THE ROAD TO
Times are tense and crucial at the ABA headquarters. Today they are having an all day strategy session to chart and right the course. There are several issues to consider. First, Jenny McCarthy failed in her attempt to take the Drama Queen title from Salma Hayek. Her failure is largely due to Halle Berry's interference. The McCarthy Mob now must find a new direction and objective. Most recently, Demi Moore's Stimulus Package suffered defections from Alicia Silverstone and Stacey Dash to the Resistance. In the process Megan Good abandoned the group and has been MIA ever since. Lucy Lui's Lui-Tang Clan has a shot at the Drama Queen title coming up. Denise Richards has yet to make an impact on the league with her group yet.
RETURN OF THE MACK PART 1
& Steady Mobbin'
Starring - Alyssa Milano, Denise Richards, Jenny McCarthy, Jenna Jameson
Daisy Fuentes, Lindsay Lohan, Pink, Aria Giovanni
RETURN OF THE MACK PART 1
The discussion got pretty heated and intense quickly as each lady was quick to throw blame across the room with abandon. However over the course of a lunch break, normal congenialities returned amongst the women. The ladies return from a local bistro and are now laughs and jokes as they convene for a second strategy making session. Jenny McCathy leads the crew with her top lieutenant, Daisy Fuentes. Denise Richards is accompanied by Shannen Doherty. Lucy Liu has Minka with her to protect her interest. Lastly Demi Moore has her second, Vivica Fox. The eight ladies return and open the door to return to their conference room, and all are shocked once the door swings open.
"I just love what you've done with the place." Alyssa Milano says as she sits at the head of the conference table with her feet resting on top of the table. "I really love this gangster concept you've started too. I gets my Italian blood flowing." Then Alyssa announces. "Good news girls, I'm back!"
"Back!?!" a flabbergasted Jenny answers. "What the hell do you mean you're back? Where did you come from? We kicked your ass out of the ABA years ago!"
"Actually Christina Applegate kicked me out of the ABA, and gave me the worst beating of my life during that last match with her. But since you geniuses kicked Christina Applegate out and bashed her brains in, I think it is time for me to return."
"Who the hell said you could come back" Lucy quickly explodes. "Who the hell said we want you back! Give me one good reason I don't kick your ass right now and throw you out of here!"
"Excellent question Lucy." Alyssa calmly answers. "And may I add that your joining has been the best thing to the ABA since I left. I am the original founder and more importantly the vision of the ABA. My vision and Jenny and Christina's viciousness made this group the reason why all of you wanted to be a member. When I was in the group, we took what we wanted, when we wanted and kicked anybody's teeth in that got in our way. The entire league feared us. The Fab Four tried to slow us down and got their ass kicked multiple times. Then from the day I exited the group, everything started deteriorating. Now thing have gotten so bad that you are holed up in this room, trying to get things back to where they were before I left. The answer is simple, I return. I'm not asking for a hand out. I like this gangster concept, where I can challenge a member and get a bosses chair. It weeds out the weak. I want a chance to cull the weak and help bring back our glorious return to dominance in this league."
Everything is quite for a moment. Nobody could really argue the truth or logic of Alyssa's argument. Lucy and Demi were actually nodding in agreement. Finally Denise found a voice to protest. "The rules sate you must be a Made woman to challenge a boss."
"You fucking idiot! Made woman? Hell I made the group. I convinced Jenny, Christina and Nikki Cox to join together, so I could beat Britney Spears for the War Queen title. I got beat, but Christina won the belt. You're fucking stupid. That's why you're the weak link that I'm going to challenge and get rid of." Alyssa says annoyance in her voice.
"Wait a fucking minute." Shannen says as she steps forward. "I don't know why you are giving this skinny chicken head the time of day, but I'm not buying her bullshit." Alyssa rises to her feet as her old arch enemy steps to her. She does not belong here anymore. Alyssa got kicked out of the group for being a sneaking selfish back stabbing bitch! I'm going to make sure that she stays gone! Any challenges for Denise goes through me. I'm her first in command. You got to beat me first before getting in the ring with Denise." Shannen challenges as she comes face to face with her legendary rival.
"I was planning on demolishing you after I was finished with Denise, but if you want to get yours first I can oblige. It would be an act of good faith to the group to show I'm willing to earn my position." Alyssa accepts the challenge with a swagger that entices the other bosses behind the confident woman.
