Salma's Shopping Spree/Speared through the Hart

VS
Salma Hayek & Penelope Cruz Vs Britney Spears & Melissa Joan Hart

As far as Salma and Penelope were concerned Las Vegas might as well be a fuckin riot zone! All kinds of underworld shit was going on right before everyone and anyone's eyes and Salma knew that there was plenty of opportunity to be had if she could just keep her eyes open and keep from getting waist deep in it "Okay, everything is set" she told Penelope and then she pointed "Ooo, OOO! LOOK, see, see!"

Sure enough Penelope could see Nikki Cox hauling some bitch by her mane!* Penelope smirked and then busted out laughing as she said "They are still crawling all over this place looking for the Fab Four?"

Salma made sure to chime in "I know, what a bunch a fuckin losers." Salma made sure to steer clear and keep her hummer moving. She'd brought this big piece of shit for one reason and one reason ONLY! To haul ass once her and Penelope found what they were looking for, but not haul ass as in burnin rubber. Uh-uh, no, hauling ass, as in actual ass!

Where are they, Salma thought, but then "HOLY SHIT LOOK!?!?" Salma slowed down as she saw a blonde leaving in a fucked up daze, surrounded by surly bodyguards?

Penelope squinted but finally said "Holy shit that's Madonna?!?! That bitch looks tore up from the floor up!"

Salma immediately nodded and smiled and then said "Hold on, I'm gonna park here and we can inspect the wreckage." As the Material Girl was being practically shoveled into her car the two troublemakers quietly slipped by, sunglasses and all, while the crowd was breaking up. Salma had already gone over her game plan with Penelope so they knew to listen closely for certain shit so they would know and AHHHH, there it was.

Within moments Salma was quietly following behind a bunch of spectators who described a one-sided showdown between Generation Next and Blond Ambition in which Gen Next had initially fought with BA in some rattrap watering hole! Ahhh, once again the dirty duo was brought back to their own lovely little Tex-Mex Western style saloon. Both were sure that the bar tender wasn't missing their barroom brawls in his backwater establishment.

Salma and Penelope made sure to stay close as they heard that in the end BA agreed to a loser disbands match which only made Penelope shake her head as she looked at the fact that Madonna was past her prime and Britney was not even close to being back in shape and Melissa Joan Hart? Fuck did she do for that group anyway "What do you wanna do Sal?"

Sal responded immediately "Madonna hauled ass up out of here, so more likely than not Spears and Hart are still struggling back at the fuckin scene of the crime. C'mon, we'll check it out."

Quickly the Mexican Iberian Connection was off and before long they had used their "celeb status" to weasel their way into the resting place of the now defunct and destroyed Blond Ambition's resting place. Britney's bodyguards were none too pleased about them being there, but Salma turned on the charm and after a few tense moments they were led to the back where amid a group of losers, hanger-on's and neer-do-well's, sitting at one of the old make-up tables was the defeated and thoroughly demoralized Britney Spears. She looked like a hot mess! Across from her was Melissa Joan Hart looking dazed and defeated as well.

"HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!?!?" Britney looked at Melissa who couldn't even look her best friend in the eye "MJ" Britney pleaded "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!?!? LOOK AT THIS CRAP, THIS SHIT!!!! Everything's all fucked up" it was at this point that one of Britney's bodyguards whispered in Britney's ear while Melissa was actually looking over at Salma and Penelope and looking none too pleased… or comfortable.

Shit, Melissa thought, what the fuck is WRONG WITH THEM!?!? Why the FUCK WOULD THEY LET, but as soon as Melissa saw Salma and Penelope staring daggers at her she was actually forced to look away. Bitches! Melissa said to herself, last thing we need is two more sorry sluts to come up in here and start some shit! WHY THE FUCK DID THEY LET THEM IN!?!?

But as Melissa was practically pissing her panties, Britney was waving off the guard. However, money talks and bullshit walks. Salma, seeing how vulnerable Britney and her bud bitch Melissa were, quickly ponied up some money and two of the now bought goon guards approached the idiot that had led them in here and whisked him off to stop some "nosy paparazzi", leaving a very nervous Melissa and an irate Britney fuming "GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB FUCKS!!!!"

