidding. I have no idea what Cameron Diaz and Jenifer Aniston are doing, but they're up to something big." Halle warns. "A lot of people are making plans and moves, Salma Hayek, Alyssa Milano, Gen Prime, and Gen Next." Halle shakes her head. "I can't tell who is friend or foe anymore. We've got to be ready." Halle reflects. "We'll have a harder time pushing our weight around with this new booking committee, too."
"Don't forget we have to get Tia's wedding ring back. Jessica Alba crossed the line. We also really need to punish the ABA for all the stuff they put us and Stone Rage through too." Jennifer says with her Latin temper flaring slightly. "I admit, I can't wait to get back, but I'm so busy trying to get my career back going, and juggling family and home, its tough after not being around for a few months to get things back going." Jennifer confesses.
"Same here" Halle softly agrees.
Halle and Jennifer are fairly patiently waiting for the other members of the Fab Four to arrive to a borrowed office for an impromptu meeting that Pam and Tia called. Luckily for them, it is a large, comfortable and plush office with two soft leather sofas. The two starlets sink down into the leather and relax waiting for their constituents. Their wait is not much longer. Soon Tia and Pam burst through the door with their faces lit with excitement.
"Hey guys." Jennifer greets them. "You don't have to say nothing. Me and Halle will be ready to come back as soon as possible. We're almost there." Jennifer blurts out before Tia and Pam could say anything.
"Right. Jenn and I have already talked about it. We'll be ready after the next card." Halle agrees. "I know you guys need us more than ever now."
Tia and Pam look at each other a little confused by this conversation hitting them as soon as they walk through the door. "Hold up, time out. That's not really why we called this meeting." Tia sputters out. "I mean its not necessary, not that we wouldn't love to have you back."
"Yeah rookies, you're both first time mothers." Pam says. "Tia and I are veterans. We know you need time to get your body, emotions and career back together. And more importantly, there is no way that we're going to allow you to miss all the firsts in my God babies lives. Your place is at home, and not out with us." Pam pauses then adds, "Besides, if you go in the ring with those big suckers," Pam says pointing at Halle's super sized tits, "Everybody will be trying to milk you, and J, your ass is wider than ever. Its hard enough trying to stop people from spanking you as it is." Pam says trying to make light of the situation.
Both Halle and Jennifer get a warm feeling inside seeing their friends concern for the things that are really important in their lives, even though they know they truly need their help. "Thanks guys, but you're going to get killed without us. I can't let you go out there with all the people gunning to take out the Fab Four." Halle says.
"True, but that is why we've called this meeting." Tia says as she calmly sits down on the sofa with Jennifer and Halle. "Pam and I have been thinking. This is a critical time in the league. After the experience in Vegas, we learned there are very few people we can count on. Our threats far out weigh our allies. The Fab Four are targets from the ABA to who knows who else will come for us. So we came up with a plan to present to you today." Tia finishes.
"Yeah" Pam takes over. "Problem is that we are always on the defensive from attacks from the ABA. I for one am ready to take the offensive for a change. I'm ready to take the fight to the ABA and who ever else wants one. Problem is that we have taken this role as protectors of the league so its hard to go on the offensive. We're like the Super Friends, or the Avengers around here."
"Then we got this idea." Tia explains. "When the Super Friends or any cartoon group are faced with something too big for them to handle alone, they call in the reserves. We're under manned and facing an unknown threat, I can't think of a better time to call in the reserves. So, for now, we're going to split into two teams, Team Pamela and Team Tia!" Tia announces.
"Yeah just for a little while, till you guys get back." Pam interrupts. "But we can finally make some things happen. Maybe we can finish off the ABA once and for all with the numbers." Pam proposes with a smile.
"Alright, alright! you don't have to sale us, we love the idea" Jennifer says as Halle nods her head in agreement. "So where are we going to find these reserve members?" Jennifer asks.
"Well, I thought you'd never ask." Pam says as she prances to the office door. "Let me introduce Team Pam to you. First, I won the coin toss, and got the first pick. This one was a no brainer. You already know and love her. We've already been graced with her presence as our Super Sub. She is the reigning War Queen. The one and only, Beyonce!"
As Pam finishes her introduction, she opens the office door. Casually dressed in a T-shirt and a pair of jeans, Beyonce walks through wearing her customary charming smile. Beyonce raises her eyebrows at Jennifer and Halle playing with them with her eyes searching for their acceptance. They do not disappoint. Halle and Jennifer greets Beyonce with very large smiles, clapping and cheers. Beyonce looks back at Pam and walks back to her to give her a hug.