The self proclaimed leader of the group, Jenny retakes control of everything. "Okay as unorthodox as this is, I will entertain the thought of Alyssa coming back, but you definitely need to earn it. Your jealousy tried to turn me and Christina against each other last time. Things are bad enough around here we don't need any more division. You've got to go through Shannen to get to Denise. If you can beat Denise, and then win a vote amongst us three bosses to return as a boss in the ABA. But I promise that if you go back to your old tricks. I will kick you so far out of this group that nobody will ever see you again. Do you understand?" Jenny explains very threateningly.
"No problem Jenny" Alyssa humbly answers. "I just want a chance to prove myself. I belong in the ABA. I was a fool to lose it last time. It will never happen again. The Milano Mack is back!" Alyssa finishes with a coy, magical smile. That smile enchanted everyone in the room not named Denise Richards and Shannen Doherty. They wanted to believe her; they had to believe her, even though they knew she may break their heart.
Things were electrically charged in the ABA Facility. A lot of people were excited, some worried, and others dreaded Alyssa's possible return and others looked forward to it. One thing everyone knew that whether Alyssa's bid is successful, or unsuccessful, things were about to change. Change provides opportunity. In an organization that breeds scheming, many minds were working on how to capitalize on Alyssa's success or failure.
Of course Denise's mind was in overdrive. This is her defining moment in the ABA and the league itself. So far her career has been much adieu about nothing. She has a lot of potential, but cannot accomplish anything. Nobody wants to get into the ring with her. Contenders and pretenders alike view her as a dangerous competitor that is to tough to beat, for the small acclaim you receive from beating her. Her reputation is of being a 'sneaky bitch', who can pull off a victory easily, or one that will capitalize on the smallest mistake. It will take a quality effort to defeat her but it may not be viewed as a quality win, since she is unproven. Her tenure in the ABA has been disappointing to say the least. Very few trusts or want to follow or team with her. Buffie the Body and Shannen are in her group out of necessity, not voluntarily. Repelling Alyssa's bid at her position could easily change everything for Alyssa. Nobody denies that Denise is beautiful, smart and dangerous. Now it is time to prove it.
However Denise had one question that stayed in her head that she just could not shake. The next day she was determined to answer that question. Finally early afternoon Denise asks Jenny to meet her in the security room. The ABA facility has many, many security cameras throughout the building. They are not only for security purposes, but just in case a fight happens in any corner of the building, there are very likely cameras to record it and then sold by ABA Entertainment. Very little goes unnoticed by the camera's eye. Not even the answer to Denise's question.
"So what the Hell is so important that you just had to meet with me today?" Jenny annoyingly asks as she enters the security room to see Denise. The room is fairly small, and has an entire wall of security monitors above a long desk with a few office desk chairs. Denise pulls a chair out for Jenny, and gestures for her to take a seat.
With Jenny sitting in front of the monitors, Denise says, "I had one question that bugged the hell out of me about Alyssa showing up yesterday; How in the hell did Alyssa get into our facility? This place wasn't even around when Alyssa was in the ABA. She never had access or even knows the layout of this place. So I got up early this morning, reviewing security tape to find the answer, and guess what I found."
Denise goes to a key board and dances her fingers across the keys for a brief moment. The main screen shows a back door in the building. Soon Aria Giovanni enters the picture and looking around nervously. Aria is a long time member of Jenny's group, The McCarthy Mob. Next Aria opens the door, and is seen quickly rigging the lock so it will not engage and lock the door properly. Again Aria looks around quickly then pulls out her cell phone and swiftly walks away while starting to talk on the phone. Jenny say "What... Huh?" Denise raises her hand up to call off Jenny and instructs her to keep watching. A minute or two later, Alyssa opens the door. She looks around to make sure the hall was clear then creeps through the door and sneaks down the hall.
Jenny's mouth fell open, seeing one of her girls helping Alyssa. She spins in her chair around in her chair to face Denise. She opens her mouth to speak, but Denise's backhand comes swooping around and pimp smacks the words out of Jenny's mouth! Jenny falls out of the chair to the floor as Denise screeches, "Bitch! You set up the whole thing! You're conspiring with Alyssa to get me out of the group!"
