Spearing Paris through the Hart
Britney Spears, Melissa Joan Hart, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan
Featuring Devin DeRay, Devon Michaels and Sandee Westgate
"Are you serious?" Devin DeRay raised an eyebrow in an almost maniacal fashion.
Devon Michaels told her again "Yes I'm serious. This is serious, so we'd better get moving or else we're gonna have a lotta trouble when the Master returns from town."
Sandee looked at them like they were crazy, but DeRay began issuing orders to the maid enforcers around her and to "SANDEE,"
"HUH!?!?"
"WAKE UP! We've got an emergency situation here! Let's go!"
"Uhhh, yeah… okay…" you'd think that another terror attack was about to happen with the way you guys are freakin out!?!?
But Sandee kept that thought to herself as the sharp sound of polished flat heels fell rapidly all around them on plush red carpeted floors, while DeRay told them "MOVE IT! The Master will be back soon enough, but I want this done and over with before he gets home! Let's go!" DeRay then made her way down the center of these SMG shoulder strapped carrying columns of running maid enforcers!
The main center doors were thrown open and they quickly filed out and into the fleet of black four door Dodge Chargers until DeRay made her way down the steps to the backseat of the lead Charger. She then stopped and looked back at the caravan and with a motion the engines all came to life and their headlights came on and she got in her Charger. With precise precision they filed out following DeRay's lead Charger, like a long black snake of metal and the maid enforcer's they carried, they quickly crawled off of the estate and into the early morning Vegas lights looking for something or someone… that clearly DIDN'T BELONG in their Master's turf!
"Move that over there" he started to turn away, but "I SAID OVER THERE! MORON! You drop it, I'll DROP YOU!" With a disgusted sigh he went over to his organizer and started checking to make sure that the new "HOLY SHIT!?!?!"
He immediately turned to the voice that was running up to "What is the matter, why are you" the sound of? Some of his security had him scrambling for cover as he knew the only reason why they'd open up is because someone had decided to "LOOK OUT!!!!" He dove to the floor as bullets began to riddle his first floor living room! "WHAT THE FUCK!?!?" He quickly crawled towards his? Then he recognized the sound and knew right off the bat who the hell they were that was attacking HIM, of ALL PEOPLE! SHIT! Quickly he pulled out his cellphone, clicked it "Status report you fools! You're ruining my priceless collections with your cowboy DIPLOMACY!"
"HOLY SHIT!!!! BOSS WE GOT TROUBLE!!!! It's that recluses CREEPY PORN BITCHES!!!!"
DAMMIT! Drake yelled into the cellphone "Cease fire, CEASE FIRE YOU FOOL! Stop shooting before you make matters WORSE!"
"SIR!? They drew arms"
"I DON'T CARE WHO DREW WHAT! THEY'RE SMARTER THAN THEY LOOK! CEASE FIRE BEFORE THEY VENTILATE YOUR RETARDED ASSES!!!!" they're trying to get in, it must be because....
Sure enough a polished and gleaming shoe came down with authority right in front of his face as he was reaching for his piece from his back hip-holster "Ah-ah-ah. Wouldn't wanna leave a stain on your pretty carpet… MAGGOT!" Devon Michaels reached down as two more maid enforcers flanked her and the fighting out front stopped. Drake grimaced as the bitch actually was strong enough to yank him up off the fuckin floor "C'mere you little WORM!"
"Devon, so nice to see you again?" SHIT! I told those TWO BITCHES! DAMN IT! "I wish you would have called dear, we could have OH!"
"Cut the crap, Bloodsucker! You'd sell your momma down the river if the bitch had any value."
"Devon, you wound me deeply, you look as lovely as ever, OW!"
"Shut up, dickless DICK! WHERE IS IT!?!?"
"My dick, well it's down my UHLL! That wasn't necessary"
"I said, WHERE IS IT!?!?"