"Glad you stuck with us Champ," Pam softly into Beyonce's ear.
"My pleasure" Beyonce answers. "I'm honored that you're having me back."
Beyonce takes her place against the wall as Pam walks back toward the office door. "Okay, for my next teammate, I needed somebody equally as Fabulous as Beyonce. Actually, I called our old ally, Tyra Banks. I talked to her about joining Team Pam, but she said she couldn't. Her schedule is a little busy producing and starring in two top rated TV shows at the same time. She did make a great suggestion though. The Fab Four needs somebody who lives her life in the Fab Lane. Tyra recommended her BFF. It certainly doesn't hurt to have a six foot tall Amazon by your side when you're in a fight. So I give to you the Fabulous, Kimora Lee Simmons!"
Pam opens the door and the towering super model, reality star, and CEO of Baby Phat clothes comes through the door. Kimora wears a tank top and a mini denim skirt showcasing her fabulously long legs. Both Halle and Jennifer have known Kimora for a very long time. They know that Kimora can be a pampered, egotistical and self-centered pain in the ass to put things bluntly. However she can be a focused unyielding force for her causes. Unfortunately you never know which Kimora you are getting. One thing for sure is she is certainly has the body to be a dominating catfighting queen. None the less they happily and eagerly greet Pam's choice to join her team. If anybody can handle and motivate Kimora, Pam can. She certainly would not have survived on Tia's team.
"Okay my last reserve." Pam says smiling and bubbling. "I need somebody to suite my personality, somebody I can hang out with and party like I do. You know somebody young and hip like me." Pam pauses allowing comments from her tongue-in-cheek joke. "She's hot and can almost keep up with me partying."
"...And she's on the E! Network, just like Kimora." Tia interrupts. "Oh and your show in on the E! Network too, isn't it Pam? Are you getting a kick back or something?" Tia jest fully suggests.
"No!" Pam snaps, "E! just has good taste in beautiful women. And don't forget to
watch Pam: Girl on the Loose! (Pam's shameless plug) Anyway, the last member,
the hot body from Keeping up with the Kadashians, Kim Kardashian!" Pam opens the
door allowing the smiling, curvaceous brunette to walk into the office.
Kim stops immediately at Pam and hugs her saying, "Thank you for this opportunity Pam. I promise I won't let you down." Finally, Kim walks toward Jennifer and Halle, a little unsure she will earn their acceptance. Wearing a black jogging suit, (It's extremely difficult to find jean to fit her hips) she awaits Halle and Jenniferís judgment. She is obviously uneasy about their opinion.
After a moment of silence, Halle says, "Well looks like you don't have the biggest ass in the Fab Four any more Jennifer." and starts laughing to Kim's relief.
"Thank goodness." Jennifer says. "I'm tired of you talking about my ass for all these years. Finally we can move on without everybody discuss my ass! I don't have the biggest ass in the world!" Jennifer shouts to the sky. "Congratulations Kim, we're ecstatic to have you."
Jennifer and Halle go and welcome and congratulate the newest members of their family. In truth, they both have their doubts about pampered princesses, Kimora and Kim, but the have absolutely no doubts about Pam Anderson. If they are good enough for Pam to make them her choices, then they will do fine. They have total faith in Pam's decisions.
"Okay now it's time to for Team Tia" Tia proudly and excitedly announces. "They're a little different from Pam's girls, they suit my personality more. They are built to handle different situations than Pam's Team."
First, I need somebody in my own likeness to anchor this team. Somebody tough, strong and yet classy and of course very beautiful, just like everybody in this room. This wasn't a hard choice though. When I looked over the current roster of the league for a young celebrity that exudes everything that the Fab Four stands for, their was one woman who stood out head and shoulders above the rest. With one look you know it. Maxium's Top 100 knows it, AskMen.com, Spike TV and every list of hot chics has her at the top." Tia pauses. "Really she does not need any
words from me to justify her role in the Fab Four." Tia walks to the door and
places one hand on the door knob. "Ladies, my first pick, Jessica Biel." Tia
finishes as she opens the door allowing the young actress to saunter inside.
Jessica walk inside dressed casually, but wearing a smile and the same confident demeanor of a superstar or a champion, just like Beyonce. It is obvious that the woman had "it", that indescribable, undeniable spark that says this woman belongs in among the pantheon of goddesses. Everyone in the room claps their hands.
Jessica modestly says "Thank you, It's an honor to be in a group with everybody in this room." Poetically, Halle slides over on the sofa, allowing Jessica to take a seat along beside her and Jennifer, symbolizing the young lady's status among the elite.
