BRITNEY SPEARS


Born: 12/2/81 Height: 5'5" Weight: 125lbs Eyes: Blue Orientation: Bisexual Years Catfighting: 11
Previous League: BZL (defunct), XCF (defunct), Video-1, SoCo Previous Belts: BZL War Queen 4x’s, XCF Champ 1x, XCF Tag Champ (with Melissa Joan Hart), Video-1 V1 Champ 3x’s, Video-1 Tag Champ (with Melissa Joan Hart), SoCo Champ 1x
Finishing Moves: Bayou Bomber! (Unleashes a series of hard-as-hell punches to the face, head, neck and shoulders!), Running Bayou Bomber (Literally runs up on a bitch and punches her full-force right in her heart-tit! She immediately follows it up with a hard southpaw upper-cut! She then grabs opponent and whirls her around in a giant standing spin to add to the bitches confusion! At that point she can irish-whip her to wherever she wants: If its to a corner, she follows up a running forearm smash to the tits! If its off the ropes she follows up with a flying body tackle!), Blitzing Bayou Bomber! (Unloads 6 punches to tits and then grabs opponent and delivers Belly-to-Belly Driver!) Blond Ambition (Face-sitting Smother submission)
Strengths: Veteran Experience, great brawler and hand-to-hand fighter, Mistress of the Dropkick Technique (don’t let her dropkick you, that’s all I’m sayin!), some power moves, some technical moves, great at escaping wrestling moves, tenacious, can take an ass-whipping, high endurance and stamina, can win most long matches, wily, smarter than she looks or acts, great ring awareness, great tag wrestler (especially with Melissa Joan Hart), great stable leader and founder, devious, evil, cunning and manipulative, great showmanship, great at cutting promo’s, abilities increase in title matches, great at chain-hitting opponents, fast, more agile than appears, strong-willed, has not reached full catfighting potential
Weaknesses: Too much of a brawler and fighter, vulnerable to wrestling holds and submissions if they can keep them locked in on her, does not like being bombarded with attacks/pending on opponent she may actually panic from it, ring awareness decreases sharply as match and momentum swing against her, abilities actually decrease with hostile crowds, can actually be worn down mentally, takes abnormal damage from wrestling moves and power moves, using her own strength against her does abnormal damage to her and demoralizes her severely, vulnerable to high-flying and top rope moves, actually can be defeated by defeating/hurting Melissa Joan Hart (this may also backfire too)

Britney Spears, the Blond Bayou Bomber! Was born in Kentwood, Louisiana, U.S.A. on December 2nd, 1981! It has been one helluva ride for Britney and her fans but the ride straight jumped the fuckin tracks with the recent demise of the Battle Zone League. Britney always knew that if the ABA ever got their hands on direct control of the BZL it would be a disaster! She’s had a pretty successful run in the BZL, but just before she jumped ship to the W3W? She suffered some hellacious setbacks that damn near ended her illustrious catfighting career. The trouble really started away from the ring when her singing career dove to the ground faster than a hooker in kneepads! She’d been trying for years to stage a complete comeback, but things just kept going from bad-to-worse whenever she put out an album. So she turned her complete attention into using Stone Rage’s Battle Zone League as the leg-up that it was meant to be. She put her PR people to work in conjunction with the deep connections of the BZL while her Blond Ambition continued its dominance in the BZL.

Blond Ambition was the only real legit comp for Stone Rage’s, Fab-4, as well as their arch-rivals the ABA. Britney and her Blond Ambition participated in the plot to oust the Fab-4 for good in Las Vegas! Britney had it all worked out where they would go on ahead and appear to be at the beck-and-call of the ABA Idiots, but really!?!? In reality…

Who would be able to say shit to Britney and her bitches when they laid low the only real force that Stone Rage had in the BZL? Once BLOND AMBITION took down the Fab-4, they would have all of the other bitches by the backs of their scrawny necks and those crappy clit-rings! However… things didn’t quite go as planned. Madonna had been getting strange reports back that something else was in Sin City while they were all running around tearing up the town lookin to lay a beat down, on the Fab-4 Fuckers! Madonna did what she was supposed to do as “the advisor” to Britney. She dug around and spoke with the well-known woman of all gossip and juicy secrets, The Mouth! Even her ass wouldn’t talk but so much about the fact that all of the activity had riled up the local’s of Sin City and that some of the locals weren’t exactly “friendly”, with anybody! Madonna told Britney about the fact that the Mouth was spooked about someone or something that was in the area and observing the action going down, to which Britney simply said “Sin City was founded by gangsters, right? This wouldn’t be Sin City if it didn’t have shady-creepy-characters lurkin around, right!?”

With that said, Britney proceeded to wage war in Sin City as the Fab-4 attempted to Escape from Las Vegas…

When the dust cleared and the debris settled, Blond Ambition had been blown apart by none other than Alyssa Milano’s crappy ass, Gen Next! Then she and Melissa got the critical beat down from yet another old rival, Salma Hayek, and her punk-pal Penelope Cruz! So being facedown-ass-up wasn’t a good enough humiliation, no. Britney, reeling from back-to-back-to-BACK! LOSSES! Found herself square in the sights of Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, who quickly got control of the two demoralized and defeated Blond bitches by using the Dark Wolf. Unable to resist, Britney and MJH quickly found themselves kowtowing and other crazy crap! At the beck-and-call of two of the very last people on the planet that any “human being” would ever want to take orders from! In a strange twist of irony, it would be because of these two, Paris and Lindsay, the two Tramps of the Apocalypse! LOL! It was because of Paris and Lindsay that Britney and MJH (Melissa Joan Hart), would fall into the Shadow of Sin City. Geese’s 3rd Maid Enforcer, Devin DeRay, would play unlikely hero for Britney and MJH as they raided Paris’s ultra-private villa in the gated sections of Sin City, in search of the Dark Wolf. Now free of its influence, Britney and MJH stand ready for one last match against some of the bitches that they wanted to beat THE MOST! However, word has come down that the sudden success of the ABA in their recent takeover, has actually caused the demise of the BZL because of their bungling. Britney decided to sign on with the W3W and possibly continue her partnership with MJH…



Roger Celeb





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