Salma smiled "Men, they're like little boys. You give them something that they want" and then she started to slowly approach Britney and Melissa "You give them something they think they need and poof! They just… disappear… to go play with their new little toy."

Melissa got up and quickly moved around in front of Britney "What do you want Salma?"

I fucked up in our fight against Generation Next, Melissa thought, I gotta protect Britney! I gotta come through for her this time! Meanwhile behind Melissa, Britney sat stunned. She had it all at one point, but now she was in a downward spiral with no fuckin end in sight! Her personal problems aside, she used to be one bad ass bitch, but now she had her tail shoved so far up her ass she couldn't even react to the fact that MJ was now desperately trying to stop Salma and Penelope while she sat on her thumbs.

"I said what do you want?" Melissa tried to put some bass in her voice, but she was still very much defeated from the cunt-kicking she'd gotten not nearly long enough ago "Back off Salma, I mean it!"

Salma smiled as she stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Penelope and she knew that just the image that they were presenting to these beaten down and broken bitches!?!? In Salma's mind this was how she wanted Lucy and Vivica. She wanted Lucy, the cock-eyed cunt, to be standing in front of her barking like the little toy dog of a bitch that she was! Salma could see the image of Liu overlapping Melissa and she knew what she wanted, what she needed, to do. I will… break you… and I will… enjoy it…

Melissa had no fuckin idea what the fuck was going through Salma Hayek's mind but she damn sure knew it didn't have shit to do with Ugly Betty or Uncle Teddy! Some magic powers would be real FUCKIN GOOD ABOUT NOW, Melissa thought! But I can't back down, Brit's in trouble and fuckin MADONNA! Her boys got her the fuck outta here "L, l, l, LOOK! JUST BACK OFF!!!!"

"Little blond bimbo" Salma sneered "What the fuck are u gonna do… now that Britney is all busted up like her marriage" she shoved Melissa who staggered "Like her career" she shoved Melissa again who actually yelped, but Melissa still didn't throw a punch "And like you're about to be, for getting in my way."

Penelope took her queue and buried her fist deep in Melissa's gut causing the one time Teenage Witch to double over with a hard and beaten groan from her gut!

"STOP IT!!!!" Britney exploded to her feet and rushed over and helped Melissa who sat in a deep crouch, holding her stomach, suckin wind and trying desperately to get up… and failing miserably "LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!" Britney yelled "MJ, MJ are you alright?" As soon as MJ kept trying to paw Britney back behind her, Spears knew that all that mattered to her best friend was keeping her from getting further humiliated and that was why she loved her so much! Britney rallied her courage and stood to her feet quickly and yelled at Penelope "FUCKIN BITCH!!!!"

Penelope smiled as she caught Britney's fist and told the defeated diva "Please, you washed up, dried up, LOSER."

Penelope then shoved Britney's fist back but Britney caught herself quickly and threw a punch only to taste the sharp sting of Penelope slapping her down to join Joan Hart "AAAHHHHH!!!!"

MJ tried to help Britney "PLEASE, JUST LEAVE US ALONE!!!! NOHHHH!!!!"

Penelope used her boot to shove the whining blond bitch out of the way as she told Melissa "Blond AMBITION! Everyone knows that blond's only AMBITION" Penelope started STOMPING ON MJ "IS TO BE ABLE TO WALK AND CHEW GUM!!!!"

Salma laughed, but then when she saw Britney… looking so wounded and helpless and trying to cover up for her friend she just told Penelope to "Stop."

Penelope looked at her "What? Why?"

Meanwhile Britney was trying desperately to help MJ "MJ! ARE YOU ALRIGHT!?!? DON'T WORRY I'LL GET US OUT OF THIS!!!!" but all Britney kept saying to herself was that even her own entourage had sold her out!

Salma took a deep breath and she quietly told Penelope "Look at them… they're finished" and Penelope looked at Melissa, huddled and held by Britney, who was trying to summon up enough strength to stand and face them "Look at them" Salma repeated and then said "This is the kind of crap that he would deal with."

Penelope looked at Salma abruptly and said "No way, these two?"