Now, my next choice had to be somebody who combined a lot of unique elements. I want my team to be tough, I want them to have an attitude, a chip on their shoulder. I need somebody with a little fire, like our friend Jennifer, and I need somebody a little street too, I definitely want a little 'street cred' on my team."
Tia paced the floor a bit and explains, "See my team is on a different mission than Pam's." Tia continues. "Pam's team can have the glamour, the paparazzi and the interviewers, I want my crew on a different mission. We're handling the dirty work. We will be the ones who meets the likes of the ABA head on and spit in their face if necessary. We are going to do, whatever it takes to get the job done." Tia emphasizes.
"If Pam has Kimora living the Fabulous Life, then I needed somebody Living the Low Life." Tia announces with a smile. "Ladies, meet Vida Guerra." Tia opens the door allowing the diminutive Cuban to walk inside. Vida walks the floor like she is on a catwalk, modeling and striking poses. Vida is extremely nervous to be in this room with the others. Her celebrity is not even remotely as large as the others in attendance. However, Tia sought her out and asked her to join. (after Eva Mendes turned her down, but more on that later) Just like with Pam's decisions, but even more so with Tia, no one is going to dare question Tia's choice. They eagerly welcome Vida into the fold. Vida is totally impressed by these superstars acceptance and warm reaction.
Finally after Vida has been properly greeted, Tia starts again. "My last choice was very hard at first. Pam had Traci Bingham come talk to me, and she was very interested and very convincing in her bid to become a member. She is big strong and very eager to prove herself. Naomi Campbell made a strong bid to join, and I love her attitude, just plain nasty. I was all set on Naomi, then I went on the town and bumped into this woman at a charity benefit. We just vibed, I had to ask her to join. She is funny, crazy and kooky, but above all she is honest. You get the same person regardless of what happens, and I love that, and we need that. All of you know her already. Welcome to the Fab Four Rosario Dawson."
Rosario burst through the door, throws her arms up and shouts, "Hey Gang! It's me" with a super wide smile. Rosario comes into the room with a bubbly energy that infects the entire room. Everybody is smiling and laughing except for the first time that day, Halle and Jennifer are both wearing stern faces.
Halle and Jennifer share a quick glance before Halle speaks up and says, "Ro, I don't know if you're right for this group."
The room goes silent, and Jennifer takes over. "Yeah Ro, we know how good of friends you are with Jessica Alba. No matter how many times Tia says to forget about it, We are going after Alba."
"Yeah, Jennifer, Pam and I know first hand how hard it is to find a faithful man." Halle confesses. "Tia has a good man. Jessica's seducing Tia's husband went to far, not to mention stealing her ring. She's going to pay for interfering with a relationship like that."
"Tia says to let it go, but none of us are. We're going to kick your little friends ass, till she apologizes and begs for mercy." Jennifer concludes.
Rosario swallows hard then speaks, "True Jessica and I are good friends, and I hope we're still good after this is over, but I don't agree with what she did, and I told her about it. She's a big girl, she knew what she was doing and getting into."
"But you're talking about starting a civil war or an uncivil war more accurately. The battle lines are being drawn. People are going to have to chose sides, and it is going to pit friends against friends a lot. I want to be part of this group. It's the Fab Four gang! You're like real life super heroines! I've wanted to be a part of the Fab Four for years, Jessica knows that. I want to be part of this, and if that means I'll end up being on opposite sides as my friend, and having to get in the ring with her, then so be it. If we're truly friends, the friendship will survive. So what do you say? Can I stay?" Rosario practically pleads.
"Ro" Jennifer says slowly followed by a long pause. "If you give us another super sweet speech like that again, I"m going to get a tooth ache!"
"For real! That serious speech stuff isn't you. Just go over there and get your glass." Halle says as she point toward Tia and Pam who are across the room pouring two bottles of champagne into ten glasses. "Then burp or something, so we'll know the Ro we know and love is back." Rosario wears a huge smile as she goes to get her champagne glass and the others chuckle a bit.
Once a glass of bubbly has been distributed to each woman in the room, Tia lifts her glass for a toast. "Sisters, we are about to start something today, and I don't know what will happen once we do. I expect to be cheered like heroes some nights, and booed like villains others. Most nights we will be fighting our arch enemies, and some nights we may find ourselves at odds with friends and usual allies. Most nights we'll kick some ass, but some nights we'll get our asses kicked. But after all is said and done, we will end this as one family, and in the end we will all still be FABULOUS!"