DeRay caught Devon by her wrist right as she was about to bash their semi-injured host right in his EYE "That's enough Devon." As Devin stopped Devon, more maid enforcers quickly searched and seized Drake's firearms and a few smaller items that had deadly intent written all over them.
"You do know I have a permit for those?"
"SHIIIITT, NOW WHAT?"
"Shut-up asshole before we shoot the shit outta you."
"Touchy, very touchy… must be time for your special friend to visit you this month, ay?"
Devon glared at their well dressed host, the wealthy power broker and middleman known as Drake "You're scum Drake, and you should be lucky I didn't lead this fuckin mission," Devon walked off leaving him with "I would've killed your ass and wiped this hellhole off the face of the earth. Scummy, bastard."
"Devon," Drake watched her leave and boy, did he enjoy… watching her leave "we really got off on the wrong foot." But then he realized that the other "Ahem, I guess you're gonna give me a hard time too, ay DeRay?"
"No."
"Then why," he straightened himself up trying to ignore the loss of some of his valuables "tell me, what do I owe this 'unexpected visit' to, from one of Geese's most cherished maid enforcers?"
DeRay's face held no love for him as she said "Where is the Dark Wolf?"
Drake raised an eyebrow "Dark Wolf? Uhhh, Dark… Wolfff? AH, yes! The card game? Ah, yes! I have a verrrry rare"
Devon ran up on him from behind and clubbed him in the back of the BRAIN "THE FUCKIN DILDO, DUMB ASS! WHERE THE FUCK IS THE DILDO, DUMMY!!!!" She then began putting the boots to him as he fell to the floor! She was joined by the two that had originally been at her side! They ran up and began joining in on the beat down "SCUMMY PERV! FUCK IS THE DILDO DUMMY!"
"TALK OR DIE!!!!" "GIVE'EM ONE FOR ME!" "YOU'RE JUST A LECHER!!!!" "DIE LECHER, DIE!"
Drake yelled up at them "How can you call me lecher when you're all dressed like every man's WETDREAM! I CAN'T GRASP THIS NEW AGE WOMAN CRAP!"
"SHUT UP, SCUM!" "KICK YOU WHERE IT HURTS! RIGHT WHERE IT HURRRTTTTSS!!!!"
"I don't have my wallet on me BITCH!!!!"
DeRay simply stood there as Drake was trying to cover up! Fool, you need to fess up before these bitches kick you to death. Then again, you are fairly loyal to your customer base, so? DeRay lifted her head up from looking at the beat down to see how many more of her, she had plenty in here. With a sharp head motion towards all of the remaining priceless antiques that sat in broken glass cases and ornate stands. As well as some stands that clearly had bulletproof glass "There." DeRay pointed with her head and the maid enforcers in here began tossing the shit on the floor and breaking anything that could break which caused an instant heart-wrenching cry from Drake "STOP IT!!!! STOP, THAT'S PRICELESS! NOOOO, NOT THAT, STOP!"
That only made Devon even madder "I knew it! You care more about material than people! Fuckin bloodsucker, DIE! DIE ALREADY!"
"THAT'S RIGHT LECHER!!!!" "LOSER!"
"FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU BITCHES! YOU'RE COMMENTS ARE VERY ANTI-SEMETIC!"
Devon kicked him "YOU AREN'T JEWISH! LOSER!"
"I'M RE-CLAIMING LOST HERITAGE! BLACKS AREN'T THE ONLY DISCONNECTED PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY! I'LL TALK! JUST STOP! STOP!"
DeRay sighed and Devon immediately withdrew, then ran back and kicked him AGAIN "PUSSY!"
"OW! FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?"
"SHUD-UP!" she kicked him again and backed off as DeRay sighed loudly. The other two also withdrew as Drake got himself together on the floor.
Dignity is the key to diplomacy, although a hospital may be the key, to my longevity. With that thought, Drake rose to his feet like a man unbroken, but bruised. Beaten, but now bowed. Fixed his shirt, fixed his hair, then he softly said "I could use… an ambulance… I'm in terrible pain now… thanks to your rabid… and BITTER! Attack bitches."