But Salma nodded and replied "Uh-huh… these two. Look Britney" and Britney looked up at Salma half filled with fear and half her face filled with anger "You used to be a multi-time champ, but look at you? You've lost everything. Now you've even lost your group and you've lost your edge. Beating you would be like picking through the garbage, BUT… if you can climb up out of the trash heap… I could use your help in resolving some things."

Britney couldn't believe what "So you come in here, let your dyke girlfriend kick the crap out of MJ and then think I'm gonna join you? You must be fuckin JOKING!?!?"

Salma sucked her teeth "Tsk, tsk, tsk… now Blondie… why did you have to talk like that? Why with the disrespect, when you can't even defend yourself?" Britney trembled for a second and started to yell for her guards, ENOUGH WITH THE FAKE TOUGH-GIRL CRAP! But as she went to utter a word Penelope's boot was hard at her HEAD!!!!

As soon as MJ heard Britney's brutal sounding cry she plowed into Penelope "GET AWAY FROM HER!!!!"

"OHHH U BITCH!!!!" Penelope quickly regained her footing and locked her arms up underneath the desperate blond bitch and actually let MJ's hard charging forward motion overwhelm her!?!? Melissa couldn't make heads or tails of why Penelope was going down NOW and not when she first rammed into her, but she felt that sharp upwards motion of Penelope wrenching her up by her GUT and that is why it is called a Gut-Wrench suplex!

Britney watched in shocked horror "MJ!!!!" as Penelope slung Melissa, lifting her up even as Melissa tried her damndest to resist "PLEASE DON'T!!!!" Britney didn't wanna see MJ get dumped on her head again, especially since she'd JUST taken that kinda punishment from Generation Next, but her pleas fell on deaf ears as Salma watched.

"Next time you and your friend won't mouth off." Salma simply turned back to face Britney as she heard the slap of body on concrete along with the pathetic wailing from Melissa "Where are you going Britney, I'm not done with you."

Britney knew what that meant and she didn't wait "NOH!!!! FUCKIN BITCH, DAMN YOU AND THE BORDER YOU BROKE THROUGH!!!!" Salma stepped back away from Britney's sloppy punches and then she met Britney head-on and they locked up "I WON'T GO DOWN TWICE!!!!"

"You trailer park trash" Salma sneered "You remind me of another stupid bitch I just beat! Talking shit after all of the shitty choices you've made!" Salma quickly forced Britney's arms down and snatched her up in a side headlock! Britney yelped and tried to fight out of it as she heard MJ whining even through all of the scuffling with Salma! Britney tried to pick Salma up, but Salma kept struggling and it only frustrated Britney even more! Then she felt Salma tightening the headlock and she cried out even harder! I can't fight back-to-back like this ANYMORE!!!! WHERE THE FUCK R MY GUARDS!!!!

Penelope blocked Melissa's arm and laughed at her "You're just as easy as they said!"

"BITCH I'M MARRIED!!!!" Melissa screamed!

"Then why the fuck are you OUT HERE WHORE!!!!" Penelope powered right through MJ's guard and caught her right in her ribs and then as MJ yelped Penelope punched her right between the fuckin EYES!!!!

"UHNNLLL!!!!" but even as MJ backed away Penelope hauled back with her boot from somewhere around New Mexico and cunt-kicked the CRAP out of MJ where her thighs instinctively locked up around Penelope's boot while MJ cried out with all she had and her arms just dropped!

Britney, hearing that heart-rending bitch-bark powered her way out of Salma's headlock and shoved the stunned siren aside as she screamed "MELISSA!!!!" Britney got her bearings in enough time to turn and see Penelope just unload a brutal right-cross catching the already done in Melissa dead on her jutting jaw "MELISSA!!!!" Melissa's head snapped hard to Penelope's left while Melissa's body just shut the fuck down and she was staggering and slumping, collapsing in on herself like the deadweight she'd been reduced to!

Penelope turned towards Britney and puckered her beautiful lips at her as she heard the sweetest sounding moan from Melissa as she crumpled in on herself, out like a light! Britney raced at Penelope and Penelope shook her head with a quick sharp motion to show Britney that charging her headlong was like asking to join her fucked up friend.