BATTLELINES PAY PER VIEW PRESS CONFERENCE
A couple of days later, Tia and Pam bring their teams of reserves to the much awaited press conference to announce the matches of the next Pay Per View event in the league, BATTLELINES. It is the groups first public appearance, and they announced their intentions of having two Fab Four teams to the world prior to the announcement of the matches. After the announcement, both teams are circulating and answering questions from various press members and other
celebrities and friends.
Stone Rage did not attend the conference, allowing his new match making committee comprised of legendary catfighters, Pam Grier, Raquel Welch, Lynda Carter, and Loni Anderson to take the spotlight. After the announcement of the lineup almost nobody has left the lush hotel ballroom rented for the conference. Most of the ladies who compete in the Battle Zone are in attendance, as well as many ladies who are training to make their debut in the league at some point in the future.
During a rare quiet moment, Tia and Pam are alone talking. "Go right now and demand your ring from that skinny heifer!" Pam encourages pointing directly at Jessica Alba, who is across the room talking to her longtime Desperate Housewife buddy, Eva Longoria. "What's the matter are you scared of her?" Pam asks.
Tia does not answer. Pam, Jennifer Lopez and Halle Berry already know the answer to that question. They have been together long enough that they knew each other incredibly well. Tia is intimidated by young Jessica. Tia is the woman they nicknamed, Honcho, because she has always been the heart and soul of the group. Tia represents the courage and bravery of the group. The others have always followed her example when they were scared. Tia did not have to say a word. They even knew why Tia is so intimidated. It is not because Jessica dominated her in the ring. It is not because Jessica made a mockery of her life's work, her acting career. It is because Jessica seduced and enchanted her husband in a way even Tia never has. Taking Tia's ring is only a physical symbol of the grip that Jessica has on Tia's marriage. "Not here, not now." Tia softly says.
"Come on Tia, do you want to wear that silly outfit at night for the rest of your life?" Pam asks referring to Tia's husband insisting that Tia dress up like Jessica's character in the movie Sin City during sex. "Go get your mojo back, go get your dignity back." Pam implores.
Remembering her nightly humiliation while wearing the outfit, and reliving her nightly feeling of defeat at Jessica's hands every time she dons the outfit, Tia takes a deep breath and purposely walks toward Jessica. Summoning her legendary courage, Tia walks up within a foot of Jessica and says, "Jessica, I want my ring back now!" Tia looks straight into Jessica's eyes while never flinching.
Jessica looks back at Tia meeting her threat head on. "Fine, like I said during our match, all you have to do is get on your knees and tell everybody in this room that I'm the superior woman." Jessica answers with a smirk. Jessica has made it her mission to conquer Tia ever since Tia had her begging like a baby in their first encounter. Even dominating Tia in their next match did not satiate her thirst. Only Tia admitting that Jessica is as good as or better than she is will end her quest. "If you're not ready to admit that, then get out of my face before I forget I'm on maternity leave and kick your ass like I did last time. Oh, and tell your husband I said hello." Jessica finishes with a biting comment for her rival.
Jessica's last comment fueled Tia. She walks closer, breast-to-breast with Jessica, with their eyes locked in a competition of their own. Every conversation in the room ceases and all eyes turn to these known nemeses. Everybody knows a helluva fight is about to break out if left undisturbed. The tension mounts.
Nearby, Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Aniston watch the situation escalading. Their vow to Christina Applegate to take down the Fab Four is fresh in their minds. They remember that Christina especially circled Tia out because the blonde could never defeat the tough brunette. They exchange a look and know what to do. Jennifer and Cameron walk over and Cameron gets between Tia and Jessica. Cameron turns to face Tia and leers down on her. "Is there a problem here that we can help you out with Jess?" Cameron asks while eye balling Tia.
Jessica is surprised but thankful for Cameron and Jennifer's interference. She is thankful because Jessica is worried about her stamina in a fight today, or else she would have already attacked Tia. Jessica is surprised because although Jennifer and Cameron are good acquaintances of hers, she did not think they were close enough for the to come to her assistance and fight for her. "I don't know. Tia do we still have a problem?" Jessica confidently asks.
"Get out of my way string bean, this is between me and Jessica." Tia tells Cameron as Pam rushes over and goes tit-to-tit with Jennifer.
"I'm making it my business. Jessica is a friend of mine and you'll have to go through me to get to her." Cameron spits in a threatening tone. "We're sick and tired of the Fab Four throwing your weight around and acting like you rule everything. You're nothing but a gang trying to scare everybody. You're just as bad as the ABA! We're standing up to you bullies and putting you in your place once and for all." Cameron finishes to murmurs of agreement from some of the other in attendance. In the mean while the other members of Tia's and Pam's teams come behind Tia and Pam for support
Jessica Biel quickly intervenes telling Tia, "Please, please let me have Cameron." eagerly looking for another crack at her arch nemesis especially after receiving a thrashing from her last time.