DeRay ignored his comment "Drake, cut the crap." as Sandee entered and started whispering to Devon. The pair left out while their leader asked their clearly contained host "We've had this conversation before Drake." Drake nodded but DeRay didn't let him get a word in edgewise "You can do what you do, but all items traveling in or out of this region must be listed on your itinerary lists. The Dark Wolf is banned from not just the Master's territory, but from the Continental United States, all of its extended territories, plus Guam and the Virgin Islands."
Drake sighed and shifted his eyes away "You sound like a fuckin infomercial."
He heard the rapid footsteps and threw his hands up "ALL RIGHT-ALL RIGHT-ALL RIGHT!!!! ENUFF WITH THE KICKIN!"
"Then stop fuckin around, sneaky little BITCH!"
Clearly someone didn't have their daily dose of DICK and now you're taking it out on me! Drake looked at DeRay "Do you have ANY CONTROL OVER THESE BITCHES!?!?"
DeRay shrugged "The Dark Wolf is a threat to all of us, so in this case, no."
"Tch, with all 'the wood' that you all get from your 'Master', I have no clue why"
He went down on one knee from the butt of an SMG to the back of the fuckin BRAIN! As he struggled to stay conscious he heard them actually getting ready to SHOOT HIM "Now, NOW WAIT, oh-fuck-that-smarts! Wait, I spoke in haste, ow. I spoke in haste, easy ladies, easy. Cooler heads prevail, put, put the guns down."
DeRay looked down at him "Our personal lives are not up for discussion, nor are they the reason why we are here. You have brought an unauthorized item into the Master's territory and sold it to an unknown client or clients. If you do not produce the correct name then we will peel the flesh off of your body starting with your eyelids, fingernails and toenails. Joke time is over smuggler, talk or die."
Drake looked up at her "Jesus," he looked around and for once he could actually smell "you killed my men?"
"Time is wasting Drake and soon so will your blood."
"I always thought you were for show, you know, foxy boxing? Shit like that? You, you actually killed my men? Fuck is wrong with you, you bitches are crazy! This is supposed to be for show, a fuckin show! Rated PG-13, shit like that!"
"This is business. The show is over," DeRay reached down for him "and so is your life." and she felt the tightness of her choker and the reminder of her Master's lessons, she could hear his voice telling her and she had to obey, she MUST OBEY! I love to obey, all that mattered was finding the cursed item. I will obey, and unfortunately for Drake, he'd played too much…
"Die… you worm…"
*******************************************************************************************
"This is the life." Lindsay sat back as her slave servant poured her another drink, right to the brim and not a drop more "Perfect Melissa, perfect."
Melissa straightened and nodded with a smile as she told her loving Mistress "I live to serve you milady."
"HEY!?"
Lindsay looked over at Paris who was shaking her arms and hands off "Klutz!" but as Lindsay laughed, Paris looked over at her from her beach chair "I told you to stop doing that shit! Every time you make Melissa say shit like that," Paris pointed to her French maid slave, Britney "this bitch fucks up and dumps something on me or nearly fuckin clobbers me with somethin!" Lindsay started laughing as Paris screamed at her "STOP LAUGHIN," then she started laughin her damn self "these bitches kinda throw PMS revolt fits and shit! Maybe we need to use the Dark Wolf on them again?"
Lindsay stopped laughing then "No, no-noh. We barely brought them around from the last time. We don't wanna fuckin kill'em by givin them two hardcore humpings in a 24 hour period, do we? I don't know if they can handle it so close together."
Britney actually drew back and pleaded "Na, na-nah, noh Mistress, pleaz. That-that, you don't have to do that!" she dropped to her knees, dropping the serving tray and all the shit on it as she tucked her head low and her ass high as she pleaded "Pleaz don't! I, I? I don't mean to disobey, honest, HONEST! It's just, it's just" she looked up at Paris with so much fear "I?"