"YOU BITCH!!!! YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THATTTTTTTTTT!!!!!" Blonde Ambitions destroyed, my marriage is destroyed, I won't let MJ get destroyed too!

Penelope squinted at Britney and stood motionless as she could envision many an old wild west showdown and she was determined to put this little blond buffalo right on her ASS "C'MON THEN BLONDIE!!!!"

Britney screamed "ALL OVER YOUR FACE, MEXICAN BITCH!!!!"

Now Penelope was pissed, I am NOT HISPAN, why bother! Britney unleashed the mother of all haymakers and Penelope dodged it! Then Britney followed with a left and Penelope backed off, but then Britney's running start PAID OFF "GOTCHA U BITCH!!!!"

She SLAMMED INTO PENELOPE as Penelope yelled "IN YOUR DREAMS TRAILER TRASH!!!!" and did the same slick shit she had done to Melissa! She grabbed hold of Britney's top and rolled onto her back while sticking her knee right in Britney's belly!

"WHAT THE FUCK!?!?" Britney screamed as Penelope easily flipped the fast ass piece of trailer trash right off of her and over her fuckin head as soon as Penelope's back hit the concrete!

"SO LONG LOSER!!!!" Penelope laughed at her as she watched Britney's face contort in shock and panic along with the weird ass sight of watching Britney bite it from UPSIDE DOWN, CAREENING THROUGH THE FUCKIN AIR!!!!

Britney screamed at the top of her lungs like the bitter broken bitch that she was as Penelope had turned all of her momentum against her and she just wailed!!!! She didn't know where the fuck she was or what the fuck she was gonna hit but her body just kept saying that she was done. It was over. Her nipples hardened like hell at the fact that she'd been tricked, plus she'd been beaten AND BEATEN TWICE IN ONE NIGHT! GEN NEXT HAD FUCKED HER OVER! MADONNA HAD FUCKED HER OVER and she cursed bitterly as she creamed from her cunt at how it was MADONNA'S DUMB ASS IDEA TO FIGHT WITH THAT FUCKIN STIPULATION! EVERYBODY HAD FUCKED HER OVER TONIGHT!!!!

But one thing came to the forefront… MJ. Melissa stayed by her side… stayed loyal to the end… Britney knew she was stronger than MJ, but in the end it was MJ who tried to protect her "I'm sorry Melissa…"

Salma smiled as Britney crashed and burned! She slammed right into a pile of fucked up folded up cardboard boxes and the rest of the plastic wrap and cellophane shit that had been piled up against the far wall now had Britney added to it! Salma was still savoring the sweet screams of the starlet even now as Britney was buried under a mountain of empty boxes and shit "Basura…" Salma smiled and then spoke up "Trailer trash belongs with the trash… Basura, heh, heh-heh, ha-ha, HA-HA-HAH! BASURA!!!!"

Penelope got up and looked at Salma who was losing it laughing at Britney "I tried to flip her onto her little girlfriend but the bitch was coming at me too fuckin fast so she just SHUUUUU, flew straight to the fuckin trash heap!"

Salma regained her composure "C'mon, these two are useless." Penelope nodded and the Band of Bitches took their leave while Melissa Joan Hart tried to get up… her eyes half-whites as she saw them walking away laughing at them. Melissa uttered some slurred words while in her heart she wanted desperately to get them, but what her heart wanted and what the constant thumps to her head needed… were two entirely separate things. What she needed now was rest and regardless of how much she wanted to fight on, she was exhausted.

Everything was ruined, gone, and she had no idea how they were going to come back from this but one thing stood out as she struggled to stay awake "Bitches… you fuckin bitches… I swear… somehow… I'll make you pay for… thisssssss" Then all that Britney's last loyal bitch could feel was the stone cold reality of the concrete floor that Penelope had put her on and the hard tinkling she was doing from failing her friend… as well as herself "I'll… get youuuuu… for thisssssssss"

* EFLV ABA Hunt Nikki Cox vs Roselyn Sanchez

BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO SALMA HAYEK
TO PENELOPE CRUZ
TO BRITNEY SPEARS
TO MELISSA JOAN HART
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DOWNLOAD - Heroine Tobatzu 19 - Part 3