"Denise I had no...." Jenny sputters, but is interrupted as Denise mounts Jenny and starts wrestling to pin her the floor.
"Liar!' Denise bellows as starts to overpower a startled Jenny. "You're trying to manipulate the group to keep in power." Denise rips an arm free to deliver another cracking slap across Jenny's face. Jenny gets a hand up to protect her face and bucks to up seat Denise. When Jenny achieves a little success, Denise changes tactics. As Jenny bucks, Denise rides the flow and rises up to her feet while having a handful of Jenny's shirt. Denise jerks Jenny up to Jenny's surprise, right into a right fist that is plummeting down on Jenny's nose. Jenny falls on her back looking up dizzily. "Sneaky bitch! I wonder what Demi and Lucy will say when I tell them of you conspiring with Alyssa behind their back. They're going to be pissed, and wonder what tricks you've got planned for them too. Ha ha haha I bet they kick your ass too!" Denise reaches down and snatches the woozy ABA boss to her feet with two hands on Jenny's shirt. Denise next cruelly slams Jenny's face into the desk then releases her allowing to Jenny sink back to the floor.
"No! No! Stop! Denise I had nothing to do with this!" Jenny pleads with her hands up, begging off to the cold hearted woman.
"Bullshit!" Denise shouts back. She then kicks Jenny in the side as hard as she could. Jenny rolls over to protect her ribs. In that instant Denise drops to the floor and wraps her legs around Jenny's waist and applies a body scissors from behind. "Aria is long time member of the McCarthy Mob. You've sent her on plenty underground dirty missions that people don't know about."
"But didn't send her to let Alyssa in... I didn't have anything to do with it! I swear!" Jenny confesses in a frantic voice. It made Denise pause momentarily. She actually thought Jenny is telling the truth. That did not stop her from wrapping her arm around Jenny's neck and chin, adding a rear chinlock to her leg scissors. Jenny squirms like a rodent caught in a trap. "Please Denise, it wasn't me. I don't know why Aria opened the door for Alyssa. Please Just let me go and I'll find out what's going on." Jenny dribbles as Denise puts the squeeze on her ribs and neck. Jenny's voice is in obvious distress. Denise is starting to actually believe Jenny. There none of Jenny's usual smugness when she outsmarts someone.
Denise gives Jenny some more hard squeezes and tightens her grip around Jenny's neck. Jenny lets out long moans and groans and her movements slow down from lack of air. "So you say you're not behind Alyssa showing up now? Prove it!" Denise instructs Jenny as she releases hr anaconda like squeeze. Denise gets to her feet and gives Jenny several nasty kicks to her aching side. "You've got 12 hours to get some answers about Aria. If not, I'm going to Demi and Lucy. Then we'll decide if we want a sneaky backstabbing bitch like you in our midst."
"Okay" Jenny breathlessly answers. There is little trust in the ABA. If she is proven to be behind this scheme, what little cohesion they have will crumble. "Thank you. Just give me a chance and I'll give you a full report and deal with the situation. I promise." Her voice cracks with fear and servility.
"I didn't want to go there, but you're forcing the old sneaky conniving bitch Denise Richards back." Denise threatens. "Fine the old Denise is back! It's about to be Return of the Mack up in this bitch, and you're going to see who the real Mack is you punk as blonde bitch!" Denise turns the lights out and walks out of the door, leaving Jenny lying in pain on the floor in total darkness.
Jenny lie there trying to suppress the fear coursing through her body. Jenny is the unquestioned boss in the ABA, but Denise easily established herself as the unquestioned boss in that room. If Jenny did not know the definition of a 'Mack' she is getting a quick and full education. Urban Dictionary defines Mack: To hit on, flirt with, or seduce another by using verbal or sometimes physical means of persuasion. Whether it is Alyssa's sweet words, or Denise's pimp smacking, there is macking in the ABA. After composing herself, Jenny finally gets up. Next she calls Daisy and says, "Get the girls together. Everybody but Aria; we've got a big problem."
Several hours later, an unsuspecting Aria is sitting behind a desk at a large adult bookstore, making a few extra bucks at a sign and greet event. A long line of fans assemble to meet the popular porn Queen, and get an autographed photo or dvd of the beauty. She is having a marvelous time, after hours of fans stroking her ego, and fans telling her how beautiful, sexy and amazing she is. There is only fifteen minutes left before it is time for her to leave. This also make Aria smile. She is looking forward to stopping for a cocktail or two before doing a live chat on her website.
