Born: December 2nd, 1968 Height: 5’3” Weight: 120lbs Eyes: Brown Orientation: Chiaki-chan… Vivica and her Two Little Bitches, Jeri and her Girls, and Geese… and his, that’s NOT GOIN IN ME, MISTER! Now I’m gonna get a call from Asians who Love Black men who’ll bitch a fit and say dumb shit like “Lucy you traitor! How dare you spread rumors about the size of Black men’s blah-blah-blah” oh? Sorry, supposed ta be… fillin out this insane bio so that all of the internet can know all of my business, fine! Measurements: I have small tits with big nipples! Not as big as Bai Ling’s though, good lord have you seen those things?! Somebody called’em, baby chokers! HA-HA! Ahem. I also have a tiny waist and, ready for this one? A Black man loves my
ass, LITERALLY! Ba-dum-BUMP! Thank YOU! I’ll be here all week! So THERE! YA HAPPY NOW!? God this is probably making me seem… really bitchy… Where’s my publicist!?!? WHAT DO I PAY HER FOR!?!? Years Catfighting: I was catfighting when the Han Dynasty ruled China… that’s pretty damn old, isn’t it?! You probably… think I’m talking about Han as in Han Solo from Star Wars, don’tcha… Jerk.
Previous League: Fine, I’ll be serious for a moment… G3L, NNL, EEL, SF-CF, Liberty League of NYC
Previous Belts: G3L Champ 1x, G3L IC Champ 2x’s, NNL World Champ 1x, Queen of Honshu 2x’s, NNL Queen of Hokkaido 1x, NNL Shikoku Queen 2x’s, EEL World Champ 1x, EEL Chinese Champ 2x, EEL Korean Champ 1x, EEL Japan Champ 1x, SF-CF Queen
1x, SF-CF TV Champ 1x, SF-CF Femme Fatale 2x’s
Finishing Moves: Dirty Bitch! (Low-blow then schoolgirl with panty grab or grab onto anything that can help pin the bitch for the 3 count!), Triple Leg-Drop! (Delivers three consecutive LEG-DROPS! TO THE TITS AND THROAT!), FINAL CUT! (Cunt-kick to stoop and stun bitch, then she springs off of the ropes and delivers an AXE-KICK TO THE BACK OF THE NECK!), SECOND CUT! (Cunt-kick to stun and stoop! Then she does a Running AXE-KICK TO THE NECK AND SHOULDER!)
Strengths: Veteran experience and has an international catfighting background, great fighter, great at using weapons, Mistress of Weapons, great showmanship, great at avoiding taunts and ploys when forewarned or aware, ultra-aggressive, Mistress of Dirty Tactics and Win-at-All-Cost, attacks exposed or perceived weaknesses early and often, abilities increase in title matches, can take an ass-whipping, can win long matches, abilities increase
with her own momentum run, does not submit, stubborn, Chinese American Princess (but she will deny this heavily and rightfully so), stubborn, good brawler, Dragonlady, understands BDSM, as bizarre as it sounds she is eager to learn and grow and is quite coachable under Geese, skills increase dramatically when managed by Geese, Skills increase when working with Chiaki and/or Vivica, Geese
Weaknesses: Extremely bad temper that can cause her to hurt her own cause or cost her momentum and matches, can get sidetracked due to her crappy temper, tits, even though she can take a lot of punishment she can’t take it in heavy doses, vulnerable to offensive barrages and long momentum runs by opponents, takes abnormally high damage whenever she misses a Finisher and gets hit directly after or as she misses, can be chain-stunned till KO, does not submit, Chinese American Princess but moreso from her desire to be
accepted, low psyche but bolsters it with her stubbornness, did I mention she’s stubborn, bizarre behavior can cause instability in a stable or group, staying on her wears her out mentally, once worn out mentally she rarely wins, power moves and body attacks wear her out physically and mentally, womanhandling, Dragonlady, ring awareness decreases as situation goes against her, emotions can get away from her causing her to fuck-up, Chiaki, Vivica, Geese
Lucy Liu… is a part of Geese Howard’s celebrity catfighting stable, VLK. She is the L, in the group, sometimes in more ways than she wants to be. But all crappy puns aside she is also one of “The 3” and most definitely the most troublesome in Geese’s bizarre Love Triangle. She is jealous of Vivica’s shameless crawling all over Geese, because frankly Lucy isn’t comfortable enough to do it even though a large part of her really does want to constantly be up underneath him. She’s also envious of Chiaki-chan’s utter faith in Geese where Chiaki simply doesn’t doubt that when she needs him, he’ll be there like always. No, Lucy is somewhere between Vivica’s unashamed displays of emotion and
affection regardless of how it makes her look. And Chiaki’s cool-crappy young J-idol self-assuredness that Geese will always do right by her no matter what. It frustrates Lucy to see the two of them so secure while insecurity swirls around her like one of those goddamn hurricane symbols on the weather channel! And as you may or may not have heard, a frustrated Lucy? Is a bit of an unpredictable troublemaker. Lucy is the squeaky wheel who doesn’t get the grease, but DEMANDS to be greased, or else!? She is impulsive, BRASH! HASTY! TEMPERMENTAL!!!! COMBATIVE! AND…
Painfully terrified of the fact that she has fallen for a man who is not afraid of being honest with her, and worse…? He expects her to be honest with him. Of The 3, Lucy is the most vulnerable and the most squeamish about the fact that all of her innuendo and talk!? Is now flat-smack-square in her LAP! Oh she talks a good game about being secure in yourself and knowing who you are and “If I fell in love with a woman” blah-blah-BLAH! However? Love and relationships, securing her own “self”!? Has been one helluva hurdle for Yu Ling to climb. She doesn’t even attempt to use her actual Chinese name, something that she poo-poo’s away, but it says something, quietly… subtly, about Lucy Alexis Liu. She’d retired from celebrity catfighting years ago. Once she finished
Kill Bill in 2003, that was pretty much the end of her career in celebrity catfighting, she was so sure that Kill Bill’s success would make it so she’d never have to lace’em up ever again! She never could get into Stone Rage’s, Battle Zone League. Something that pissed her off to no end in private! But with his deep connections she didn’t dare bitch-too much, least she end up cutting off her nipple to spite her tit!