Seeing the numbers going against them, Eva Longoria steps up beside Cameron saying, "You can have get your pretty face messed up if you don't leave!" Eva threatens as the mighty mite tries to look tough.
Finally out of no where, another of Cameron's good friends arrives to stand by her side, Eva Mendes. "You heard them Pam and Tia, you better back down, before you get smacked down!"
Pam and Tia are mildly surprised seeing their normal ally Eva Mendes supporting Cameron and Jessica. They knew she was friendly with both Cameron and Jessica, but did not realize it ran that deep. "Are you sure you want to do this Eva?" Tia asks.
"Yeah I'm sure." Eva confidently responds. "I told you when you asked me to join your little reserve flunky crew that that I had other obligations. Cameron is my girl. If there's a fight going down, I've got her back, even if it means busting your, Pam, Halle or Jennifer's ass in the process."
With the sides chosen and the battle lines seemingly draw, the big battle seems imminent, until a wildcard introduces itself. "Wow, don't you love it when the prissy, sissy girls get all hot and bothered?" Demi Moore says as she leads the ABA, Jenny McCarthy, Lucy Liu and Lucy's charge, Chiaki Kuriyami through the crowd, and comes within ten feet behind the confrontation. The ABA saw their arch enemies engaged in this confrontation and had to intervene. They know that Cameron and Jennifer are very close friends of their exiled former leader, Christina Applegate, and at some point in time will be a threat to them. Actually this should be a dream come true, their two biggest threats are about to destroy each other. The smart thing to do would be to set back and watch, then strike the weakened winner after hopefully a hard fought battle. However,
Jenny, Demi and Lucy could not stand their enemies going down without them orchestrating or playing a part in their destruction. Where is the fun in that?
The glory hungry divas had to get involved.
"Yeah, they're so cute when they're angry." Jenny answers.
"I think they are cute when they are unconscious." Lucy adds.
Pam did not have to peak to know the owners of those voices. "No, I got them, you take care of this." Pam tells Tia, who nods her head in agreement.
Pam peels away from Jennifer and walks toward the ABA, with her team immediately filling in behind their captain. "Jenny? Demi? Are you back for more?" Pam asks comically. "Wow and I'm supposed to be the dumb one. And you brought Lil' Lucy and GoGo with you too this time." Pam walks toward Jenny. "I brought my new friends with me too. This is the new Fab Four that'll be kicking your ass until Halle and Jennifer get back to kick your asses some more. I believe you've met Beyonce already, Jenny. She pinned you in the Fatal Fourway a couple of weeks ago to win the War Queen title. This is Kimora Lee Simmons and Kim Kardashian and you'll be kissing their asses shortly if you don't leave." Pam finishes raising her eyebrows, initiating the challenge.
"Bring it bimbo!" Lucy spits back.
"I was hoping you'd say that" Pam answers before she pounces on Jenny initiating a war. Beyonce darts toward Demi, Kim charges at Lucy leaving Chiaki to try and measure up with the giantess Kimora.
Although Tia never turned her head to see Pam start the scuffle with the ABA, she reacted like someone rang a bell to start her battle as well. She immediately cracks Cameron across the cheek with an open hand slap. Although Jessica Biel was chomping at the bit to get at Cameron again, she had to settle for socking Eva Mendes in the nose. Eva Longoria gets backhanded slap across the face by Vida Guerra and Rosario Dawson sinks two claws into Jennifer Aniston's hair and slings her from side to side.
Chaos erupts. Everybody moves out of the way to allow the three warring clans room to battle. Nobody expected something like this when they came, but all are eager to witness the outcome.
Pam's pounce succeeds in tackling Jenny to the carpet. Jenny had not anticipated Pam taking the offensive like that. In all their battles, the Fab Four never attacked like that. Usually they sit back and wait for their opposition to take the offensive. This initiative is very un Fab Four like. Pam lands on top of rival. Jenny receives a few jolting shots to her jaw before she reaches up and grabs Pam's hair and rolls her off top of her. Next, the two blonde roll around the carpet trying to overpower each other.