Aria signs quickly for the last people in the line, hoping to get to as many as possible, but keeps one eye on the clock. She is eagerly waiting for the last few minutes to click tock away. Suddenly Lindsay Lohan bursts though the doors. The crowd immediately recognizes the famous actress, and renowned bad girl. There are gasps and shouts of shock and excitement. Lindsay has a worried look on her face. Lindsay ignores the crowd’s excitement and affection, and pushes to the front of the line to get to Aria. "Aria... Aria!" Lindsay calls out as she reaches the table. She lean over the table with a nervous concern etched on her face. "Aria What the Hell did you do?" Lindsay asks with a worried face. "Jenny is mad as hell! She's talking about something you helping Alyssa Milano. She and the rest of the girls are on the way to deal with you now. We've been good friends so I got down here early to warn you."
"Oh shit!" Aria exclaims as her eyes get as wide as saucers. "I was so careful. I didn't think I'd get caught"
"Well you did. What the hell were you thinking about?" Lindsay asks.
"Alyssa offered me a spot in her syndicate if I'd helped her." Aria explains. "You know I've been frustrated over my role or lack thereof in the McCarthy Mob for a long time now. I was going to jump ship to the Milano Mafia after Alyssa gets rid of Denise. I'm fucked now. What should I do?" the scared porn icon asks.
"Aright, Alright. Jenny and the girls are coming through the door any second now." Lindsay says thoughtfully. "Does this place have a back door?"
"Yes!" Aria quickly blurts back.
"You go out the back door. I mean there is no time to waist, Jenny will be here in a moment." Lindsay explains. "I'll tell them you saw me when I walked in and got spooked and ran out the back. That will give you a little bit of time, and then I and the girls are coming after your ass. I'll slow them down as much as I can, but we're coming and I will be with them to beat your ass too."
"Thank you Lindsay. You're a great friend. I won't forget this." Aria says as rises out of her seat.
"Fine just go! I'll hold things down here, just go!" Lindsay rushes.
Aria nods her head and does a hurried jog towards the back store room, then out the back door into an alley way. Aria opens the door, and hurries outside then hears, "Hey Aria, we've been waiting to talk to you." Aria looks up and sees a smiling Jenny McCarthy accompanied by Daisy Fuentes, Pink, and Jenna Jameson.
"That lousy fucking Lindsay Lohan," Aria spits under her breath. "Lead me right into a trap." Aria puts on a forced and uncomfortable smile and says, "Hey guys, what’s up?"
"I was about to ask you the same thing." Jenny calmly replies. "I saw some interesting security footage this morning. It looked like you were helping Alyssa Milano sneak into ABA Headquarters. I know there has to be an explanation. I know my first recruit into the McCarthy Mob isn't double crossing me and making deals and moves behind my back."
"Oh that?" Aria makes light with a chuckle. "That was nothing. She wanted to stick it to that bitch Denise Richards. You hate her, I hate her, everybody hates her. She needs to be out of the ABA as quick as possible. I was just speeding things up. I was doing a public service by helping get rid of her."
"I see" Jenny sarcastically answers. "And you did not see fit to inform me about your little public service. I'm the leader of the ABA and you didn't see fit to tell me that Alyssa Milano is trying to come back and make a power move. That makes me look very bad. It's like either I'm an incompetent, uninformed leader. It makes me look weak, and you know how I feel about looking weak!" Jenny emphasizes. "A woman in my position cannot afford to look weak."
Aria alread knows what comes next. It is her, Milano, The customary gang style beat down to kick her out of the ABA. Interestingly enough this name was born after the group beat down Alyssa Milano and kicked her out of the group initially. Aria shouts, "No Alyssa don't I got this!" and points behind Jenny. All heads turn around looking for Milano, but no one is there. Aria flies into action. First, she socks Jenna with a right hook, decking the unsuspecting slim blonde. Aria pivots and flicks out a stiff straight punch that flattens Pink's nose. The singer’s knees buckle. Then Aria steps forward and delivers a big swinging kick to Daisy’s cunt. Daisy doubles over holding her pussy with her mouth wide open with a silent scream.
