SALMA HAYEK

Born: September 2nd, 1968 Height: 5'2" Weight: 115 lbs Eyes: Brown Orientation: Bisexual because of my HOT MEXICAN BLOOD, keep believing that shit, BITCH! Measurements: 36DD-25-37 Years Catfighting: 21
Previous League: BZL (defunct), G3L, SF-CF, CACF (Cancun’s Catfighting Federation of Mexico), UPA (Yucatan Pro-Am of Mexico), CAU (Central American Underground)
Previous Belts: BZL War Queen 1x, BZL Hardcore Champion 1x, G3L Champ 2x’s, G3L IC Champ 3x’s, G3L Tag Champ (with Penelope Cruz) 3x’s, CACF Champion 4x, CACF Tag Champ (with Penelope Cruz) 2x’s,
Finishing Moves: Got MILF!? (Tit-smother submission!), Four Corner Contraption! (Irish-whips bitch to corner and hits BODY SPLASH ON HER! She then simply repeats this to the other corners, but on the last corner she hits a FULL BODY SPLASH TO THE TITS OF HER OPPONENT, ACTUALLY LEAVING HER FEET!), Matron BOMB! (Cunt-kick to stun and DOUBLE-OVER OPPONENT! Then she hits a GUT-WRENCH POWERBOMB ON THE BITCH!), Cancun CUTTER! (Nothing more than a SUPER-CLOTHESLINE! TO THE THROAT!)
Strengths: Veteran experience with a global catfighting background, MILF, ultra-aggressive and attacks exposed and perceived weaknesses early and often, Queen of the Clothesline, can withstand multiple finishers even in a long match, Mistress of Charging Attacks, able to take an ass-whipping, can win long matches, Mistress of Body Attacks, great power moves, great brawler, Mistress of BDSM, great technical moves, cunning, good submission moves, great at cutting a promo, great showmanship, good leadership ability, good fighter, some high-flying moves, can reverse some counters some of the time, can actually reverse-reverses some of the time as well, Evil Queen-Complex, arrogant, great stablemate and teammate, abilities increase when working with Penelope Cruz and/or Jennifer Love Hewitt, willing to toady to Geese, willing to be managed by Geese
Weaknesses: Although Salma is built like a tank her years of catfighting has weakened her mentally, her resolve can be broken by withstanding her assaults and then constantly countering back with offense, once she is broken mentally she cannot recover, vulnerable to BDSM when properly used,  her arrogance can be used against her, reminding her of her cunt-and-ass kicking’s during her BZL stint and then dominating the match with her will wear her out till she Sudden KO’s, does not submit, brutally honest to the point of being caustic, can become single-minded to the point of detriment, tits, repeated hits to her tits can actually stun her, repeated hits to her tits cause her to start taking abnormal damage there and can Sudden KO her if done right, although she is Penelope’s lover and Mistress she is very dependent on Penny’s support, will fuck-up if she sees something has happened to Penny, constantly barraging her with offense wears her out, once worn out she cannot recover, extremely prideful which can lead to trouble in and out of the ring

Born September 2nd, 1968 in Coatzacoalcos, Mexico! Salma Hayek, the Mexican Matron! Has seen her share of up’s and down’s in the fickle world of celebrity catfighting! She has won gold in and out of the United States C3 (Celebrity Catfight) Circuit, but when she finally landed with Stone Rage’s, Battle Zone League!? She saw nothing but brighter lights and bigger opportunities and for a time, that’s all there was. But somewhere along the way her relationship within Stone Rage’s inner circle turned South, soured, withered on the vine… and died. As the BZL gained ground and rose to its meteoric heights as the premiere production company for celebrity catfighting in the United States, Salma… fell behind… hard. She soon found herself surrounded by numerous stables and groups of Girl Gangs within the BZL with not one soul in her corner, including Stone Rage. Being the proud woman that Salma is, she attempted to keep fighting SOLO, which led to her getting caught between all of these groups and pretty much being passed around like the local whore! After a string of severe defeats, she abruptly LEFT!