Melissa's hands started trembling and she WANTED TO GO TO BRITNEY, but, her legs wouldn't move! They just… wouldn't move, Britney!? What have they done to us… what have they done to you? I'm so sorry. I'm so fuckin sorry… I can't protect you. I'm so fuckin sorry…
Lindsay and Paris' attention was diverted away from Britney as the sound of Melissa dropping her bottle startled them, but Melissa's heartfelt begging "PLEASE, it's my fault! MY FAULT! PLEASE DON'T, please Mistress, please I beg of you. Please don't punish Britney. I'll gladly take whatever punishment you have for her along with my own, BUT PLEASE!? Please don't hurt her." Melissa prostrated herself as much as she could.
Lindsay sat shocked while Paris quickly recovered "Oh mifuckingod, you're… so killing this whole mood. Seriously, if I wanted that… I would've called Nicole over."
Lindsay smirked and then busted out laughing as Paris told their new slave friends "Look, Stone Rage's Battle Zone is MINE! I'm the American Bad Ass, ME, GOT IT! Those other bitches, the ABA? They just got stomped on Prime Time TV! So, LATER FOR THEM! They were fuckin posers anyway! But, me and LL here, cause you are the GOAT baybee,"
Paris leaned over and wrapped her arms around Lindsay's shoulders as Lindsay smiled and giggled till Paris told her "Gimme some more, mmmm-mmm-mmm. Tasty Lohan lips, see that?" She pressed the side of her face against Lindsay's and looked at Melissa "That was hot, okay. I got money like the Gen Prime bitches. I'm more popular than any of the Gen Next nobodies. I'm more Fab than the Fab-4 and when I'm done assembling my mercenary army of fuckdoll's and twat troops, thanks to that fuckin AWESOME MONSTER DONG DILDO, NNNH-HA-HA-HAH! This fuckin LEAGUE will be, like, my own plaything! Bitches are gonna fuckfight on the regular! I'll charge high ass pay-per-view ratings and shit will be like, AWESOME! Then I'll have my own fuckin money and I can tell everybody to suck my left tit and SHUT-UP!"
Melissa kept her head low and bowed and scraped, anything to keep these two jerks focused on her and away from Britney.
Lindsay caressed Melissa's hair "You're still trying to protect your girlfriend, aren't you?"
Melissa looked up at her "No Mistress."
"You get this real puppy-dog look on your face whenever I say that to you."
Britney tried to get up! LEAVE HER ALONE!
Lindsay loved that totally helpless look on Melissa's face "You look so hot like that Melissa. You fuck like a pro. Stand up, 'Sabrina'."
Melissa stood up as Britney tried to say something, but not one word left her lips as Lindsay told her best bud to shake her money maker and all would be forgiven. YOU BITCH! But Britney was a prisoner in her own body, a victim of two stray fuckin dogs who clearly knew they couldn't actually FIGHT their way to the top! So they were intent on STEALING THEIR WAY TO THE TOP! You two BITCHES! Melissa, Melissa STOP! STOP! Ohhhh, noh, you fuckin CUNTS! If I ever, I swear you'll pay for this… you'll PAY FOR THIS SOME HOW!!!! SOMEBODY HELP MEH!? SOMEBODY SAVE US!!!!
Melissa danced, and she danced damn well and good. Slowly gyrating to the silent music in her mind as she looked back on the Blond Ambition days and realized that they'd never stooped this low. They'd done some foul shit, but? Finding a way to make people prisoners in their own bodies? Humiliating them, attacking them while they were down with this kinda shit in mind? Never, we never went… this far… I can't believe how far… we've fallen. How could this have happened?
But while her mind was fully aware, her body was winding and working quite well and Lindsay reached out and slapped her on the ass and got a good grip "Nice, healthy ass!"
Paris agreed and started to reach out when her cellphone rung with the warning ring tone "Oh SHIT!?"
Lindsay told Melissa "Shows over MJH!" she immediately turned her attention to Paris "What's wrong?"