Like Jenny, Demi is taken totally taken off guard as Beyonce rushes toward her without the usual heavy provocation. Equally as shocking, despite being built like a brick house, Beyonce is alarmingly fast. Beyonce arrives in Demi's face with a mighty overhand right fist raining down while Demi's eyebrows are still raised in shock. The punch explodes on Demi's face knocking her slightly addle and staggering her. In the immortal words of Mike Tyson, "Everybody's got a plan until they get hit." Demi looses her composure and starts flailing fist trying to keep the rampaging War Queen at bay. There was not strategy or design, just ineffective flailing with most hands landing across Beyonce's shoulders and the side of her skull where they can do little to no damage. Beyonce measures her punches and land with devastating pinpoint accuracy. Beyonce avoids Demi's flailing with her head bob then explodes with bombs whenever the opportunity appears, nearly knocking the legendary brunette's head off.
Chiaki is surprisingly cool as the long legged Kimora glides her way. As Kimora approaches Chiaki strikes with a low kick to the model's knee. Kimora cries out and her knee buckles. Four more rapid succession kicks and Kimora drops to one knee. Chiaki wears a slight evil grin, confident that she is about to chop down this giant. Chiaki strikes with a martial arts thrust to Kimora's face, but the Korean African-America gets an arm up to block the blow. Then Kimora retaliates with a fist, driving it deep into Chiaki's stomach. The tiny Japanese girl bellows and doubles over. One punch and Chiaki has all the breath knocked out of her. She now wishes she had ran when the giant came her way. Kimora pulls Chiaki's feet out from under her and mounts the little beauty.
Kim goes barreling into Lucy, knocking them both to the ground. Kim knew she did not stand a chance against Lucy's martial arts skills on her feet. On the ground Kim easily outmuscles her opponent and pins the thrashing vixen to the floor. Lucy cusses and calls Kim every derogatory term she can think of.
Across the room, Jessica Alba's friends are just as startled by the Fab Fours newfound aggression. As Cameron recoils from Tia's unexpected slap, Tia grabs a handful of blond hair and yanks her forward into an upraised knees that impales Cameronís gut. Cameron exclaims and doubles over, where Tia drives her elbow down on the back of Cameron's neck, driving her down to her knees. Tia slips behind Cameron and place her forearm across her throat and pulls back, choking the blonde.
Rosario uses her double fisted hair pull to turn her back then hurdle Jennifer over her shoulder. Jennifer flies head over heels and lands very abruptly on her butt. Then the thick thighed Latina kicks Jennifer in the back of the head. Jennifer's eyes start rolling around in her head, then she collapses limply on her side.
Wisely, Jessica Biel stays on a dangerous Eva Mendes after punching her in the nose. Biel's kick slices low and catches Mendes right between her legs in the crotch. Mendes bends over with a loud, long whimper. At the same time, Biel raises her knee catching Mendes on her chin. The Latinaís knees buckle, but before she can fall, Biel scoops her up in her arms, and body slams the gorgeous babe to the floor. Then viciously, Biel drops a knee into Mendes' vulnerable belly.
While Eva Longoria is slightly bewildered by Vida's heavy backhanded slap, Vida lunges in and locks a head lock around Eva. Next Vida uses her headlock to flip Longoria over to the carpet. Vida cranks up the pressure on Longoria's head for a while before taking one fist to rap Longoria repeatedly across her lips.
Almost everyone at the press conference is astonished to see every member of the Fab Four emerge out of the chaos on top. All of them were on top except for the beauty who started this melee, Pam. She is still rolling around the carpet with Jenny McCarthy with no victor emerging. Jenny strikes with an eye gouge to Pam. The Fab Four team leader screams but retaliates with her own eye gouge to Jenny. Pam pulls Jenny's head near then bites down on her victim's neck like a vampire. Jenny screams and releases her eye gouge, allowing Pam to take a dominant position on top of her. Pam's vision is still blurry, but her hands find their way around Jenny's neck, and squeezes the blonde in a death grip. Jenny's vision is blurry also. Now she can not breath, then Pam uses her choke hold to bang the back of her arch rival's head against the floor.
Beyonce has Demi hurt, back pedaling, even turning her back trying to avoid the champion's fist. Sensing an opening when Demi turns back to face her, Beyonce lunges in with a Superman Punch that lands and downs the brunette. Not letting up, Beyonce viciously stomps down are her opponent. while she squeals and pleads "Stop you bitch!"
Kimora lands a few punches on Chiaki, who is trapped underneath her. Then with ninja like precision, Chiaki lashes with a martial arts thrust to Kimora' chin. A shiver runs through Kimora's body and she falls off of Chiaki. The Japanese whelp springs to her feet, looking to finish off her foe. Then the long legged model sweeps her legs around and brings Chiaki right back down with a leg sweep. Kimora quickly stands before Chiaki can rise again, and places her big foot on her tiny opponentís throat. Chiaki's eye bulge and she immediately starts thrashing around to escape, but her resistance is futile. The giantess has her under total control.