She retreated to one of the absolute last places anyone would look for her… East LA! There she sulked for months on end, drinking herself into a bitter rage until she found herself face-to-face with her old tag partner and best friend for life… Penelope Cruz. Penelope wasted no time in ATTACKING SALMA FOR WALLOWING IN SELF-PITY! After destroying Salma’s new favorite hang-out, Penelope found out that Salma had been drinking herself into a stupor by day… But working her ass off AT NIGHT! At the private facility the owner of this Old West Style saloon owned! Penny was immediately back in love with Sal and confessed the fact that part of the reason why her romance did not work with Tommy-boy was because she could not stop thinking about Sal. And it wasn’t long before Penny told Sal that she would go back to the BZL WITH HER and she’d help her GET EVEN with those bitches that drove her out! And so Penelope sent in an offer and tendered an offer that landed her, OFFICIALLY in the BZL. Then the two of them began working their asses off training by day and fucking by night, which led to many an interesting tabloid tale whenever someone could spot them outside of East LA. The ironic part was that paparazzi and the like, wanted NO PART of the East LA scene which was adamant about keeping Sal and Penny’s privacy THEIR BUSINESS! The two of them became unofficial mayors of the area and were lauded by the residents here which caused them in turn to provide a number of services and donations that this section of LA just wasn’t getting from the city.

But soon… Sal began hearing rumors of something, or someone, stirring in Sin City. A supposedly new C3, also? Some of the people in and around the saloon… began talking about strange women coming and going, watching the saloon. That when approached would drive off after taking pictures of the saloon and the neighborhood. Sal knew for certain that nobody from any tabloid gave a shit about taking pictures of the scenery. These bitches were of course Maid Enforcer’s dispatched by Julia Channel to locate Salma and report back to her. Sal herself, at first, thought it was Stone Rage. But she quickly got that squashed by a memo from the man himself. She then thought it was those douchebag ABA bitches, but she quickly learned that it wasn’t them. She decided to put in a call to one of the most highly reliable “information brokers” in America… The Mouth. Now, the identity of the Mouth? Is known by those in the know, so if I type it here, then I’d have to kill you. And that’s just not right, I want you to read the stories and enjoy yourself… Not read some shit and get all X-Filed up and shit! So, Sal decided to contact the Mouth and sure enough she told Sal and Penny that someone here in the Mouth’s hometown of Sin City, had extended their hand towards Sal and her girlfriend, but!? They’d changed their mind about it. It wasn’t long before Sal was listening as the Mouth, rather sheepishly and somewhat… shaken, began spilling the beans on the events of the last few weeks in Sin City and the fact that the BZL bitches that were there fighting it out!? Had no idea that they were actually all being watched by the Shadow of Sin City, a recluse named Geese Howard. The Mouth then, after Sal forked over some money, a LOT… of money. Was then told by the Mouth, everything she knew about Geese.

Sal was instantly interested in him thanks to the information she got. But she was ticked off by the fact that for whatever reason or another, he’d settled on Vivica Fox to lead his brand new BZL bound stable. Sal was verrrry interested in the fact that Geese intended to manage this stable, personally!         She also found out from the Mouth that Geese was not only an extremely skilled fighter himself, but was constantly kicking the idea around about founding his own league. It was at this point that Sal decided that she needed to get in there and get to Geese, before he got into the BZL with the projected stable that he was going to bring! But neither Sal, nor Penny, not even Geese himself! Would know that the Countdown to Armageddon had already begun on the BZL! Sal and Penny would have a number of Adventures regarding Geese’s Girl group, VLK! But Sal would realize that returning to the BZL might not be a good idea, as Geese appeared to be in no hurry to move his stable into active duty, nor did they have any official contracts with the BZL. So Sal and Penny, requested inactive status, and fortunately for them, they got it before the Backlash of the ABA! This gave them the time and leeway, for Sal to begin her bid to dethrone Vivica and try to convince Geese that he needed a proven bitch like HER, to lead his stable, regardless of what league they were in! It was Sal who issued “the Hit” that led to Jennifer Love Hewitt’s titanic fight in the Diner against Chiaki and then Lucy. Now with JLH and Penny, Salma has her own stable, A Band of Bitches! Intentionally a play on words of Tarantino’s old production company A Band Apart and a direct challenge to VLK which is composed of three of Tarantino’s Evil Bitch Queen’s! From his blockbuster movie, Kill Bill Volume One. Sal has succeeded in finally getting Geese to acknowledge her, which confuses the hell out of JLH since Sal made it seem like she wanted this guy and his girls… really messed up! Either way, Sal is determined to win her way into Geese’s good graces and get the support she never got in any of her previous tours in any of her other leagues. This time she wants to be the bitch who sits in the lap of the man calling the shots….






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