Paris scrambled over to her phone picked it up and looked "Must be paparazzi, but? At this hour?"
Then both of them heard a loud cry and then Paris heard one of her bodyguards as they sat out here on the rooftop! Paris looked at Lindsay "WTF was THAT!?!?"
Then all HELL BROKE LOOSE!!!!
All four bitches cried out as the actual "OHMIGOD!?!?" Paris looked around wild-eyed "IS THAT FUCKIN GUNFIRE!?!?! WTF WTF WTF!?!?! BRITNEY! PROTECT ME!"
FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!? TABLE DANCE FOR THE GUNMEN!?!?!
But sure enough, Britney jumped in front of her mistress as the sound of gun violence littered the air and then intensified! OH MY GOD! I'M GONNA GET KILLED FOR PARIS HILTON AND LINDSAY LOHAN!?!?!? THAT'S BULLSHIT!!!! UTTER BULLSHIT!!!!
"We gotta get outta here!" Lindsay scrambled by Paris "Melissa come ON! Paris, let's GOH!" Quickly she grabbed the box that housed the Dark Wolf and scrambled for the way back into the house as Paris stood paralyzed on the roof with Britney standing out in front of her like a dumb blond bitch! "PARIS C'MON!!!! THIS IS SERIOUS! WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!!!!"
Paris snapped outta it "Oh, okay, OKAY! C'mon Britney, you DUMMY!"
"Yes mistress!" DUMMY!?!? Fuck am I THE DUMMY!!?? You told me to stand there you fuckin walkin STD AD!
They scurried down the steps staying low as they heard fighting out front! "We just gotta get to the garage and we'll haul ass outta here!"
But then Paris stood straight up "Fuck am I DOING!? I'm callin the fuckin POLICE!"
Melissa would have yelled if she could! I've been SAYING THAT THE WHOLE TIME YA DUMB BLOCK-A-CUNT CHEESE!
Paris made sure, she got low again "Hello, 911?"
"Joe's Pizza?"
"911?"
"Joe's Pizza?"
"NINE, ONE. ONE!?!?"
"JOE'S, FUCKIN, PIZZA!?!?!" Paris screamed and hung up!
Lindsay looked at her "I just tried to call"
But Paris finished it for her "Joe's FUCKIN PIZZA!?!? I KNOW! C'MON!"
They raced down the steps, reached the door to the basement garage and scurried down into DARKNESS!
"Oh shit" Paris whispered "oh, fuckin shit."
Britney sighed, we are so fuckin dead.
"We shoulda turned on the light." Lindsay whispered.
NO SHIT, BITCH! Melissa cursed! I've become a cursing MACHINE with all this BULLSHIT LATELY! FUCK, FUCK-ITY, FUCK! My life is in such fuckin ruins… and I'm gonna die in a basement because I got snuck by two of the dumbest cunts and fucked with a magic dildo… I hate… my life… and whoever is responsible for this… I fuckin hate you…
"The car is over there," Paris whispered "they've stopped shooting."
They heard footsteps overhead "Mistress they're in the house." Britney whined.
"C'mon, we'll get in the car and blast our way out." Paris whispered.
"Right." Lindsay said.
"Wrong." said someone amongst them.
Paris pissed herself while Lindsay BOLTED! The lights came on and the not so fearsome foursome were surrounded! Lindsay took shots to her tits from these bitches FISTS that sent her up off her feet and onto her ass amidst her three friends!
"DON'T MOVE!" Sandee pointed her SMG at them! Then she saw it "THERE IT IS! LOHAN HAS IT, SEIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZE HERRRRRRRRR!!!!"
Lohan's eyes widened as they descended on her like a bunch of RABID BITCHES IN HEAT!!!! Then the circle closed on the others and Sandee screamed for them to take them!
"I'm a HILTON! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO MEH, ARGH!!!!"
BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO BRITNEY SPEARS
TO PARIS HILTON
TO MELISSA JOAN HART
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