Lucy has lived a life… of extreme polar opposites. She was a child laborer and worked in harsh conditions and essentially repressed it, or so she’d claimed. The reality was that it hurt. And she had no one to tell it to, no one, even as she got older, that she could confide in. And of course no one rescued her, no one “rode in” and saved the day, like all those TV shows and bedtime stories that she would read about and see. She was teased mercilessly as unattractive and got no attention from boys, but surrounded by images of White girls and White women? It made her feel even smaller and even more insecure. Never mind that her father was ultra-strict and her mother had not nearly a clue on how to properly dress her for an American high schooling, so… She often times looked boyish and gawky, geeky. Add to that the fact that she learned English late! Even
though she was born here she was not exposed to the language, until her mother had no choice but to send her off to school! Take that as a lovely background and foundation and what you get is a girl always struggling with herself, with her place in society and even with her family. Then turn this hot mess from 0 to 60 where she slaves her way through Hollywood, often times taking parts that quite frankly would get somebody hurt! But she couldn’t turn back and she didn’t dare go back to her family a LOSER! Not when some of them were ohhh so supportive of her decision. So… she took whatever came her way… And I mean… whatever… came her way… And in Hollywood? Once that kind of reputation gets around, it leads to trouble. So while she has made a fortune she found it to be a bittersweet reward as she had been
unable to find something that she often times convinced herself was not as important as she would tell the press, during her rare times of talking to them candidly…
Love. Companionship. Someone to come home to or to have come home and just… To know that this person was, WELL IT DIDN’T HAPPEN! And the role reversal from unwanted teen to journeywoman college girl who got in over her head a couple of times! To sudden stardom and success at the ripe young age of 30! A little late… to start finally getting your love life off the ground. And no, she wasn’t the 30 Year Old Virgin or some shit like that! But… she’d never really had the “normal growing pains” that 90% of the rest of American teenagers
went through, so here she was at THIRTY FUCKIN YEARS OLD… and finally involved in her first real relationship… You can guess how it ended… Quietly… but badly. Carrying around all that baggage? Never getting the chance to talk to that “special someone” that would listen and… WAKE UP! I’M TALKING HERE!
Yeah, it was kinda like that. So, Lucy drifted and wandered while quietly resenting the rest of us “normal folk” for being able to at least have loved and lost a couple of times over. Then… in late 2002 into 2003 she met Vivica and Chiaki for the first time… And things just got WEIRD! It was love at first sight! As far as Chiaki and Vivica was always ready to hangout and listen and shoot the shit! But not just shoot the shit, but actually… Be there for her. A few times she swore Vivica caught her eyeing her! But Lucy soon became hopelessly enamored with Chiaki, which… Quickly turned into awkward ass moments of Lucy trying to get her mack on… with a 16 year old Japanese schoolgirl… That just… just sounds and looks wrong. And although Chiaki was nice about it, it became pretty clear that she wasn’t into Lucy like that. The reality was that Lucy had forgotten that Chiaki had never been
outside of Japan in all honesty and she was just trying to take everything in and the magnitude and the!? Then one of the co-stars starts hitting on her. Never mind that the director was already doing that. Couple pervs who worked at the lot… Her manager… Some smelly salary-man that kept sending her love letters… Shit like that! So Lucy was kinda dog-piling on the rabbit. But as time passed and Kill Bill winded down… They connected… SORT OF! And this would lead to Chiaki bidding Lucy farewell, and Lucy… seeing for the first time at one of the post production parties… A gloomy looking… and imposing… Black man that clearly wasn’t a part of the crew, a VIP maybe? Later that night after a whole bunch of rabble rousing, Lucy encountered him again, with a
woman dressed to kill, but the color coordination… Looked almost like one of those maid outfits without all the other crap. Either way, he spoke with Lucy, who was uninterested in whatever he was saying, but he left her a card. She was none too pleased with the way that his bitch kept eyeing her, especially with her fake ass French accent… French Fucker! It would be years later before she’d ever see him or that bitch again, but the rest, as they say, has become history…
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