Aria starts to run, but Jenny quickly blocks her path. "If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself." Aria squares up quickly and throws a punch at Jenny. The blonde easily slips it and responds a hard jab to Aria's nose, snapping her pretty head back. Next Jenny unleashes a flurry of punches on the stunned brunette. Finally grabs Aria thrust her hips into Aria's body and performs a judo flip on Aria, that sends Aria hurdling through the air, for a very hard landing on the alley concrete. Aria tries to escape, but Jenny's crushing foot comes stomping down on her chest, and pins Aria in place. Jenny just looks around at Jenna, Pink and Daisy then shouts, "What the hell are you waiting for!"
All startled Daisy, Jenna and Pink shake off their trances and leap into action. They swarm on Aria, kicking and stomping her before she has a chance to get up. Aria curls into a screaming ball trying desperately to cover up. After battering a bruising Aria sufficiently, Daisy and Pink reach down and pulls Aria up to her knees and hold her arms. Jenna comes around and faces Aria then unleashes hard, unforgiving blows and slaps across Aria's face. "Yeah, get her." Pink encourages the skinny blonde to continue the beating. Aria is drooping and falling into oblivion. "Hey let me get a chance at her", Pink asks wanting to get in on the fun of punishing a helpless target.
Pink and Jenna change places and Pink hits Aria while Jenna holds Aria's arm. Pink pauses and rips Aria's shirt down the front. Pink pleasures herself, feeling up Aria's big soft tits, She pushes them free of Aria's bra cups, then massages, squeezes and tweaks them at will. It is obvious that Pink is exciting herself playing with Aria's exquisite, pink capped breasts. "Damned these fuckers are amazing" Pink comments before she slaps and punches Aria's boobs. Squeezing, punching, slapping and massaging, Pink is definitely having a grand time playing with Aria's fun bags.
Always serious and about business and results, Daisy interrupts Pink's fun. "That's enough, let me finish this!" Daisy orders. Pink reluctantly stops molesting Aria's breast and switches places with Daisy. She is obviously bummed that she has to quit playing with Aria's tits. Daisy immediately takes a wide swinging bitch slap across Aria's face and shouts "Why!" Daisy gives another homerun swinging bitch slap "Why did you help Alyssa!" Daisy lands another bitch slap and shouts, "Talk Bitch!" Pink and Jenna look on in shock, wondering what Cuban prison that Daisy learned these interrogation tactics.
Aria is a cowering, whimpering bitch with no resolve at this point. "Stop! Stop! Stop! I'll talk, I'll tell you anything, just stop hitting me!" Aria begs.
"I already asked you the question, you stupid bitch! Why did you help Alyssa Milano?" Daisy repeats and slaps Aria one more time, just for the hell of it, although that slap was not as hard as their predecessors.
"Alyssa offered me a chance to be in the Milano Mafia once she takes out Denise." Aria confesses. "I'm tired on being the forgotten member in this group. I never get any camera time. I never get a fight. I never even get an interview. It's like I don't exist unless you need me. Jenna got the shot at the new XXX championship against Spontaneous Xtasty, not me. Jenny promised I could get that shot a long time ago. It was nothing personal; I just made the best decision for me. I've been complaining a long time."
Jenny steps forward, "Aria, I'm sorry you feel like that. I can understand your frustration, and I don't blame you for doing what's best for you and your career. In fact I hope you are successful and Alyssa are successful and you are members in the ABA. It will make the ABA stronger. I will welcome you then, but now.... you're fucked!" Jenny swings her foot back and kicks the beauty on her knees square in the face. Aria's head snaps back, as Pink and Jenna release Aria's arms, allowing her to crumble to the alley ground. "Send the message girls." Jenny says as she turns her back.
Jenna, Pink and Daisy immediately busy themselves stripping the remnants of Aria's top and bra off the unconscious porn queen. Lindsay comes outside and asks, "Did I miss all the fun?"
Pink answers, "Nah just in time for pictures."
With Aria naked from the waist up, Daisy takes out a tube of red lipstick and writes; 'DOUBLE DEALING BITCH' across Aria's chest. They pull Aria to a seated position, and the four hench women gather around as Jenny takes a picture, then Tweets the photo, officially announcing to the world, Denise Richards, Lucy Liu, Demi Moore and rest of the ABA and the world, that the McCarthy Mob has loss a member. It sends the message that the McCarthy Mob is as strong and fearsome as ever. The bulletin is that McCarthy Mob is not to be fucked with!