Kim has Lucy mounted and uses her voluptuous bodacious body to weigh her down. Lucy sprays a litany of profanity at her foe while Kim grounds and pounds the Charlie's Angel with her elbows. Lucy feels like she is being mugged and can do little to prevent it. Lucy angrily squawks calling Kim a variety of bitches, whores and cunts. "Shut up... shut the fuck up!" an annoyed Kim spits back, as her elbows slices through Lucy's defenses making her victimís eyes and cheeks sting and start to swell. All the while Lucy still curses her. "I'll shut you up" Kim says and reverses and plops her big phat ass on Lucy's face. Then she could only hear Lucy's muffled protest.
Several feet away, Cameron is trying to fight out of Tia's rear choke. The blonde powers up to her feet to alleviate Tia's leverage. Once her advantage has faded, Tia grabs Cameron around the waist from behind and hoists her in the air. Then Tia deposits Cameron crotch first on her extended knee with an atomic knee drop. Cameron screams and springs up off of Tia's knee. Tia quickly captures the blonde around the waist again before she can escape, and lifts her off of the ground again and falls backward. The back of Cameron's head collides with the ground as Tia executes a belly-to-back suflex. With Cameron dazed, Tia scrambles and sits on the blonde vixen's stomach. Tia's fingers work feverishly opening Cameron's jeans and pulling the zipper down, exposing Cameron's canary yellow panties. Then Tia's fingers clamp down with a claw hold on Cameron's crotch. Poor Cameron can only scream and thrash around uselessly.
The current Hardcore Champion is lying on her back slowly starting to stir after Rosario's kick to the back of her head. "Hmpt, You're supposed to be Hardcore tootsie?" Rosario tauntingly asks as she stands over her victim. Not waiting for a response, Rosario drops to the carpet and rolls Jennifer over onto her stomach. Next Rosario sits on Jennifer's back and clutches her foe under the chin and rears back for a camel clutch. Jennifer lets out tortured grunts and long moans as she suffers in Rosario's clutches. The tormented actress wonders what kind of mess Cameron has drawn her into.
After Jessica Biel dropped her knees into Eva Mendes' stomach, the Latina curled up into fetal position. However, Biel is in a particularly nasty mood after Cameron Diaz jumped and humiliated her a few weeks ago. Biel grabs Mendes's ankles and spreads her legs apart and stomps her pussy as hard as she can repeatedly. Biel only pauses to grind her heel into Mendes' cunt a few times. After Biel finishes, she leaps into the air and drives the point of her knee deep into Mendes' pussy. The pain is so great that Mendes can not even scream. She sits up with her eyes bulging and her moth making a O shape while holding her cunt with both hands. A sharp kick from Biel to Mendes' chest knocks Mendes back down flat on the carpet. Mendes simply lies flat on her back not trying to
defend herself as a token of total surrender. Biel still stomps down on the defeated woman's crotch. "You made the wrong choice Eva. You should be one of us instead of fighting us" Biel says as she grinds her heel down.
Meanwhile Eva Longoria is doing everything she can to escape from Vida's headlock. She is clawing and scratching, trying to escape. Finally her hands find a handful of Vida's brown hair and she pulls her head back. Longoria is happy to hear Vida squeal as her head is yanked back at an awkward angle. Longoria is able to pull Vida back so far, that she is able to roll Vida off of her chest, and reverse positions. Vida still has her head lock, but Longoria is on top of her. Longoria puts her forearm on Vida's face and smears it into the carpet. Next, Longoria takes her other hand and balls it a fist and pummels Vida's face. Although Vida still has her head lock secured, she is being battered. Finally Longoria is able to slip out of the head lock then grabs two handfuls of Vida's hair and pulls her head up and head butts the Cuban into the face. Vida falls back to the carpet with stars orbiting around her head.
Pumped up and full of adrenalin from her escape, Longoria springs to her feet. She looks down at a dazed and groggy Vida trying to rise. "Get up whore!" Longoria yells and grabs Vida by her shirt and snatches Vida up to her knees. Another hard jerk and Vida is rising to her feet, but she is greeted by a looping right fist that knocks her back down to her knees. "Get up!!" Longoria yells again and snatches her up into another powerful punch. The force of the fist twist Vida's head around and makes her hair stand on end like she is being electrocuted. "Come on Puta!!!" Longoria shouts again and pulls Vida into another haymaker. Longoria jerks Vida up again screaming, "I thought you wanted to fight Bitch!!!!" and pulls Vida into another bomb.