Pink, Daisy, Jenna and Lindsay are all smiles and congratulating each other on a job well done. Then unexpectedly Jenny announces, "There is just one more small problem to address." Everybody freezes, not knowing what to expect next. Jenny continues, "Daisy, aren't you my first lieutenant? Isn't your job to be my liaison between me and the rest of the team? Shouldn't you have a pulse on the feelings and moral of the team? Isn't your job to address Aria's complaints before they reached meltdown levels? After they have reached such levels, shouldn't you have alerted me?" Jenny asks, raising her voice and getting closer to Daisy. "You've been fucking slipping bitch, and your incompetence could have threatened the whole team!" Jenny yells. "This could have been a lot worse. We're lucky that Aria was somewhat loyal to us and only sold us out to Alyssa Milano. What if she had set a trap and conspired with the Resistance, or The Fab Four, or even Janet Jackson and Generation Prime? All of us would be laying on the ground, getting beaten and fucked in front a lot of cameras in a video that is about to go viral! I blame you for this just as much as I blame Aria what do you got to say for yourself?"
The mood is tense. Daisy and Jenny have been the best of friends since the 80's. The other girls do not know what will happen with this confrontation. Daisy stands staring at Jenny stunned. She cannot believe that her pal Jenny is screaming at her like she is about kick her out the group and order her Milano. Daisy begins to sputter and stumble over her words. Jenna had maneuvered behind Daisy. The Latino fitness queen is also the principal trainer of the group. Jenna has long hated Daisy's torturous work out sessions. She harbors a whole lot of resentment because of them, and is looking forward to putting them to an end, by getting rid of Daisy. From behind, Jenna rams her forearm into Daisy's kidneys. Daisy never saw it coming. She howls like a wolf and drops to her knees, clutching her lower back. Jenna applies a rear chin lock, holding Daisy in place and awaits Jenny's orders.
"Really Jenny? You're going to give me a Milano? You're going to kick me out of the group?" Daisy asks calmly, relying on their long friendship. "After all we've been through?"
"Actually..." Jenny pauses. "No I'm not" Jenny finally says, cutting the tension. "To be honest, my first reaction was to take another picture of you unconscious with 'SLIPPING' written on your chest, but I got a better idea. You will be punished for your failures. You will be demoted from being the second in command. Your new job title will to be my personal body guard. You have one responsibility and you better not fuck it up! You are to protect me at all costs. You make sure nobody infiltrates and challenges me like Alyssa just did to Denise. If it does happen, you handle it by any means necessary. Do you understand?"
"Yes Jenny." Daisy humbly answers. Jenna releases Daisy, trying to hide her eyes rolling in disgust. "I'm sorry for fucking up. It won't happen again." Daisy stands and takes her place behind Jenny.
Jenny lets out a thin smile. Overall things went well tonight. She lost a member, but no big loss. Aria had out lived her usefulness. Jenny would not miss her one bit. It also give an opportunity to find a stronger member than Aria anyway. Most importantly, she got her bodyguard. Daisy is the one person that Jenny trusts in all the ABA. Hopefully Daisy's presence will prevent anyone from challenging her. Standing at 5'10" Daisy is a very imposing woman still, even at her age. Nobody would look forward to tangling with her. The Alyssa Milano's of the league would think twice about challenging her with Daisy watching her back. No more of Denise Richards' ambushes. Given the culture of the ABA, Jenny should have done this years ago. The hierarchy of her organization is reestablished once again. The message is sent to everyone else that the McCarthy Mob is still dangerous and ruthless and still about mob business. While the ABA faces undoubtedly change, Jenny is secure that the McCarthy Mob will stay strong and will be Steady Mobbin'.
"Come on let's get the hell outta here." Jenny commands.
BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO JENNY McCARTHY
TO JENNA JAMESON
TO LINDSAY LOHAN
TO DAISY DUENTES
TO ALYSSA MILANO
TO ARIA GIOVANNI
TO DENISE RICHARDS
TO RAGE! II
FOLLOW Cherie Deville TO HOG TIED.COM!