Longoria pauses and smiles seeing she has knocked Vida into a glassy eyed, mindless funk. Longoria gets a two fisted grip on Vida's shirt and pulls her up to her erect finally. She feels like one more haymaker will finish Vida. Longoria measures her opponent and slowly draws back for the knockout punch. She fires the punch but Vida acts on instinct and gets her arm up to block it. Longoria puts so much force behind her punch that Vida's block actually knocked her off balance. Vida quickly strikes back with an elbow that erupts on Longoria's jaw. Longoria is knocked koo koo, her knees buckle and she struggles to remain upright. Acting on pure desperation, Vida grabs Longoria's hair and tucks her head under her arm and falls back, DDTing Longoria into the hard ballroom floor. Vida sits up quickly, hoping Longoria does not get up for a while. The last sequence took everything she had left, and if it did not work, she is in big trouble. Vida peaks down almost scared to find the results, but luckily Longoria is lying on the carpet holding her forehead and moaning in pain.
Sighing in relief, Vida crawls on to Longoria's back and pulls her head back with a handful of silky hair. Vida chops Longoria on the side of her neck. Longoria gags and gurgles trying to breath again. Vida keeps a hold of Longoria's hair and slam her face into the ground. Then grinds her lovely features into the carpet. Vida is happy and relieved when Longoria's body relaxes in defeat a few moments later. Vida continues to punish and demean her rival by still grinding her face into the rug.
From her perch on top of Cameron, Tia sees a total sweep of Fab Four victories. She lets out a triumphant cry of "YES!!!" Then Tia barks in the voice of a Marine drill instructor, "ALRIGHT FAB FOUR LETS STRIP THEM!"
A wind storm of sounds begin from that point. There are cheers and words of encouragement. There are screams of protest and sounds of resistance. Over them all is the highly recognizable sound of stitches and threads being ripped apart.
Suddenly the booking committee comes frantically fighting through the crowd. "Stop it!! This is over!!!" Lynda Carter shouts as she leads Raquel Welch, Loni Anderson and Pam Grier into the midst of the battlefield. "What the hell is going on here? Are you crazy? A lot of you have matches coming this next card." the enraged brunette screams. Lynda is furious. Her eyes are blazing, and her nostrils are flaring as she breaths heavily. "Are you trying to ruin the next Pay Per View by getting hurt?"
All the fighting immediately comes to a screeching halt. The ABA immediately starts crawling away. All four were looking whipped and disheveled in various degrees of undress. Kimora had reduced Chiaki to nothing but bra and panties. Jenny is topless and covers her bare breast with her arm, luckily she still had on her jeans. "There's definitely going to be fines laid down" Lynda continues screaming, while Lucy staggers out with her breasts bursting out of her open bra. Demi brings up the rear with her short dress shredded. She walks out with her black hair all over her head, and topless, wearing her panties, covered by a pair of black fishnet stockings. The ABA crew slinks out through the spectators not waiting to hear Lynda. The have had enough for one day and are just trying to get the hell out.
Jessica Alba is busy helping her friends to their feet and leading them out as well. They are in various degrees of undress too. Eva Mendes' blouse is torn open and her breasts are mushrooming out of the bra cups that are pushed aside. Jennifer Aniston has both arms modestly crossing her bare breasts. Cameron Diaz is topless too. Only she is angry, frustrated and embarrassed at the outcome of these events. She does not even bother to cover herself or refasten her wide open jeans that are sagging off her butt. Eva Longoria wears the most clothing, only losing her top, but her bra still intact. With their heads down and their tails tucked between their legs in defeat, they head towards a door on the opposite side of the ball room than the one the ABA slinked out.
The Fab Four all have their heads down, trying to look remorseful as Lynda continues fussing at them. Lynda soon walks away followed by the committee. Pam Grier makes eye contact with long time acquaintance, Pam Anderson and gives her a quick wink indicating her support of this new Fab Four's tactics. As soon as the committee leaves, the Fab Four erupts and celebrates their initial success.
The battle lines have now been drawn. The Fab Four know they face a battle on two borders. This is a colossal tasks for any nation. Luckily they have called the reinforcements, and put the chess pieces in place. None of them are fooled by this initial victory, they all know hey face a long war, a longUncivil War.
BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO FAB FOUR
TO KIM KARDASHIN
TO THE ABA
TO JESSICA ALBA